Did anyone's kids NOT get into a frat or sorority - one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

So simple minded. There are more than a dozen houses with different personalities and values. They are not all “exclusive” like your Hollywood vision.

The point of college is to learn to get along with people with different personalities and viewpoints.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

So simple minded. There are more than a dozen houses with different personalities and values. They are not all “exclusive” like your Hollywood vision.

The point of college is to learn to get along with people with different personalities and viewpoints.

The point of college is an education. Education should ultimately help with that. Greek life is where kids who just turned 18 are looking for friends. News flash, friends usually have a lot in common.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

My daughter dropped out of rush at the end. She was only left with 2 sororities that were basically weird or nerdy girls. Not her vibe. Sorry, but that is the truth.

And there’s a big difference between “not her vibe” and “I only want a popular house”.

The assumptions these people make about girls like yours is always a mean girl approach instead.

So you don’t think calling other girls “weird” or “nerdy” isn’t “mean girl approach”? Hmm pot meet kettle.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

My daughter dropped out of rush at the end. She was only left with 2 sororities that were basically weird or nerdy girls. Not her vibe. Sorry, but that is the truth.

And there’s a big difference between “not her vibe” and “I only want a popular house”.

The assumptions these people make about girls like yours is always a mean girl approach instead.

So you don’t think calling other girls “weird” or “nerdy” isn’t “mean girl approach”? Hmm pot meet kettle.

I just didn’t weigh in on that. I’m responding to those of you who assume - and repeat all the time - that when a girl drops out it’s because she only wanted THE most popular houses. That’s not true. They are looking for fit too. When houses look for fit, you say “that’s the way it works” but when a girl looks for fit you call her a snob or entitled.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

Gag. This makes me happy my DD didn’t rush so she wasn’t so exposed to guys who think like this . “Best girls”. Disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

Hazing? I couldn't imagine tolerating hazing thinking it was worth it because it might help me network for my finance career a few years down the road.

What a system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

Hazing? I couldn't imagine tolerating hazing thinking it was worth it because it might help me network for my finance career a few years down the road.

What a system.

Aside from a few extreme and highly publicized incidents every few years, most hazing isn't that bad, especially when weighed against the benefits of fraternity membership: you move to the front of the line in the competition for the most desirable girls in campus *and* for the most desirable jobs on The Street at graduation. A typical fraternity pledge isn't getting paddled and being made to do the elephant walk. He's cleaning the house, washing upperclassmen's skidmarked laundry, and DDing at parties.

[Anonymous]

I somehow got into one of the top tier sororities in the country at an SEC school even though I came from a blue collar family and was ok looking but definitely not thin or blonde.

But I was a good student, hard worker, friendly and connected with the group.

It was a great decision for me and I am still active as an alumni 40 years later.

I have lifelong friends from that group.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I somehow got into one of the top tier sororities in the country at an SEC school even though I came from a blue collar family and was ok looking but definitely not thin or blonde.

But I was a good student, hard worker, friendly and connected with the group.

It was a great decision for me and I am still active as an alumni 40 years later.

I have lifelong friends from that group.

40 years ago is another world from SEC rush now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

Hazing? I couldn't imagine tolerating hazing thinking it was worth it because it might help me network for my finance career a few years down the road.

What a system.

Aside from a few extreme and highly publicized incidents every few years, most hazing isn't that bad, especially when weighed against the benefits of fraternity membership: you move to the front of the line in the competition for the most desirable girls in campus *and* for the most desirable jobs on The Street at graduation. A typical fraternity pledge isn't getting paddled and being made to do the elephant walk. He's cleaning the house, washing upperclassmen's skidmarked laundry, and DDing at parties.

Is The Street Wall Street? Lol that's not appealing at all for most.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I somehow got into one of the top tier sororities in the country at an SEC school even though I came from a blue collar family and was ok looking but definitely not thin or blonde.

But I was a good student, hard worker, friendly and connected with the group.

It was a great decision for me and I am still active as an alumni 40 years later.

I have lifelong friends from that group.

Be honest: did the girls in your top-tier sorority prefer to date the frat gods or the geeds?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

Hazing? I couldn't imagine tolerating hazing thinking it was worth it because it might help me network for my finance career a few years down the road.

What a system.

Aside from a few extreme and highly publicized incidents every few years, most hazing isn't that bad, especially when weighed against the benefits of fraternity membership: you move to the front of the line in the competition for the most desirable girls in campus *and* for the most desirable jobs on The Street at graduation. A typical fraternity pledge isn't getting paddled and being made to do the elephant walk. He's cleaning the house, washing upperclassmen's skidmarked laundry, and DDing at parties.

Um, I'll pass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to a nephew at Big South University and likely because he was out of state and not hyper/local. Top fraternities are for in-staters only. My brother (his dad) was shocked as we attended same SLAC w/o Greek system.

I don't think it's a south thing. Wisconsin has a few Jewish/East coast ones and then a bunch are mostly for local/chicago or in-state. Just as an example. Similar at Indiana per PP

Very similar at Michigan.

So if you don't get into the Jewish ones (assuming you're Jewish) then choices are limited?

My DD is in the Jewish sorority and we are wasps. I think it is 60% Jewish. It is one of the top sororities at her school and she is having a good time.

I went to a big, well known ACC school with a decent size (but not super huge like an SEC school) Greek system and was in a top 3 sorority and we had many Jewish women in our sorority. Your religion was a non factor for our sorority. It seemed more relevant for frats as there were a few Jewish frats at the time. If I really think about it, we probably were 1/3 Jewish at the sorority in the 90s.

I’m pretty sure the traditionally Jewish sororities (SDT, AEPhi, DPhiE) are officially open to non-Jews, as is required to be part of NPC. But unofficially there are still a few campuses where at least one of the traditionally Jewish chapters can easily fill their entire pledge class with only Jewish women, so they tend to do that since they are highly sought out for this reason.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.

Yes, anyone can have a decent college experience as long as they make a few loyal friends. But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat. There's a reason the bidding process is so competitive and pledges are willing to subject themselves to 8-12 weeks of hazing to become members, and it isn't because college kids are masochists. Membership has serious value.

Hazing? I couldn't imagine tolerating hazing thinking it was worth it because it might help me network for my finance career a few years down the road.

What a system.

Aside from a few extreme and highly publicized incidents every few years, most hazing isn't that bad, especially when weighed against the benefits of fraternity membership: you move to the front of the line in the competition for the most desirable girls in campus *and* for the most desirable jobs on The Street at graduation. A typical fraternity pledge isn't getting paddled and being made to do the elephant walk. He's cleaning the house, washing upperclassmen's skidmarked laundry, and DDing at parties.

Um, I'll pass.

Voluntarily, or do you mean you didn't get a bid? It's literally eight weeks (12 at the absolute most) of annoying and somewhat time-consuming but mostly anodyne stuff. And then you're a freaking god on campus for the next three and a half years.