Impossible to find love as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Agree. You need to save your time and energy. Acquaint yourself with options.

https://www.vidaselect.com/ivy-league-dating-site/

I am an MBA. I know plenty of cross-cultural, cross-race marriages. I would say that in each, the wife usually has something "better" going on so the wife is a "catch". It could be traditional domesticity, it could be beauty, it could be the wife has the killer job and/or fancier degree, it could be inherited wealth. Also in these couples, the guy is kind of a nice guy, not a traditional alpha. Might still be a high-earner but more of an equal partner, hands-on-dad type.

You may be trying to only date guys who are your equal or somehow more elite. Given your credentials, such guys can afford to be picky. Perhaps consider someone who would feel lucky to date you. I'm wording that vaguely because there are so many possible criteria that you could choose to relax.

Same with black women and white men. Sarena and Alexis.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is Indian … lots of Indian girls are HOT HOT HOT in early mid 20s

And the looks of Indian women takes a huge nosedive late 20s to 30s. By 40s those former hotties are just untouchable

Ivy League is not going to compensate. You might want to try finding a fellow desi boy highly educated and qualified maybe not too good looking but good family material. Love will grow if you allow it to … vs live a life of resentment that you didn’t get that IVY Chad that you are seeking

This is not true. Priyankas hold up just fine

I’m talking about the 99% not the 1% former miss India or was she a miss universe

lol

Even priyanka at 25 was a 11 and now at 40ish she is a 6.5 at best

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:People who care about so-called status are dull AF.

It is her age. Men in their mid thirties who are tall, ivy educated and earn a six figure income have their pick.

The south Asian Indian men who OP may like would also have their pick and may think OP is too old.

Have you watched Indian Matchmaker? There are women on there who have very high standards. You could probably be on the show.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am South Asian but do not have close family and I grew up across multiple continents so I am not very traditional and the arranged marriage market is not applicable to me.

My two serious boyfriends were of different races. One was German and the last one black American. I love white and black men as long as they’re successful and sophisticated.

For fun I love to travel and party although I’m slowing down as I get older. I love to read business and personal development books. I love yoga and working out.

You just need to broaden your prospects. There are tons of successful, educated, wealthy women in the DC area and fewer men who meet their criteria. The ones who do have no shortage of women in their 20s to date. It’s just the reality.

Meh I don’t know. A 46 yo woman here. Had two men come back after 6-9 months dating around and asking if I was still available (after things didn’t progress first time as I’m slow to warm up and wait till sleeping for couple months which is a problem in current dating market - men jump on those who put out right away and then regret). The named men said late 30-40s group were really in poor shape, we’re using them for money if a woman was good looking, and the general crowd not as attractive as me. Men between 44-53 yo all executive level making 300k+ one public figure. And I’m not a super model - just not overweight

[Anonymous]

Hi, Indian male here. Born raised in USA. 40s

Back in college and HS most Indian girls, certainly the attractive ones, only went after white boys. Most of them did not end up with the white boy, usually settled late in life with another ABCD leftover but from what I see have decently successful and outwardly happy marriages.

OP seems to fall into this category. Some things don’t change. Try dating within race. As far as the world has come in the last 50yrs people still mostly pair up with similar/alike so brown girls and boys aiming for white biys/girls gonna have more disappointment than those open to dating within their own community

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am South Asian but do not have close family and I grew up across multiple continents so I am not very traditional and the arranged marriage market is not applicable to me.

My two serious boyfriends were of different races. One was German and the last one black American. I love white and black men as long as they’re successful and sophisticated.

For fun I love to travel and party although I’m slowing down as I get older. I love to read business and personal development books. I love yoga and working out.

You just need to broaden your prospects. There are tons of successful, educated, wealthy women in the DC area and fewer men who meet their criteria. The ones who do have no shortage of women in their 20s to date. It’s just the reality.

Meh I don’t know. A 46 yo woman here. Had two men come back after 6-9 months dating around and asking if I was still available (after things didn’t progress first time as I’m slow to warm up and wait till sleeping for couple months which is a problem in current dating market - men jump on those who put out right away and then regret). The named men said late 30-40s group were really in poor shape, we’re using them for money if a woman was good looking, and the general crowd not as attractive as me. Men between 44-53 yo all executive level making 300k+ one public figure. And I’m not a super model - just not overweight

I’m your same age and married with 3 kids. My friends have kept up well. I’m Asian American and don’t look all that different from when I was in my thirties. My friends and I all met our husbands in our twenties and had children in our thirties. I already had 2 kids by the time I was OP’s age.

