Husband and his partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have 15 lpartners at work and we talk to each other about vacations, how we are feeling, what we did over the weekend, bounding ideas of reach other, etc. he isn’t her boss — he’s her partner. The only thing that seems very different is that there are only 2 of them. If their business is successful and making money and their personal friendship allows the business to thrive, I don’t see a real issue. (If they are not doing well because they spend too much time chatting, that’s a different issue.)

I just can’t see how you benefit by making a big deal about this “emotional affair.” Obviously it improves his mood to have a friend that he is in business with. Do you want him in a worse mood? Do you want his business to dissolve because they feel awkward around each other? What do you gain by telling him he can’t talk to his business partner so much? It seems to me you gain nothing and potentially lose a lot.

Finall question—would you feel this way if it was a male partner?

This. If it’s same sex, you know you would think it’s just friendship. But it’s the opposite sex, so it’s an “emotional affair.”
OP, insecurity is so unattractive.

OP: I’m really over the “cool girl”, go with the flow type of persona people try to push on women. “Insecurity is so unattractive”; great. I don’t honestly care about what’s attractive. What I care about is the respect and love my husband and I have for each other in our marriage. If something makes me feel uncomfortable, I don’t give a shit if it’s unattractive to discuss or makes me look insecure. My happiness, my satisfaction with my marriage, and my personhood is worth looking insecure over. Imagine caring how you look when you’re hurting inside and too scared to talk to your spouse because “it’s unattractive”. Pass.

My, my, my, my, my.

Well not cool girl. There are many ways to express what you are feeling. Talking about how you feel about it and why it upsets you is always a good plan.

Dictating new terms for when and how he talks to his partner and making ultimatums is where you should draw the line.

These are two really different things. Expressing yourself is always good but trying to force change is never good as it becomes controlling and forms resentment.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Have you wondered who the father of the baby is?

Hahahaha. I am at a bar and I am having a great start

[Anonymous]

OP you are 1000% correct to feel this way. I can tell you as a man if a woman opens up this much to me, it's an invitation for more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s hard. I try to be fair in these things, but my husband is old (we’re 50+), and she is this hot young 20-something. I’m trying to be logical, but I understand the appeal of a shiny new toy. It also doesn’t help that they go into the office together a lot. It’s just the two of them. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

If your husband wants to cheat he will. He’s not lacking for opportunity in this scenario. Make sure you have your ducks in a row and try to live your life as best as you can.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m a very pragmatic person. Most people would call me quiet or reserved. I don’t often bring issues up with my spouse unless they’re quite serious, and I come armed with a solution. I think in 12 years of marriage, I’ve had a Sit Down conversation about something concerning me 3 or 4 times.

In my opinion, this is a serious issue, and I would be gearing up to discuss it. I don’t know if your husband is having an inappropriate relationship with his business partner, but I do know he’s doing a few things: 1) he is setting up a scenario where an inappropriate relationship can easily occur, 2) he is not being respectful of his marriage (I am very religious, so this is just my opinion, but I think his long, personal, all-day talks and lack of boundaries with the female colleague is extremely disrespectful to a marriage), and 3) he is pitting you, his wife, against a female colleague and creating deep, long term rifts and distrust by allowing this to continue in front of your face.

Now, I think you have to decide what you want, OP. When you sit down to talk with him, what are you wanting to achieve? He still has to communicate with her. That’s non-negotiable. But don’t be gaslit or fooled into thinking that the options are either the status quo or something extreme. Men have a tendency to do this when you push them. “What do you want? I guess I’ll just never talk to her again.” I’m sure you’ve seen it.

He is a grown man and is fully capable of implementing boundaries and demonstrating appropriate communication with his peers. You are not asking too much. Believe me, OP, your husband would be extremely uncomfortable if the tables were turned and you were giggling on the phone with one specific male coworker for 9 hours a day. He would have no issue telling you about how YOU need to be more respectful of the marriage.

So, sit down and think about what you want from the discussion. I do not think this is normal business behavior, and I think they’re dancing on the line of inappropriateness. Everyone has different boundaries for these things. Mine probably fall somewhere closer to yours because I would feel equally disturbed.

Not sure you are pragmatic as much as self-important lol.

[Anonymous]

Op this is in no way acceptable. Your dh is loving this attention and the partner is loving the emotional aspect she gets from this emotional affair. They are both turning away from their spouses, flirting and over sharing personal information with each other. Please speak with your dh and get back to us. He is not respecting you.

[Anonymous]

So, you think your DH's 20 something, married and pregnant partner, is looking to hook up with your 50+ husband? 😆 🤣 😂

Ask him what has changed in your relationship. Tell him you don't feel as connected. Leave this poor woman who is probably just a warm, open person out of it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s hard. I try to be fair in these things, but my husband is old (we’re 50+), and she is this hot young 20-something. I’m trying to be logical, but I understand the appeal of a shiny new toy. It also doesn’t help that they go into the office together a lot. It’s just the two of them. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

So yes, you are insecure he's talking to a hot young thang. Even though she's married, pregnant and has a life with her husband.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op this is in no way acceptable. Your dh is loving this attention and the partner is loving the emotional aspect she gets from this emotional affair. They are both turning away from their spouses, flirting and over sharing personal information with each other. Please speak with your dh and get back to us. He is not respecting you.

This is not an emotional affair. They are business partners. Asking what someone likes to eat is not an emotional affair ffs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s hard. I try to be fair in these things, but my husband is old (we’re 50+), and she is this hot young 20-something. I’m trying to be logical, but I understand the appeal of a shiny new toy. It also doesn’t help that they go into the office together a lot. It’s just the two of them. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

The hot, married 20-something is NOT interested in your old fuddy duddy husband
You should be embarrassed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s hard. I try to be fair in these things, but my husband is old (we’re 50+), and she is this hot young 20-something. I’m trying to be logical, but I understand the appeal of a shiny new toy. It also doesn’t help that they go into the office together a lot. It’s just the two of them. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

So yes, you are insecure he's talking to a hot young thang. Even though she's married, pregnant and has a life with her husband.

Is the paternity confirmed?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s hard. I try to be fair in these things, but my husband is old (we’re 50+), and she is this hot young 20-something. I’m trying to be logical, but I understand the appeal of a shiny new toy. It also doesn’t help that they go into the office together a lot. It’s just the two of them. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

So yes, you are insecure he's talking to a hot young thang. Even though she's married, pregnant and has a life with her husband.

Is the paternity confirmed?

Stop trolling.

[Anonymous]

There’s no fool like an old fool. Your husband is clearly enjoying the attention, OP. Are you both wealthy?

[Anonymous]

This is an emotional affair.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s hard. I try to be fair in these things, but my husband is old (we’re 50+), and she is this hot young 20-something. I’m trying to be logical, but I understand the appeal of a shiny new toy. It also doesn’t help that they go into the office together a lot. It’s just the two of them. It just makes me feel uncomfortable.

If your husband wants to cheat he will. He’s not lacking for opportunity in this scenario. Make sure you have your ducks in a row and try to live your life as best as you can.

Disagree. He’s lacking for opportunity to cheat because he’s middle-aged and she’s young and hot. She might like the attention and connection and he might want to be banging her but chances are they won’t.