Did anyone's kids NOT get into a frat or sorority - one

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

My daughter dropped out of rush at the end. She was only left with 2 sororities that were basically weird or nerdy girls. Not her vibe. Sorry, but that is the truth.

And there’s a big difference between “not her vibe” and “I only want a popular house”.

The assumptions these people make about girls like yours is always a mean girl approach instead.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I heard that happens often at Indiana- though I don't know how to quantify often. My dd will be a freshman there next year and that is something that has come up. Luckily rush is not until second semester, but I do worry about how that scenario could impact her freshman experience.

So based on my extremely limited heresay, I'd say it happens frequently.

I heard same about Indiana! But I do love that it's spring rush.

I also love the concept of spring rush. IMO there should not be fall rush for freshman. They should be allowed to explore their interests, actually meet people on their own, get settled in academics (it is college after all), and then once they have forged a path, decide if rushing is the right thing for them.

I attended a Big 10 school that used to do Rush starting during new student week freshman year. So you started rush 2 days after arriving on campus, before you'd even sat in a class at college or had the chance to really make any friends (it was day 3 that rush started). I was happy when they switched it a few years later to spring rush.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Happened to a nephew at Big South University and likely because he was out of state and not hyper/local. Top fraternities are for in-staters only. My brother (his dad) was shocked as we attended same SLAC w/o Greek system.

I don't think it's a south thing. Wisconsin has a few Jewish/East coast ones and then a bunch are mostly for local/chicago or in-state. Just as an example. Similar at Indiana per PP

Very similar at Michigan.

So if you don't get into the Jewish ones (assuming you're Jewish) then choices are limited?

My DD is in the Jewish sorority and we are wasps. I think it is 60% Jewish. It is one of the top sororities at her school and she is having a good time.

I went to a big, well known ACC school with a decent size (but not super huge like an SEC school) Greek system and was in a top 3 sorority and we had many Jewish women in our sorority. Your religion was a non factor for our sorority. It seemed more relevant for frats as there were a few Jewish frats at the time. If I really think about it, we probably were 1/3 Jewish at the sorority in the 90s.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

This.
Very common.

This is much more common than every single house collectively choosing not to issue an invitation to the same girl.
Far more likely that the girl made up her mind what house she wanted and then was devastated when they didn’t invite her back, and didn’t feel like giving the other groups that did want her a chance to win her over.

Again with this. So rude.

Houses pick girls: “that’s the way it works!”

Girls pick houses “ she’s so entitled and only wanted one popular house” (despite zero evidence)

My daughter dropped out of rush at the end. She was only left with 2 sororities that were basically weird or nerdy girls. Not her vibe. Sorry, but that is the truth.

Was she still happy? Can she rush again as a sophomore?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Sororities and fraternities are not needed for a successful path through college and beyond.

Sorry you didn't get a bid, geed.

Funny how you think anyone not in the Greek system would take this as any kind of insult.
Not everyone on this thread is one of your rejects.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Sororities and fraternities are not needed for a successful path through college and beyond.

Sorry you didn't get a bid, geed.

Funny how you think anyone not in the Greek system would take this as any kind of insult.
Not everyone on this thread is one of your rejects.

+1 Time to grow up and ask why it is more important to you than your teens???

Speaks volumes about your stunted growth.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Sororities and fraternities are not needed for a successful path through college and beyond.

Sorry you didn't get a bid, geed.

Funny how you think anyone not in the Greek system would take this as any kind of insult.
Not everyone on this thread is one of your rejects.

+1 Time to grow up and ask why it is more important to you than your teens???

Speaks volumes about your stunted growth.

That poster probably IS a teenager. This is a parent site but it’s open to anyone and we get plenty of teen trolls here. Several posts here sound like they were written by college kids.

[Anonymous]

I have heard it can happen at the big southern schools where sorority rush requires letters of recommendation and legacy status. I went to a small Midwestern university with a high Greek participation rate and everyone who rushes will get in somewhere.

I think it is really easy during rush to get caught up in the hype and feel like you MUST match somewhere. Rushees were highly discouraged from “suiciding” or picking only one house. I ranked 2 and luckily got my top choice.

In hindsight, Greek life is a big commitment. I would encourage my kids to only rank houses they really connected with and could see themselves joining - even if it means potentially being shut out. I would not want my kid to “make do” with house that’s not a good fit when there are so many non-Greek ways to build a strong social network and community on most campuses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have heard it can happen at the big southern schools where sorority rush requires letters of recommendation and legacy status. I went to a small Midwestern university with a high Greek participation rate and everyone who rushes will get in somewhere.

I think it is really easy during rush to get caught up in the hype and feel like you MUST match somewhere. Rushees were highly discouraged from “suiciding” or picking only one house. I ranked 2 and luckily got my top choice.

In hindsight, Greek life is a big commitment. I would encourage my kids to only rank houses they really connected with and could see themselves joining - even if it means potentially being shut out. I would not want my kid to “make do” with house that’s not a good fit when there are so many non-Greek ways to build a strong social network and community on most campuses.

Agree 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Who cares? Sororities and fraternities are not needed for a successful path through college and beyond.

Sorry you didn't get a bid, geed.

Funny how you think anyone not in the Greek system would take this as any kind of insult.
Not everyone on this thread is one of your rejects.

+1 Time to grow up and ask why it is more important to you than your teens???

Speaks volumes about your stunted growth.

That poster probably IS a teenager. This is a parent site but it’s open to anyone and we get plenty of teen trolls here. Several posts here sound like they were written by college kids.

More like middle school kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sometimes girls will say they didn’t get in anywhere but they just mean they didn’t get into as popular of a sorority as they wanted and dropped rush instead

Or sometimes it means they just got down to one they didn’t feel was a good fit. Try not taking a mean girl approach to your hypothetical reasons other people do things.

They don’t know it’s a good fit or not, it’s just not cool enough.

The entire point of rush week is getting to know each other and choosing girls with snap judgments like speed dating. If a house can drop you why isn’t it ok for the girls to do the same? Two way street.

It usually is a 2 way street after the first round because you can only go back to so many houses so you rank your top choices. After that, you get narrowed down and go to fewer houses each round. You can rank choices as a rushee, but you can’t / shouldn’t cut.

I went to a school that guaranteed a bid for everyone, but that meant you had to accept the maximum number of invites each round and rank as many houses as allowed each round. If you get to the last round and you only put 1 house on your bid card and that house doesn’t rank you within their quota, there is nothing PHC can do.

At my school each house could get our portion of the rush class during formal rush 2nd semester freshman year - # rushees / # of houses.
Panhellenic would set a house cap number and during informal rush we could extend bids to sophomores and juniors who didn’t join or didn’t rush. Spots would occasionally open up when people transferred, dropped out, or quit. If you had a high acceptance rate and a big formal class, you might be over cap and any loss would just bring you closer to cap. You only could have informal bids if losses brought you under cap.

[Anonymous]

Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

Are you in study hall? This is a parent site.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Greek life sounds like a nightmare for 18 year olds. It's baffling that it still persists.

Let me guess: You didn't get a bid. That's OK, but don't pretend the frat gods don't run most campuses. Being the coolest guys on campus and getting the best-looking girls is far from a "nightmare."

DP here. Are you actually feeding this crap to your kids?

If your kid is outgoing, they will be fine. If your kid needs "built in friends", I don't know what to tell you.