Caught between two men

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I met my ex for lunch today. I told him I wanted to give him the courtesy to meet but that I’m not currently single. He was surprised and said he hadn’t moved on or been with anyone since we broke up. He did try for months to get me back. He was still hoping I would reconsider our break up. He was supposed to stay there for another year but he asked to move back early.

For now I’m going to see how things go with my current bf. I told my ex I felt it was best that we move on. He was very hurt and my heart is broken for him.

Did your BF know about this meetup? Sounds like a tough situation.

[Anonymous]

Good for you OP.

His job won out over you. If a guy wanted to be with you long term he would have found a way to make it work.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP here. I met my ex for lunch today. I told him I wanted to give him the courtesy to meet but that I’m not currently single. He was surprised and said he hadn’t moved on or been with anyone since we broke up. He did try for months to get me back. He was still hoping I would reconsider our break up. He was supposed to stay there for another year but he asked to move back early.

For now I’m going to see how things go with my current bf. I told my ex I felt it was best that we move on. He was very hurt and my heart is broken for him.

Completely different from what you originally wrote. I stand my original diagnosis of you as a drama queen your ex will be well rid of you and I pity the new guy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you made a terrible choice, OP. One you will regret for sure.

OP is likely lying about all of this so don't worry too much.

[Anonymous]

Ooh if anyone told me they were meeting me as a courtesy, I’d pay the bill as a courtesy and leave right then and there. Sheesh, OP.

[Anonymous]

Examine their family medical history and financial health. Those are what matters. Pick the one without problematic physical/mental issues that can be transmitted to kids, and the one who is most likely to lead to a stable economic future.

[Anonymous]

He tried to get you back for months? This is new info. You are the problem. You should not have met up with him at all. You are awful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Examine their family medical history and financial health. Those are what matters. Pick the one without problematic physical/mental issues that can be transmitted to kids, and the one who is most likely to lead to a stable economic future.

I know this sounds really bad...sorry..but how about their penis size? Similar?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ve been seeing a guy for 4 months. I’ve been enjoying getting to know him and I was excited for what could be. Today I randomly got a text from my ex-bf that he was moving back and would love to reconnect.

Ex backstory: We were together for 2.5 years. I planned on marrying him. He got a job offered within his company for a promotion and he took it. We tried to make long distance work but I ended it after 6 months apart. His job would eventually move him back but there was never a concrete timeline. He didn’t want to get married/have kids until we both lived in the same state again. I ultimately decided timing wasn’t on his side and that we needed to move on. I didn’t want to wait up to 3 years. The break up was very hard and we I eventually broke contact completely to move on.

New guy: I met him 5 months after breaking up with my ex. We were set up by friends. It’s been going really well but still very early.

I haven’t replied to my ex yet or I should. Moving on from him was incredibly difficult, and I’m not sure if I could ever go through that again. I also deep down never stopped loving him. The new guy I like too and I can see myself falling in love with him. He’s also very aligned with my timeline and we have a lot of fun together. I didn’t think I would find anyone else after my ex until I met him.

You don't love this man and you are never going to love this man.
You're going to do what many women do at your age, marry the guy they are with so they can say they have a husband and be mom.

Then 10 years in you;ll be on here talking about how you don't really love him, and you're just together for the kids.

Then at that time or add another 5 years you'll be asking if it's okay to meet up with your ex for coffee, it's no big deal because you're both married with kids, and it's just cofee.

OP said they have only been dating for 4 months. That’s really early to be in love for most people.

It's plenty of time to find out if you're head over heels. It's probably just about enough time to know if it's an "I can make this work" relationship - that could even last for the long haul.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:He tried to get you back for months? This is new info. You are the problem. You should not have met up with him at all. You are awful.

OP here. I didn’t think that was super relevant. I ended the relationship. He made a number of attempts to get back with me but I had already made up just mind that point. I didn’t want to wait until he got home to start our lives together. I felt like there was no compromise and the sacrifice was all from me. It wasn’t an easy decision but I just couldn’t wait around for up to 3 years to get engaged/married/have kids. The way I looked at it was I was 31. If he was gone for 3 years, I would be 34. We get engaged and married at 35. Then he said he wanted to be married for a couple of years before we had kids. That would put having kids at 37/38. I don’t want to miss my chance at motherhood.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Examine their family medical history and financial health. Those are what matters. Pick the one without problematic physical/mental issues that can be transmitted to kids, and the one who is most likely to lead to a stable economic future.

