Did anyone's kids NOT get into a frat or sorority - one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, I went to Syracuse in the bad old '80s, back in the day of circling fat and putting pledges in car trunks. I got cut from the "best" houses, and I wasn't completely comfortable with the process anyway, so I quit after a couple of rounds of rush.

Sorry Syracuse grad and this never happened. I was in a popular house in late 80s and no one circled fat or put on cars. You are relying on urban myth. FYI a lot of girls who dropped would speak this nonsense. Syracuse was a schools where everyone gets a bid unless they only choose one house. Very inclusive.

One of my favorite thing all frat alum do is deny as much as possible things that likely happened, but they don't like to talk about it. My alma mater has frat alum who talk about how amazing and inclusive their frat was in the 80s when, if any person of color tried getting in, they had to go down to the basement of the house, and have the frat guys sing racist songs and sing along to show they are "one of them." One of the frats would literally have a day dedicated to running with scales over to sorority row and weigh all the girls. But, you know what those frat and sorority girls say about the experience? Just lovely, a great place to meet philanthropy minded people.

DP.

[Anonymous]

OP this happens all the time. My DD went into rush with high hopes and was cut by all but the least popular chapters. We still don't really understand why, other than she had a tough first semester and her GPA was not great (but still over 3.0). She ended up sticking it out because one of the chapters did interest her as she liked the people she met, but it was very heartbreaking. Just the first of alot of disappointments that come with going to a competitive college. She is moving in this month to a house with 8 other sorority sisters for her senior year and is very happy with how it all worked out in the end. now that she knows the other houses more, she knows she would not have liked any other better than the one she got into.

[Anonymous]

"cut by all but the least popular..."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, I went to Syracuse in the bad old '80s, back in the day of circling fat and putting pledges in car trunks. I got cut from the "best" houses, and I wasn't completely comfortable with the process anyway, so I quit after a couple of rounds of rush.

Sorry Syracuse grad and this never happened. I was in a popular house in late 80s and no one circled fat or put on cars. You are relying on urban myth. FYI a lot of girls who dropped would speak this nonsense. Syracuse was a schools where everyone gets a bid unless they only choose one house. Very inclusive.

One of my favorite thing all frat alum do is deny as much as possible things that likely happened, but they don't like to talk about it. My alma mater has frat alum who talk about how amazing and inclusive their frat was in the 80s when, if any person of color tried getting in, they had to go down to the basement of the house, and have the frat guys sing racist songs and sing along to show they are "one of them." One of the frats would literally have a day dedicated to running with scales over to sorority row and weigh all the girls. But, you know what those frat and sorority girls say about the experience? Just lovely, a great place to meet philanthropy minded people.

DP.

No idea on frats but Syracuse sororities did not haze in the late 80s. There were always runouts like sitting on a dryer if too fat or circling fat but it never ever happened and usually was disgruntled students who didn’t like sororities. I was on rush committee and it was so strict with Panhellenic at Syracuse. A sister couldn’t even ask a pledge (now not called pledges) to carry their books let alone anything drinking related. There was also an opportunity for everyone to get a bid but some girls didn’t like final options so they dropped. I am assuming it is even stricter today as it should be. No one should be hazed and there should be no forced drinking at sororities or fraternities

[Anonymous]

rumors nit runouts

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

My daughter dropped out of rush at the end. She was only left with 2 sororities that were basically weird or nerdy girls. Not her vibe. Sorry, but that is the truth.

The sororities choose girls that will fit in, they are all like clones of each other. The two who liked your daughter saw her as a perfect fit. So she is either nerdy or weird or your daughter got it wrong and they are filled with girls she would have a great time with.

[Anonymous]

What percent of spots are sewn up in advance over summer? ie “dirty rush”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, I went to Syracuse in the bad old '80s, back in the day of circling fat and putting pledges in car trunks. I got cut from the "best" houses, and I wasn't completely comfortable with the process anyway, so I quit after a couple of rounds of rush.

Sorry Syracuse grad and this never happened. I was in a popular house in late 80s and no one circled fat or put on cars. You are relying on urban myth. FYI a lot of girls who dropped would speak this nonsense. Syracuse was a schools where everyone gets a bid unless they only choose one house. Very inclusive.

One of my favorite thing all frat alum do is deny as much as possible things that likely happened, but they don't like to talk about it. My alma mater has frat alum who talk about how amazing and inclusive their frat was in the 80s when, if any person of color tried getting in, they had to go down to the basement of the house, and have the frat guys sing racist songs and sing along to show they are "one of them." One of the frats would literally have a day dedicated to running with scales over to sorority row and weigh all the girls. But, you know what those frat and sorority girls say about the experience? Just lovely, a great place to meet philanthropy minded people.

