Caught between two men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

They probably had a chat with her ex and decided both she wasn’t worth it. Plus the guy is ballistic - no surprise

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

Maybe he reads DCUM

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seeing a guy for 4 months. I’ve been enjoying getting to know him and I was excited for what could be. Today I randomly got a text from my ex-bf that he was moving back and would love to reconnect.

Ex backstory: We were together for 2.5 years. I planned on marrying him. He got a job offered within his company for a promotion and he took it. We tried to make long distance work but I ended it after 6 months apart. His job would eventually move him back but there was never a concrete timeline. He didn’t want to get married/have kids until we both lived in the same state again. I ultimately decided timing wasn’t on his side and that we needed to move on. I didn’t want to wait up to 3 years. The break up was very hard and we I eventually broke contact completely to move on.

New guy: I met him 5 months after breaking up with my ex. We were set up by friends. It’s been going really well but still very early.

I haven’t replied to my ex yet or I should. Moving on from him was incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure if I could ever go through that again. I also deep down never stopped loving him. The new guy I like too and I can see myself falling in love with him. He’s also very aligned with my timeline and we have a lot of fun together. I didn’t think I would find anyone else after my ex until I met him.

You met him within FIVE MONTHS. It's not like it was five years. It seems your ex was indeed relatively easy to replace. That ought to tell you something.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

OP here. I didn’t want to hide anything so I told him I want with my ex to close that chapter. He said I cheated for even meeting him and he doesn’t trust me. He blocked me on everything.

[Anonymous]

Neither. If this new relationship were so great you wouldn’t entertain your ex.

Your ex is your ex for a reason.

Don’t waste more time!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

OP here. I didn’t want to hide anything so I told him I want with my ex to close that chapter. He said I cheated for even meeting him and he doesn’t trust me. He blocked me on everything.

Why on Earth did you tell him anything? Did you really want to get back with your ex and so you told him to clear the path?

You should have kept dating the new guy AND kept talking with the ex. Don't tell them about each other. See how it feels with them, and then choose the one you want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Haha

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

OP here. I didn’t want to hide anything so I told him I want with my ex to close that chapter. He said I cheated for even meeting him and he doesn’t trust me. He blocked me on everything.

Why on Earth did you tell him anything? Did you really want to get back with your ex and so you told him to clear the path?

You should have kept dating the new guy AND kept talking with the ex. Don't tell them about each other. See how it feels with them, and then choose the one you want.

OP here. My new ex and I were exclusive. Why would I date him and still talk to my ex? That’s deceitful and cheating. I don’t cheat.

[Anonymous]

Op give it up. Stop trolling. Solid B effort.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

OP here. I didn’t want to hide anything so I told him I want with my ex to close that chapter. He said I cheated for even meeting him and he doesn’t trust me. He blocked me on everything.

Now you know why he’s 38 and single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say forget about the back story for a second.

What are the other good things about your ex? Who’s more kind? Even tempered? Stable? Emotionally intelligent? Good in a conflict? Better at communicating and problem solving?

You don’t really know the new guy yet.

Also both of them are a little late to not get married. What’s the deal with that?

OP here.

My ex is a better communicator and more even tempered. Nothing ever really gets him upset, and even when it does, he handles things calmly. We were able to resolve any fights or conflict we had very well.

Current bf is more stable in terms of being settled and ready for marriage/kids. He’s also a good communicator but not as even tempered. He doesn’t get mad often, but he can get angry when very upset. He still handles his emotions well.

Both are kind, have treated me well, respectful, good in bed ( ex is slightly better), faithful, etc.

Um, you’ve only been dating four months. What’s happened that you’ve seen him angry about?

+1 and how did it manifest? Please share. This is very relevant,

OP here.

One time one of his friends made a joke about sleeping with me ( over the line) while drunk and he got angry. He didn’t yell or scream but he was visibly pissed off and wanted to leave.

Another time someone cut him off him traffic and he screamed out of the window at them.

Nothing major but my ex was not like that. He never let much get him upset, and even when he was, he never showed outward anger.

Listen to an old lady who is getting divorced. Go with your ex. You sound like you’re over emphasizing the relationship timeline, not the person. That is NOT a good thing to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say forget about the back story for a second.

What are the other good things about your ex? Who’s more kind? Even tempered? Stable? Emotionally intelligent? Good in a conflict? Better at communicating and problem solving?

You don’t really know the new guy yet.

