Did anyone's kids NOT get into a frat or sorority - one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

Well to be fair the majority are shocked and caught off guard bc growing up in school they were popular and didn’t have any issues getting on teams or elected to some club office, and are used to being the center of a group’s attention. They have no experience with rejection that is based on looks and personality.

[Anonymous]

In one of my daughter's classes, she befriended a fellow student encouraged her to rush her sorority. Halfway through, she decided it wasn't for her so she pulled out. The majority of her friends weren't involved in Greek life and she is also on the soccer team. The person who encouraged her to rush will no longer talk to her. She has no regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In one of my daughter's classes, she befriended a fellow student encouraged her to rush her sorority. Halfway through, she decided it wasn't for her so she pulled out. The majority of her friends weren't involved in Greek life and she is also on the soccer team. The person who encouraged her to rush will no longer talk to her. She has no regrets.

+1. This, in a nutshell. Well done to your daughter - she seems like a truly independent and interesting young lady. Well done to you for your positive example, no doubt.

[Anonymous]

Do people really think you are a "god" on campus to anyone but the other "gods" in our own little world?

Sadly frats do seem to have real networking benefits for Wall Street jobs from certain schools, but I don't see any future benefits from sorority membership. I always find it odd when i get a resume that has 1/4 of the page dedicated to sorority stuff

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do people really think you are a "god" on campus to anyone but the other "gods" in our own little world?

Sadly frats do seem to have real networking benefits for Wall Street jobs from certain schools, but I don't see any future benefits from sorority membership. I always find it odd when i get a resume that has 1/4 of the page dedicated to sorority stuff

I find Greek life people to be stunted, in general - and tend to steer away from them. If you are an outgoing person, you don't need Greek life to get by, PP.

[Anonymous]

I know several girls who had sorority coaches for rush at SMU and TCU. Cost more than college admissions counselors.

At Wisconsin, the Frats I understand are extremely biased against OOS East and West Coast students with a few exceptions.

For my DS, never thought they’d join a fraternity and did Spring rush at a school with a large Greek presence and a lot of students who end up on Wall Street. Ended up joining with a few friends and is happy they did.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several girls who had sorority coaches for rush at SMU and TCU. Cost more than college admissions counselors.

At Wisconsin, the Frats I understand are extremely biased against OOS East and West Coast students with a few exceptions.

For my DS, never thought they’d join a fraternity and did Spring rush at a school with a large Greek presence and a lot of students who end up on Wall Street. Ended up joining with a few friends and is happy they did.

Interesting about Wisconsin. So most take Chicago people and in state of Minnesota? Is that really true? The Jewish frats take OOS east but I'm sure they run out of spots

[Anonymous]

There is nothing wrong with going into the Greek college experience. Do it or don't... there is no need to denigrate those that do. It is a big world and there is a place for all kinds.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I know several girls who had sorority coaches for rush at SMU and TCU. Cost more than college admissions counselors.

At Wisconsin, the Frats I understand are extremely biased against OOS East and West Coast students with a few exceptions.

For my DS, never thought they’d join a fraternity and did Spring rush at a school with a large Greek presence and a lot of students who end up on Wall Street. Ended up joining with a few friends and is happy they did.

Bucknell?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I know several girls who had sorority coaches for rush at SMU and TCU. Cost more than college admissions counselors.

At Wisconsin, the Frats I understand are extremely biased against OOS East and West Coast students with a few exceptions.

For my DS, never thought they’d join a fraternity and did Spring rush at a school with a large Greek presence and a lot of students who end up on Wall Street. Ended up joining with a few friends and is happy they did.

Interesting about Wisconsin. So most take Chicago people and in state of Minnesota? Is that really true? The Jewish frats take OOS east but I'm sure they run out of spots

Anyone?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

Well to be fair the majority are shocked and caught off guard bc growing up in school they were popular and didn’t have any issues getting on teams or elected to some club office, and are used to being the center of a group’s attention. They have no experience with rejection that is based on looks and personality.

