Impossible to find love as a minority woman

[Anonymous]

Are you pretty? Do you have a nice body? If you have a pretty face, if you can laugh at his stupid jokes, appear genuine while doing so, and if you like sex, beer, steaks and baseball or whatever sports he’s into then you can find a man.

But honestly you kind of sound a bit one dimensional. If you were a man, having a good job would be enough.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:While dating post divorce in my 40s, I've met several white men who claimed that US born Indian women were promiscuous and cheated on them. Maybe OP needs to remove the party line and become more traditional?

USA born Indians and Persian girls are very promiscuous it probably has to do with rebellion against the conservative misogynic cultures they come from

I graduated from GMU in late 90/s lots of Indian and Middle Eastern students. the hot Indian girls were known for sleeping with any half decent white D

The Indian dudes had the worst time. Brown men are generally not attractive to white women and most of their own women wanted to fcuk only white D

Agree. I'm a white mid 40s woman and I met a lot of really nice late 30s Indian men who were tall, educated and offered to date them. Unfortunately, I'm not attracted to them (although the guys are not ugly at all!). Probably, the same applies to white men. In general, white people tend to date within their race (with an exception for East Asia)

[Anonymous]

whaaaat, there are countless white/minority couples and families everywhere in every combination. Are you in DC, OP or any metro area? They're on the news, in the White House, running for office...literally everywhere. Even my parents, aunts, uncles... all interracial.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a decade ahead of you and I got my MBA from a top-5 program. My experience was matched by my friends at Harvard and Stanford. The dating pool can’t get smaller than the claustrophobia of MBA programs, and I can tell you what I saw from my classmates during my time there and after graduation:

-by b-school, successful men are more likely to already be seriously partnered or married. Quality men who are not immature for their age and are ready for adult lives are not common. So your male peer group already shriveled when you chose to go for an MBA. If you’re like me and many, you realized that unconsciously and sought out b-school and a high-powered career because in the back of your head you were preparing for a single-income life.

-during b-school, like associated with like. Rich white guys who went to ivies and NESCAC schools associated with rich white girls with the same background. Sufficiently attractive non-white or non-rich women seemed to be accepted into this group based on their looks

-it’s rare for men to date outside their race unless it’s a white guy with an east Asian woman.

-international men rarely date American women, full stop. But there are tons of international men in MBA programs.

This left a ton of single, accomplished, average-looking white women and gorgeous-looking south Asian and black women asking the same questions as you are after we graduated. Many of my female classmates are still single.

I’ll be brutally honest about myself: I’m a white woman but I’m not rich and I’m homely. Who I wanted to date vs. who wanted to date me? Very little overlap there. White men with similar backgrounds and interests as mine could date far above their level of looks or wealth. So now I am married to a man who is not white and not from the US. It is not a fairytale but his goals matched mine at the time and we had some chemistry.

Some people find the perfect partner, but plenty of us make compromises or settle, and plenty also chose to stay single. It’s just that no one writes about that on their wedding websites.

Haha it's not this complicated. East Asian women pursue white men. They're also found in nerdy niches where plain looking white men work. But it depends on how attractive the woman is, her race rarely will matter unless they have some internalized racism. As long as the minority woman is hot sexy and has a job its not an issue and if it is then why be with someone that shallow anyway?

[Anonymous]

You sound kind of shallow and status obsessed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Men don't care about your advanced degrees. They're not intimidated by you. You're just annoying. Be more pleasant. It's as simple as that.

Yes sir. I agree 100%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m a decade ahead of you and I got my MBA from a top-5 program. My experience was matched by my friends at Harvard and Stanford. The dating pool can’t get smaller than the claustrophobia of MBA programs, and I can tell you what I saw from my classmates during my time there and after graduation:

-by b-school, successful men are more likely to already be seriously partnered or married. Quality men who are not immature for their age and are ready for adult lives are not common. So your male peer group already shriveled when you chose to go for an MBA. If you’re like me and many, you realized that unconsciously and sought out b-school and a high-powered career because in the back of your head you were preparing for a single-income life.

-during b-school, like associated with like. Rich white guys who went to ivies and NESCAC schools associated with rich white girls with the same background. Sufficiently attractive non-white or non-rich women seemed to be accepted into this group based on their looks

-it’s rare for men to date outside their race unless it’s a white guy with an east Asian woman.

-international men rarely date American women, full stop. But there are tons of international men in MBA programs.

