4 y.o. niece is wonderful birth control. Tell sibling their kid is out of control?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Special needs. Not normal at any age.

+1. Judgemental and unhelpful family is one of the most heartbreaking things about having a special needs child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she has special needs? I’d say something, but consider if that might be the case.

If she has special needs, and her parents are aware, they would have been extra in tune to what she needed. If she wasn't handling being at the funeral well, one of them would have taken for her a walk. I don't know a single parent of a special needs child who is not on top of outside the norm behavior problems.

Then you don't know many parents of special needs children. Sometimes the children cannot tolerate the situation and you can't get a sitter. Should they not attend the funeral so you feel better?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Personally yes, I would have said something about how they should have removed their child from the funeral when she behaved in such a distracting way. The only exception I would make is if the parents were in so much grief that they weren’t able to function well and this was an exception to their usual parenting behavior.

Ok God.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally yes, I would have said something about how they should have removed their child from the funeral when she behaved in such a distracting way. The only exception I would make is if the parents were in so much grief that they weren’t able to function well and this was an exception to their usual parenting behavior.

Ok God.

It’s not about being holier than though, it’s about talking frankly to your own close family member. Sometimes you need to hear the truth from family when the rest of the world won’t call you out on it. You aren’t owed silence when you allow your child to disrupt a funeral.

[Anonymous]

^thou

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she has special needs? I’d say something, but consider if that might be the case.

If she has special needs, and her parents are aware, they would have been extra in tune to what she needed. If she wasn't handling being at the funeral well, one of them would have taken for her a walk. I don't know a single parent of a special needs child who is not on top of outside the norm behavior problems.

Then you don't know many parents of special needs children. Sometimes the children cannot tolerate the situation and you can't get a sitter. Should they not attend the funeral so you feel better?

They can attend, but like any parents, can’t ignore their kid. Stop making excuses and trying to shame people into accepting this. Good parents remove the kid as needed and come back when they are ready.

[Anonymous]

Okay, tell them she isn't invited to your funeral until her behavior improves.

[Anonymous]

You need to tell them. This behavior becomes common place and acceptable to them since no one calls them out on their bs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Kids can be very difficult and it is not always the parents’ fault…that said, the parents should be managing behavior in such a way that it doesn’t disrupt others (in this case, removing her from the service if she cannot behave reasonably).

This is the correct answer.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

Four is not a tough age.

It can be a horrible age, but that doesn’t excuse letting the kid hit people and disrupt the event. Some people are just shockingly permissive.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Personally yes, I would have said something about how they should have removed their child from the funeral when she behaved in such a distracting way. The only exception I would make is if the parents were in so much grief that they weren’t able to function well and this was an exception to their usual parenting behavior.

Ok God.

It’s not about being holier than though, it’s about talking frankly to your own close family member. Sometimes you need to hear the truth from family when the rest of the world won’t call you out on it. You aren’t owed silence when you allow your child to disrupt a funeral.

Just tell them to stay home forever. That's what will make you comfortable. Nevermind that they are trying to have their family be part of their larger family. How dare they!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

Four is not a tough age.

It can be a horrible age, but that doesn’t excuse letting the kid hit people and disrupt the event. Some people are just shockingly permissive.

You have an appalling lack of compassion.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Okay, tell them she isn't invited to your funeral until her behavior improves.

LOL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Maybe she has special needs? I’d say something, but consider if that might be the case.

If she has special needs, and her parents are aware, they would have been extra in tune to what she needed. If she wasn't handling being at the funeral well, one of them would have taken for her a walk. I don't know a single parent of a special needs child who is not on top of outside the norm behavior problems.

Then you don't know many parents of special needs children. Sometimes the children cannot tolerate the situation and you can't get a sitter. Should they not attend the funeral so you feel better?

They can attend, but like any parents, can’t ignore their kid. Stop making excuses and trying to shame people into accepting this. Good parents remove the kid as needed and come back when they are ready.

I think you don't know the whole story with this kid and you are shaming yourself.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

So your sister lost her mom and all you can do is talk about how awful her kid was at a funeral? Really?

I am going to assume you're grieving and therefore misplacing your grief into anger about this, but I'd leave your sister alone. If it happens again, bring it up then, but not right now.

I'm sorry for your loss.