Husband and his partner

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The elephant in the room is how attractive the two woman are. If OP is a 4 and the business partner is a 9, then this situation is a problem, because (a) they are having an affair, (b) they will eventually, (c) OP's jealousy will overtake everything, or (d) all of the above.

But if they are the other way around (i.e., OP is hot and business partner is not), then this is nothing to worry about.

PP here, sorry for not reading the earlier posts that revealed the OP and her husband are 50+ and the partner is a cute young thing in her 20's.
That brings us closer to solving the case. Obviously your husband THINKS she is hot, and he enjoys having long open ended conversations with a sexy girl in his 20's. That in itself is at least somewhat of a problem.

But is he actually doing anything with her, or would he? That depends on what kind of man he is, and you are in the best position to judge.

And even if he wanted to do something, would she? It is possible that a sexy girl in her 20's would want nothing to do with a flabby balding guy in his 50's. But on the other hand, if he is dashing, distinguished, and smooth, and a star in the industry that has taken her under his wing, that could be an inevitable hookup waiting to happen. Again, you are in better position than anyone to judge.

I find it very odd that people that far apart in age would be business partners. Possibly the post is a troll, but if real, then I wonder if the husband went out of his way to orchestrate a partnership with a young hottie.

OP, can you share more detail on the industry and how this came about?

[Anonymous]

Is this a real business or is DH paying a young woman to hang out with him?

[Anonymous]

OP, you don’t sound like someone who is naturally jealous and insecure. Especially if it’s rare for you to express concerns like this, a good husband should take it very, very seriously. If not, be worried it is something he is not capable of retreating from and what that means.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Is this a real business or is DH paying a young woman to hang out with him?

Yeah, I’m curious too. What kind of business is this?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: It’s her husband.

She might want to get a paternity test after the baby is born.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This will 200% end in an affair. I have seen it over and over and over again. Business partner is going to be the step-mom and new wife. I give it 5 years.

If you can’t be professional and keep a boundary at work, there’s no hope for a marriage continuing successfully. I’m sorry, OP. I’m trying to give it to you straight. I would be contacting a lawyer soon, especially since he expects you to sit idly by and watch him flirt with an affair.

+1. This is happening to me now. DH recently filed for divorce because he “just realized” how much he is in love with her (after 5 years of emotional affair and at least a year of physical). He’s been being weird and gaslighting me for years. And she’s divorcing her DH and 2 young kids. It’s truly disgusting.

Guys delude themselves that’s it’s not an affair until physical, but their brain gets rewired over time to choose her instead of you

Except for the AP is having a baby so how will she be the step mom? Seems like you are just applying your own experience here instead of reading what OP wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Final question—would you feel this way if it was a male partner?

NP, late to the party. You (and others) made this point several times, but the fact is: It WOULDN'T happen if the partner were male. Two straight dudes would not be giggling on the phone about personal matters all hours of the day. His desire to entertain this crap is entirely because he gets a titillating ego boost from talking to a mid-20s woman.

[Anonymous]

Hot sexy AP is married to a worse loser than OP husband, less income. She wants the 50 year old for better lifestyle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hot sexy AP is married to a worse loser than OP husband, less income. She wants the 50 year old for better lifestyle.

So you think the pregnant married 20-something went after the married 50-something thinking that they'd both leave their spouses and run away together or something?
Maybe if she were single. And not pregnant. But otherwise that seems pretty far fetched.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hot sexy AP is married to a worse loser than OP husband, less income. She wants the 50 year old for better lifestyle.

So you think the pregnant married 20-something went after the married 50-something thinking that they'd both leave their spouses and run away together or something?
Maybe if she were single. And not pregnant. But otherwise that seems pretty far fetched.

I hope this AP's life falls apart and that her husband leaves her and she has to figure it out as a single mom. Truly. What a rotten person. If she is only 6-7 weeks pregnant, she probably wasn't pregnant when she started hooking up with OP's DH. I am just praying for OP that the baby is not OP's DH's baby. OP, how does this AP know its her husband's baby and not yours?

[Anonymous]

You guys are my women friends. That’s to say I don’t have any irl. Me and my guy friends text and call each other all day long and we have a group chat somebody added a gf to it and she blocked it within a week.

Op 10 pages of this nothingburger?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would call this an emotional affair. It’s definitely way beyond a business relationship or even a normal friendship.

You'd be wrong.

He's clearly pretty open about it all. So now nobody is allowed to have friends of the opposite sex? Or close working relationships? JFC some of you need to grow up and stop being so insecure.

Real grown ups know this is crossing the line.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You guys are my women friends. That’s to say I don’t have any irl. Me and my guy friends text and call each other all day long and we have a group chat somebody added a gf to it and she blocked it within a week.

Op 10 pages of this nothingburger?

Not a nothingburger because this is the same OP of another, later thread. She now found proof the business partner is her DH's affair partner too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Final question—would you feel this way if it was a male partner?

NP, late to the party. You (and others) made this point several times, but the fact is: It WOULDN'T happen if the partner were male. Two straight dudes would not be giggling on the phone about personal matters all hours of the day. His desire to entertain this crap is entirely because he gets a titillating ego boost from talking to a mid-20s woman.

I don't know... I worked for a small startup with two male business partners, and they were in CONSTANT communication. Definitely calls before and after every meeting, an hour-long 1:1 every day, and an easy, happy, jokey dynamic. Easily they touched base 7 or 8 times a day. That's how a lot of business partners operate, especially in a very small business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband has a female business partner, and I am uncomfortable by the amount of communication they have and how much personal information is shared.

Every single day, the two of them have a one-on-one meeting for an hour where they just have coffee, discuss what they did the night before, chat about personal things (“Oh, did you do yoga on the beach when you were on vacation?”, “If you could eat one thing forever, what would it be?”, “what’s your middle name?”), and laugh.

After that, they are in near constant contact from 9 am to 7 pm. She calls him around 7 times a day. They chat on Slack when they’re not on the phone. They call each other before meetings to plan, call after meetings to discuss how it went, and any questions she may have during the day, she calls him. It’s never less than 30 minutes.

Now, she’s pregnant. She told him when she was about 6-7 weeks, which is way early for work. He’s been mentioning things like, “Oh, She came to the meeting today but she was so nauseous” or I’ll overhear her whining to him about how nauseous she feels or how unwell she feels.

I have talked to him numerous times about how the excessive communication makes me feel like he does nothing but spend his days giggling and flirting with her. If there’s a question, I think email or slack is appropriate. It doesn’t need to be an hour long phone call. If you need to plan meetings, do it during your hour long morning call when you do nothing but just chat about your lives and how much you have in common. The pregnancy stuff is really throwing me off too— that’s stuff I would never, ever share with a boss or coworker; I’d text my husband if I was feeling morning sickness.

I am preparing to talk to him about it again today because I’ve gotten to the point where it deeply bothers me. His response is always that he’s doing nothing wrong except running a business and if I have a problem with the way he’s doing it, THAT is a problem.

Any advice? Am I overreacting?

So I am a guy and I’m kind of torn here because on one hand I do see your point that thier relationship sounds over the line. On the other hand I’ve had very deep friendships with guys I’ve worked with. In fact Ive gone on overnight golf and hunting trips with work buddies and our families have even vacationed together.