My BIL is 35, single and earns a seven figure income. He has a very specific type. I know he likes well educated, natural pretty and tall. At the end of the day, it is personality though.

[Anonymous]

Why not find someone from your own ethnicity?

[Anonymous]

Her being 5-10 Indian girl seriously limits her desi prospects. Indian men are on average shorter than 5-10

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am 33 years old. MBA from an IVY. Worked and obtained by undergraduate education abroad. I am an ethnic minority. I am told I am beautiful all the time. I am 5'10, size 2, tan skin and long silky black hair. I love to travel for work and for fun. I am make 300k+ working in finance. The one part of my life that absolutely disappoints is my love life.

I keep dating men who have either secret girlfriends or they just want to date casually. My last boyfriend was a good catch. Great family, Ivy educated, good career but he was American and he broke up with me after a year saying I was too international and too "exotic" and he wants a "regular American girl" to bring home to his parents. I was pretty devastated. All of my hard work and education only to have men say I am not "regular" enough to date.

Can a high achieving minority find love in America?

I am a high achieving minority - Indian-American woman with an MBA from a top 5 school (note: not all Ivies are in the top 5) and married an amazing midwestern white man whose family loves me when I was your age (oh, and more importantly, my family loves him). So yeah, it's absolutely possible. I think that being in finance, you are probably just meeting a huge amount of douche bags. Start looking in better places - try to meet men through your friends or relatives. My husband was the friend of a friend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who care about so-called status are dull AF.

It is her age. Men in their mid thirties who are tall, ivy educated and earn a six figure income have their pick.

The south Asian Indian men who OP may like would also have their pick and may think OP is too old.

Have you watched Indian Matchmaker? There are women on there who have very high standards. You could probably be on the show.

That show is not realistic and edits out a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This is OP. I am South Asian but do not have close family and I grew up across multiple continents so I am not very traditional and the arranged marriage market is not applicable to me.

My two serious boyfriends were of different races. One was German and the last one black American. I love white and black men as long as they’re successful and sophisticated.

For fun I love to travel and party although I’m slowing down as I get older. I love to read business and personal development books. I love yoga and working out.

You just need to broaden your prospects. There are tons of successful, educated, wealthy women in the DC area and fewer men who meet their criteria. The ones who do have no shortage of women in their 20s to date. It’s just the reality.

Meh I don’t know. A 46 yo woman here. Had two men come back after 6-9 months dating around and asking if I was still available (after things didn’t progress first time as I’m slow to warm up and wait till sleeping for couple months which is a problem in current dating market - men jump on those who put out right away and then regret). The named men said late 30-40s group were really in poor shape, we’re using them for money if a woman was good looking, and the general crowd not as attractive as me. Men between 44-53 yo all executive level making 300k+ one public figure. And I’m not a super model - just not overweight

I’m your same age and married with 3 kids. My friends have kept up well. I’m Asian American and don’t look all that different from when I was in my thirties. My friends and I all met our husbands in our twenties and had children in our thirties. I already had 2 kids by the time I was OP’s age.

My BIL is 35, single and earns a seven figure income. He has a very specific type. I know he likes well educated, natural pretty and tall. At the end of the day, it is personality though.

Yea, Asian and Eastern European women don’t add much weight and look good well into late 30s-40s. The men from OLD I'm talking about all dated European born or Asian women for that reason. Sometimes Persian or Turkish. American born women add weight (check average BMI in the US by the age group - it tells a lot ) .
Indian women tend to gain weight after 30. Look at Priyanka
OP - what’s your height and weight ?

[Anonymous]

Men could care less you are ivy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If OP is Indian … lots of Indian girls are HOT HOT HOT in early mid 20s

And the looks of Indian women takes a huge nosedive late 20s to 30s. By 40s those former hotties are just untouchable

Ivy League is not going to compensate. You might want to try finding a fellow desi boy highly educated and qualified maybe not too good looking but good family material. Love will grow if you allow it to … vs live a life of resentment that you didn’t get that IVY Chad that you are seeking

This is not true. Priyankas hold up just fine

Please. She has had a lot of work done and is a celebrity. The average Indian woman does not look like her at that age and you know that. That’s like saying the average White woman ages like Jennifer Anniston or Gwen Paltrow.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Her being 5-10 Indian girl seriously limits her desi prospects. Indian men are on average shorter than 5-10

She likes White and Black men.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Her being 5-10 Indian girl seriously limits her desi prospects. Indian men are on average shorter than 5-10

She likes White and Black men.

She’s trying to be nice. That’s how she says she likes tall men