Also both of them are a little late to not get married. What’s the deal with that?

OP here.

My ex is a better communicator and more even tempered. Nothing ever really gets him upset, and even when it does, he handles things calmly. We were able to resolve any fights or conflict we had very well.

Current bf is more stable in terms of being settled and ready for marriage/kids. He’s also a good communicator but not as even tempered. He doesn’t get mad often, but he can get angry when very upset. He still handles his emotions well.

Both are kind, have treated me well, respectful, good in bed ( ex is slightly better), faithful, etc.

Um, you’ve only been dating four months. What’s happened that you’ve seen him angry about?

+1 and how did it manifest? Please share. This is very relevant,

OP here.

One time one of his friends made a joke about sleeping with me ( over the line) while drunk and he got angry. He didn’t yell or scream but he was visibly pissed off and wanted to leave.

Another time someone cut him off him traffic and he screamed out of the window at them.

Nothing major but my ex was not like that. He never let much get him upset, and even when he was, he never showed outward anger.

Listen to an old lady who is getting divorced. Go with your ex. You sound like you’re over emphasizing the relationship timeline, not the person. That is NOT a good thing to do.

Too late; she booted the ex, then the new BF dumped her.

Absolutely correct, though, that all along she's been focused on timelines and finding a husband and baby daddy on her schedule.

OP, take a break from all dating and get your head together. You are seeing a timeline, not individual people. And neither of these men was that into you, nor were you as into them as you want to convince yourself you were. You need to cool your jets, stop dating, and do some serious consideration of what mature relationships and love really are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP here. My current bf broke up with me. So now I’m single.

Why?

OP here. I didn’t want to hide anything so I told him I want with my ex to close that chapter. He said I cheated for even meeting him and he doesn’t trust me. He blocked me on everything.

You are really stupid.

Also, you barely knew the guy dating months.
You should not have met your ex either unless you were willing to give him another chance but more so it sounds like he really loved you and you were choosing him over a guy you barely knew. 4 months is nothing. And you should not have told him you met your ex.

You need to grow up. You don’t deserve the ex you were with for years.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say forget about the back story for a second.

What are the other good things about your ex? Who’s more kind? Even tempered? Stable? Emotionally intelligent? Good in a conflict? Better at communicating and problem solving?

You don’t really know the new guy yet.

Also both of them are a little late to not get married. What’s the deal with that?

OP here.

My ex is a better communicator and more even tempered. Nothing ever really gets him upset, and even when it does, he handles things calmly. We were able to resolve any fights or conflict we had very well.

Current bf is more stable in terms of being settled and ready for marriage/kids. He’s also a good communicator but not as even tempered. He doesn’t get mad often, but he can get angry when very upset. He still handles his emotions well.

Both are kind, have treated me well, respectful, good in bed ( ex is slightly better), faithful, etc.

Um, you’ve only been dating four months. What’s happened that you’ve seen him angry about?

+1 and how did it manifest? Please share. This is very relevant,

OP here.

One time one of his friends made a joke about sleeping with me ( over the line) while drunk and he got angry. He didn’t yell or scream but he was visibly pissed off and wanted to leave.

Another time someone cut him off him traffic and he screamed out of the window at them.

Nothing major but my ex was not like that. He never let much get him upset, and even when he was, he never showed outward anger.

Listen to an old lady who is getting divorced. Go with your ex. You sound like you’re over emphasizing the relationship timeline, not the person. That is NOT a good thing to do.

Too late; she booted the ex, then the new BF dumped her.

Absolutely correct, though, that all along she's been focused on timelines and finding a husband and baby daddy on her schedule.

OP, take a break from all dating and get your head together. You are seeing a timeline, not individual people. And neither of these men was that into you, nor were you as into them as you want to convince yourself you were. You need to cool your jets, stop dating, and do some serious consideration of what mature relationships and love really are.

I actually think first ex was really into her, but OP threw it away for her timeline. She; 's also lucky her most recent ex showed his true colors and that's the problem with being overly committed to timelines OP, it can led you astray.

[Anonymous]

OP here. I met my ex for dinner tonight. We are going to give our relationship another chance.

I’m still in love with my ex and I just didn’t want to admit that to myself. Moving on was incredibly hard. The new ex was a nice guy but I just didn’t feel super into him. I didn’t meet my ex the first time to hurt him. I genuinely wanted to see him. I feel like I’ve been trying to convince myself that I didn’t love my ex so that I could move on.