Did anyone's kids NOT get into a frat or sorority - one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

This doesn’t happen.
It can’t.
That would mean that a school forces a chapter to carry a girl they don’t want to carry, and that doesn’t happen.
What does happen is the guaranteed placement thing that PP just described.

And in that case, the chapters have an agreement that they won’t carry a girl into the last night unless they are willing to pledge her. So if you get two invitations to that last night, and you go to both parties and rank order BOTH groups, you will get a bid from one of them. It may not be to the one you prefer, but you won’t be left without a bid—even if both of them put you on the very bottom of their list (which you won’t know because only like 3 people in the chapter see the actual list).

[Anonymous]

Lots of girls were disappointed during the Elon sorority rush this year, but there was one sorority still recruiting in COB so I suspect most could have gotten in to that sorority but rejected it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin's kid got blackballed. She was a triple legacy at one sorority and didn't get it and the other sororities blackballed her too. Apparently the girls from her hometown at the various sororities didn't like her and blackballed her everywhere.

I get the feeling she's the mean popular girl type. She also has brothers rather than sisters and is the adored girl in the family so she's probably a pick me type.

Did she end up happy?

She came home after first semester, took a semester off, and transferred to a tier 100 SLAC. She had an ok experience there.

That is sad. So many didn't like her??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of girls were disappointed during the Elon sorority rush this year, but there was one sorority still recruiting in COB so I suspect most could have gotten in to that sorority but rejected it.

Rush is so stressful!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Lots of girls were disappointed during the Elon sorority rush this year, but there was one sorority still recruiting in COB so I suspect most could have gotten in to that sorority but rejected it.

Funny, this is actually how my sorority (at a large state school) started doing better in recruitment. A large group of girls who didn’t get the top house they wanted dropped out, but then a couple of weeks after recruitment, they sort of wished they hadn’t dropped and decided to COB the same group together. Suddenly we had 23 new members through COB who were really energetic, friendly, outgoing, cute and fun! The next year our chapter had really great results—and those girls were some of our best recruiters, so you just never know!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

Yes definitely true.
But at that point it’s still a guaranteed placement.
You can still decide not to be placed, but then you have to accept that it’s you deciding you are too good for a house that wanted you. So….that’s kind of on you, right??

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

Yes definitely true.
But at that point it’s still a guaranteed placement.
You can still decide not to be placed, but then you have to accept that it’s you deciding you are too good for a house that wanted you. So….that’s kind of on you, right??

“Guaranteed placement “ means you’re guaranteed a bid from the house with the least interest. From the house that’s struggling to keep its numbers up. From the house that needs the administration to fix the numbers so that more girls end up with this “choice” because they picked the wrong house when they decided to add another one to the campus.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard that happens often at Indiana- though I don't know how to quantify often. My dd will be a freshman there next year and that is something that has come up. Luckily rush is not until second semester, but I do worry about how that scenario could impact her freshman experience.

So based on my extremely limited heresay, I'd say it happens frequently.

Any why there? I'm confused how kids are cut if they know others and connect with some
Of the kids?

Well, for sororities they have a quota (or cap) based on the number of women in recruitment divided by the number of chapters on campus so that you don’t have one group that has 700 members and another that has 60.
So imagine you have 300 women in a chapter and each member has 3-4 girls from high school (or fall class or university club or church youth group or summer camp) that they know and loooove….but quota is 65.
Now, some of those will overlap among the group. But you can see where just because Susie Sorority and her two roommates know and love Nelly Newmember doesn’t necessarily mean Nelly is one of the 65 at the end of the week.
It’s hard on everyone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

Yes definitely true.
But at that point it’s still a guaranteed placement.
You can still decide not to be placed, but then you have to accept that it’s you deciding you are too good for a house that wanted you. So….that’s kind of on you, right??

“Guaranteed placement “ means you’re guaranteed a bid from the house with the least interest. From the house that’s struggling to keep its numbers up. From the house that needs the administration to fix the numbers so that more girls end up with this “choice” because they picked the wrong house when they decided to add another one to the campus.

This is wildly inaccurate post.
But I’m sorry you experienced disappointment with the recruitment process that caused you to take it out on a chapter that collectively struggles to be as fabulous at appearing excited and bubbly about making meaningless small talk as the groups you wish had extended a bid to you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My cousin's kid got blackballed. She was a triple legacy at one sorority and didn't get it and the other sororities blackballed her too. Apparently the girls from her hometown at the various sororities didn't like her and blackballed her everywhere.

I get the feeling she's the mean popular girl type. She also has brothers rather than sisters and is the adored girl in the family so she's probably a pick me type.

I really hope you are a 20-year-old typing this, PP.
Otherwise, you are much too old to be speaking this way about a young girl.

Sadly, I feel certain you are an adult (use of the word “blackballed” isn’t common among the younger set who probably has no context for that), but to use the phrase “pick me” type is just gross.

I don’t understand the anger. Pp was just being frank about the girl. It doesn’t help the discussion if every anecdote is about a wonderful kid who either got in one or got screwed over by the system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

Each school is different. Some guarantee that you will get a bid, while others do not. What school is she going to?

I've never heard of a school guaranteeing a bid? Which ones?

Tufts used to guarantee bids, last I checked (2018-ish)

All NPC sororities have “guaranteed placement” but that doesn’t mean what you think it does.
It means that if à participant goes through the process and maximizes her options every day (e.g., ranks the houses according to her preference and then continues to go to the houses she is invited back to at every round), then on the LAST night, if she is invited to and attends preference parties at one or two houses, she is guaranteed to be placed in one of those two houses on bid day. In other words, if you go to pref—you are guaranteed to be placed in a house on bid day….thus “guaranteed placement” policy.

This does NOT mean that any house is forced to keep inviting you prior to preference. In fact, every single house can “cut”/drop someone from their invitation list at any time for any unspecified reason (though all NPC groups have non-discrimination clauses, so it won’t be for a protected class reason) during the week. So it’s not super common, but it does happen that girls won’t receive any invitations at all.

But if a house chooses to invite someone to the LAST night (preference night), they must agree to put you on their bid list. You might be dead last in the list, but if they invite you to pref, you are ON the list so they are inviting you knowing that you could show up as a new member the next day.

And if you might be down to one house before pref night in which case your choice is a house you may not want or dropping out.

Yes definitely true.
But at that point it’s still a guaranteed placement.
You can still decide not to be placed, but then you have to accept that it’s you deciding you are too good for a house that wanted you. So….that’s kind of on you, right??

“Guaranteed placement “ means you’re guaranteed a bid from the house with the least interest. From the house that’s struggling to keep its numbers up. From the house that needs the administration to fix the numbers so that more girls end up with this “choice” because they picked the wrong house when they decided to add another one to the campus.

Newsflash:
NPC Sororities are big business.
The egalitarian approach exists because all of NPC knows that for every 2-3 campuses where they have a number one rushing chapter, they have a struggling chapter on another campus that they want to save.
And more importantly, they know that if they just sit back and watch while low-recruiting chapters struggle and close, it’s only a matter of time before their own mid-rushing chapter becomes the one on the bottom. These are very savvy and bright women running this system, and they know that this only works if NPC works together to support each other and build each other up.