I find it hard to believe that a girl who is "used to being the center of a group's attention" does NOT realize that sorority rush is based on looks and personality. The few girls who I know of that did not "get a bid", either had their heart set on the tippy-top houses or had low social IQ. These girls could have gotten bids if they were willing to accept "lower tier" houses.

I do an internal eye roll when moms tell me how "unfair" the sorority rush process is when their awkward daughters are cut from the "best house" and offered a bid at a house where it's "not their people". Actually, YES, these are "her" people - they picked your DD because they thought she would fit in. I say this as someone who was perfectly happy in a "lower tier" house.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

Well to be fair the majority are shocked and caught off guard bc growing up in school they were popular and didn’t have any issues getting on teams or elected to some club office, and are used to being the center of a group’s attention. They have no experience with rejection that is based on looks and personality.

I find it hard to believe that a girl who is "used to being the center of a group's attention" does NOT realize that sorority rush is based on looks and personality. The few girls who I know of that did not "get a bid", either had their heart set on the tippy-top houses or had low social IQ. These girls could have gotten bids if they were willing to accept "lower tier" houses.

I do an internal eye roll when moms tell me how "unfair" the sorority rush process is when their awkward daughters are cut from the "best house" and offered a bid at a house where it's "not their people". Actually, YES, these are "her" people - they picked your DD because they thought she would fit in. I say this as someone who was perfectly happy in a "lower tier" house.

Your one experience doesn’t make you a know it all about every schools’s rush or every girl’s experience. You sound insufferable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do people really think you are a "god" on campus to anyone but the other "gods" in our own little world?

Sadly frats do seem to have real networking benefits for Wall Street jobs from certain schools, but I don't see any future benefits from sorority membership. I always find it odd when i get a resume that has 1/4 of the page dedicated to sorority stuff

I find Greek life people to be stunted, in general - and tend to steer away from them. If you are an outgoing person, you don't need Greek life to get by, PP.

The stunted ones are the geeds on this board who clearly still harbor resentment over not getting a bid. That's why they denigrate Greek life every chance they get.

[Anonymous]

This is all crazy. How do they get bids if so many kids rush?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I will never stop being amazed that there are girls and their parents out there who are so disappointed, hurt, shocked, etc., when they are “excluded” from an organization that is deliberately and literally exclusive.

Ohhhh nooo, you wanted to be part of the cool girls who gatekeep and don’t let everyone in? And they didn’t let you be a part of them? And now you don’t have the power to gatekeep and exclude, and being excluded makes you sad? Got it.

Well to be fair the majority are shocked and caught off guard bc growing up in school they were popular and didn’t have any issues getting on teams or elected to some club office, and are used to being the center of a group’s attention. They have no experience with rejection that is based on looks and personality.

I find it hard to believe that a girl who is "used to being the center of a group's attention" does NOT realize that sorority rush is based on looks and personality. The few girls who I know of that did not "get a bid", either had their heart set on the tippy-top houses or had low social IQ. These girls could have gotten bids if they were willing to accept "lower tier" houses.

I do an internal eye roll when moms tell me how "unfair" the sorority rush process is when their awkward daughters are cut from the "best house" and offered a bid at a house where it's "not their people". Actually, YES, these are "her" people - they picked your DD because they thought she would fit in. I say this as someone who was perfectly happy in a "lower tier" house.

Your one experience doesn’t make you a know it all about every schools’s rush or every girl’s experience. You sound insufferable.

The PP is 100% correct, and what she said applies to frats, too. My college had three top-tier fraternities. What they were looking for in a rushee was very specific in terms of money, style, upbringing, and so on, and I didn't have it. So I ended up pledging a middle-tier house. Those were my people. If we'd found each other organically, we would have made fast friends -- but that probably wouldn't have happened without the Greek system and the rushing/pledging process, a fact that the Greek-haters on this board often overlook. And yes, when it comes to the coeds, I still pulled my share. Frat is frat. I wouldn't change a thing.