This left a ton of single, accomplished, average-looking white women and gorgeous-looking south Asian and black women asking the same questions as you are after we graduated. Many of my female classmates are still single.

I’ll be brutally honest about myself: I’m a white woman but I’m not rich and I’m homely. Who I wanted to date vs. who wanted to date me? Very little overlap there. White men with similar backgrounds and interests as mine could date far above their level of looks or wealth. So now I am married to a man who is not white and not from the US. It is not a fairytale but his goals matched mine at the time and we had some chemistry.

Some people find the perfect partner, but plenty of us make compromises or settle, and plenty also chose to stay single. It’s just that no one writes about that on their wedding websites.

Haha it's not this complicated. East Asian women pursue white men. They're also found in nerdy niches where plain looking white men work. But it depends on how attractive the woman is, her race rarely will matter unless they have some internalized racism. As long as the minority woman is hot sexy and has a job its not an issue and if it is then why be with someone that shallow anyway?

Most people marry from their own cultures. Wasps marry wasps. Indians marry Indians. Persians marry Persians. Of course many people marry outside their race but a white man is not obligated to date or marry a woman of color.

I know Asian men and black women do the worst on dating apps. Not sure how south Asian women do compared to East Asian women.

[Anonymous]

For men everything is secondary to looks and their ego. Get a matchmaker.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am not as successful as you but an MBA making 175k in local government. I am Indian and married a fellow Indian guy who makes 900k. I am only 5’3” but damn cute if I say so myself. I don’t think it’s hard to find love as a POC woman, I dated White Men as well as Indian and Black men, all were good people in their own ways .

I will say one thing though, my criteria was to marry someone whom I loved and shared similar values with. I wasn’t too hung up on earning potential, educated yes but not crazy about money. The tragedy is that the most emotional decision of our lives is often driven by cold calculations whereas it should be an emotional decision from the heart.

The only thing that stood out to me in your post is too much emphasis on your resume plus resume of future spouse but not much emphasis on you or him as a person. Maybe it’s time to sit down and rethink your approach to this whole thing, just my 2 cents. Good luck!

It’s always the women married to high earning men who are first to claim “I wasn’t hung up on eating potential” and didn’t care about money. Right.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You sound kind of shallow and status obsessed.

Jealous man

[Anonymous]

Op you should give Indian men a chance. My DH and many of his friends who graduated from IITs with Ivy MBAs (even without MBA) are making $1million+ in NYC in finance. On top of that my husband loves to cook and is a great dad and husband. However, he looks fairly unassuming, you probably ignore such people but my friends who are married to such guys have the best lives. I am an engineer with an Ivy MBA as well. A couple of my very good looking MBA friends who waited for the perfect package (especially in terms of looks) are still not married. GIve the desi boys a chance, you may be surprised.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op you should give Indian men a chance. My DH and many of his friends who graduated from IITs with Ivy MBAs (even without MBA) are making $1million+ in NYC in finance. On top of that my husband loves to cook and is a great dad and husband. However, he looks fairly unassuming, you probably ignore such people but my friends who are married to such guys have the best lives. I am an engineer with an Ivy MBA as well. A couple of my very good looking MBA friends who waited for the perfect package (especially in terms of looks) are still not married. GIve the desi boys a chance, you may be surprised.

You write as if it's so easy for a woman to force herself into a man she doesn't desire sexually!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op you should give Indian men a chance. My DH and many of his friends who graduated from IITs with Ivy MBAs (even without MBA) are making $1million+ in NYC in finance. On top of that my husband loves to cook and is a great dad and husband. However, he looks fairly unassuming, you probably ignore such people but my friends who are married to such guys have the best lives. I am an engineer with an Ivy MBA as well. A couple of my very good looking MBA friends who waited for the perfect package (especially in terms of looks) are still not married. GIve the desi boys a chance, you may be surprised.

You write as if it's so easy for a woman to force herself into a man she doesn't desire sexually!

Or is $1m a year making it better with lights turn off?

[Anonymous]

Your height is working against you. It eliminated a large % of men. Then add on your education and income and you’re limited to maybe 1% of men.

If you want to marry you need to date nonstop. Approach it like a job.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your height is working against you. It eliminated a large % of men. Then add on your education and income and you’re limited to maybe 1% of men.

If you want to marry you need to date nonstop. Approach it like a job.

Where did OP state her height ?