I know this sounds really bad...sorry..but how about their penis size? Similar?

OP here. I don’t really care about penis size if I’m being honest. I just like too small or too big. Both are slightly above average.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Examine their family medical history and financial health. Those are what matters. Pick the one without problematic physical/mental issues that can be transmitted to kids, and the one who is most likely to lead to a stable economic future.

I know this sounds really bad...sorry..but how about their penis size? Similar?

If you start a sentence with 'I know this sounds really bad..." just stop there and don't finish the sentence. Yes, it does sound really bad PP, and you kind of suck.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He tried to get you back for months? This is new info. You are the problem. You should not have met up with him at all. You are awful.

OP here. I didn’t think that was super relevant. I ended the relationship. He made a number of attempts to get back with me but I had already made up just mind that point. I didn’t want to wait until he got home to start our lives together. I felt like there was no compromise and the sacrifice was all from me. It wasn’t an easy decision but I just couldn’t wait around for up to 3 years to get engaged/married/have kids. The way I looked at it was I was 31. If he was gone for 3 years, I would be 34. We get engaged and married at 35. Then he said he wanted to be married for a couple of years before we had kids. That would put having kids at 37/38. I don’t want to miss my chance at motherhood.

It was relevant and you know that so you deliberately took it out to get people on your side.

It was also cold of you to have coffee with him you could have simply texted him back saying thanks but no thanks.

But you wanted to get a kick in.

You're just a mean spirited and dramatic person.

As someone else said He is better off without you and he will see what a blessing it is someday.

You however good luck being married to and raising kids with a man who has an anger problem

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would say forget about the back story for a second.

What are the other good things about your ex? Who’s more kind? Even tempered? Stable? Emotionally intelligent? Good in a conflict? Better at communicating and problem solving?

You don’t really know the new guy yet.

Also both of them are a little late to not get married. What’s the deal with that?

OP here.

My ex is a better communicator and more even tempered. Nothing ever really gets him upset, and even when it does, he handles things calmly. We were able to resolve any fights or conflict we had very well.

Current bf is more stable in terms of being settled and ready for marriage/kids. He’s also a good communicator but not as even tempered. He doesn’t get mad often, but he can get angry when very upset. He still handles his emotions well.

Both are kind, have treated me well, respectful, good in bed ( ex is slightly better), faithful, etc.

Um, you’ve only been dating four months. What’s happened that you’ve seen him angry about?

+1 and how did it manifest? Please share. This is very relevant,

OP here.

One time one of his friends made a joke about sleeping with me ( over the line) while drunk and he got angry. He didn’t yell or scream but he was visibly pissed off and wanted to leave.

Another time someone cut him off him traffic and he screamed out of the window at them.

Nothing major but my ex was not like that. He never let much get him upset, and even when he was, he never showed outward anger.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:He tried to get you back for months? This is new info. You are the problem. You should not have met up with him at all. You are awful.

OP here. I didn’t think that was super relevant. I ended the relationship. He made a number of attempts to get back with me but I had already made up just mind that point. I didn’t want to wait until he got home to start our lives together. I felt like there was no compromise and the sacrifice was all from me. It wasn’t an easy decision but I just couldn’t wait around for up to 3 years to get engaged/married/have kids. The way I looked at it was I was 31. If he was gone for 3 years, I would be 34. We get engaged and married at 35. Then he said he wanted to be married for a couple of years before we had kids. That would put having kids at 37/38. I don’t want to miss my chance at motherhood.

It was relevant and you know that so you deliberately took it out to get people on your side.

It was also cold of you to have coffee with him you could have simply texted him back saying thanks but no thanks.

But you wanted to get a kick in.

You're just a mean spirited and dramatic person.

As someone else said He is better off without you and he will see what a blessing it is someday.

You however good luck being married to and raising kids with a man who has an anger problem

OP here. I’m not dramatic. It was honestly nice to see him and I felt it was better to do it in person than over text. I wanted to hear what he had to say because I still wasn't 100% sure of what I wanted to do.