DP.

No idea on frats but Syracuse sororities did not haze in the late 80s. There were always runouts like sitting on a dryer if too fat or circling fat but it never ever happened and usually was disgruntled students who didn’t like sororities. I was on rush committee and it was so strict with Panhellenic at Syracuse. A sister couldn’t even ask a pledge (now not called pledges) to carry their books let alone anything drinking related. There was also an opportunity for everyone to get a bid but some girls didn’t like final options so they dropped. I am assuming it is even stricter today as it should be. No one should be hazed and there should be no forced drinking at sororities or fraternities

Syracuse grad here- '90

No hazing in my Gamma Phi Beta sorority. Loved it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:LOL, I went to Syracuse in the bad old '80s, back in the day of circling fat and putting pledges in car trunks. I got cut from the "best" houses, and I wasn't completely comfortable with the process anyway, so I quit after a couple of rounds of rush.

Sorry Syracuse grad and this never happened. I was in a popular house in late 80s and no one circled fat or put on cars. You are relying on urban myth. FYI a lot of girls who dropped would speak this nonsense. Syracuse was a schools where everyone gets a bid unless they only choose one house. Very inclusive.

One of my favorite thing all frat alum do is deny as much as possible things that likely happened, but they don't like to talk about it. My alma mater has frat alum who talk about how amazing and inclusive their frat was in the 80s when, if any person of color tried getting in, they had to go down to the basement of the house, and have the frat guys sing racist songs and sing along to show they are "one of them." One of the frats would literally have a day dedicated to running with scales over to sorority row and weigh all the girls. But, you know what those frat and sorority girls say about the experience? Just lovely, a great place to meet philanthropy minded people.

DP.

+1 It's a cult. All the bad gets sanitized.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’m so glad that my kids rejected any school with an active Greek life. In 2024, frats and sororities just seem so passé. Paying to have friends, following silly rules in the hope of being “chosen”, surrounding yourself with people just like you? College is the time to expose yourself to new people and ideas, to challenge your beliefs, and grow - not merely reinforce archaic social structures.

100%

Paying to have friends is embarrassing to gen z, according to my DD.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

It’s like going back in time for some of these Southern sororities. Sexism like it’s 1950. Females cannot have men in their bedrooms but fraternities can. Females have to be dressed appropriately with hair and makeup and they are very picky about what makeup you can and can’t use. Pink nail polish . Sororities cannot have parties in their house with alcohol without joining up with a fraternity.

I can’t imagine following silly rules and regulations after finally getting some freedom. The fraternities and sororities segregate the school into mini campuses unrelated to each other.

My daughter told me that at her school the sorority girls clean the fraternity houses. Big nope for me! Why would we teach young men that women are their cooking and cleaning servants? We worked so hard to get away from that stereotype!

Time has stood still at some of these mostly big Southern Universities fraternities in places like Alabama, Mississippi, Florida.

This from the NIH. “A total of 29% of sorority women reported having been sexually assaulted while in college, four times the rate (7%) among nonsorority members.”

https://pubmed.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/19458092/

yikes, that's horrible

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

My daughter dropped out of rush at the end. She was only left with 2 sororities that were basically weird or nerdy girls. Not her vibe. Sorry, but that is the truth.

The sororities choose girls that will fit in, they are all like clones of each other. The two who liked your daughter saw her as a perfect fit. So she is either nerdy or weird or your daughter got it wrong and they are filled with girls she would have a great time with.

THIS! Both PP and her daughter are mis-reading the daughter and how people see her and how she actually is. Both mom and daughter are filled with self-hate (daughter) and likely disproval by mom.

[Anonymous]

But if you want access to the best parties, the best girls, and the best networking opportunities (particularly in majors like business and finance), you need to be in a frat.

I suspect you won't believe me, but I used to work at 2 different financial companies--big ones. There were people who automatically dinged every resume that included frat membership. I'm sure that there were others who saw it as a plus, but not everyone does.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. Hasn't happened yet but worrying ahead of time because rush happens quickly and over summer. Seems a very stressful start to school. Didn't think it all through.

It happened to my DD. It was painful to feel rejected (major tears, and she wanted to come home from school), but she got through it and found a group of friends in her dorm that she hung out with. She ended up going to all the frat parties anyway, and had a blast.

[Anonymous]

Listen to “Snapped- the podcast”.