4 y.o. niece is wonderful birth control. Tell sibling their kid is out of control?

[Anonymous]

She should not have been there. But the time to say something was in the moment. Someone should have asked her parents to take her outside. If you say something now about their parenting in general, YTA.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

Four is not a tough age.

+1 Generally a very sweet, wonderful age!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

I’m sorry for your loss of your mother.
The word is spelled “niece”.
Perhaps you are projecting and focusing on this to distract yourself from the grief of the loss of your mother. Wait 3 months to address this with others.
God bless, again, so sorry for your loss.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

I’m sorry for your loss of your mother.
The word is spelled “niece”.
Perhaps you are projecting and focusing on this to distract yourself from the grief of the loss of your mother. Wait 3 months to address this with others.
God bless, again, so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for pointing out the correct spelling. It was making me crazy and really makes me think less of OP.

[Anonymous]

My high-energy, very physical 2.5 yr old nephew who was jet-lagged and in a different time zone came to a funeral and my 16 yr old cousin sat him on a bench with her and they quietly played with rocks and sticks through the gravesite service.

Is it possible your niece is special needs? A 4 yr old should be capable of being quiet and understanding they can't throw a big fit. They should know to stay off the floor and they can NOT hit people in the face.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

Four is not a tough age.

+1 Generally a very sweet, wonderful age!

Not everyone has the same experience

I had angels at that age but some of their classmates, I swore they would be in jail when they grew up.
Fast forward to high school and many of those "hooligans" have mellowed out into wonderful kids whether by simple maturity, their parents' hard work or both.

[Anonymous]

Your sister knows she is a terror. She likely has tried to help with the resources she has and is struggling. Unless you’re going to offer childcare or to pay for and take her to therapies, don’t bring it up - what do you think it’ll do other than make your sister upset.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

I’m sorry for your loss of your mother.
The word is spelled “niece”.
Perhaps you are projecting and focusing on this to distract yourself from the grief of the loss of your mother. Wait 3 months to address this with others.
God bless, again, so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for pointing out the correct spelling. It was making me crazy and really makes me think less of OP.

It's spelled correctly in the title of the thread.

Imagine getting hung up on a simple transposition of letters on a social media platform. Lol, what a bunch of old loser cat ladies who probably sit around and do sentence diagrams for fun.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

I'm sorry for the loss of your mom, but your reaction here is pretty awful. Maybe you're displacing your grief into anger at this kid, but that's not okay. This kid acted out around you: she didn't do it at you.

1. Kid should not have been there. She does not understand death, has no concept of solemn events, and was some combo of tired, hungry, bored, and not getting any recent attention from her grieving mom.

2. I understand why your sister, who is at her own mom's funeral, did not step outside with her kid. It would have been nice if her spouse or anyone else had done so. But, kids are a part of life and part of the family so I can see the argument for just going with it: this wouldn't have been my choice, but it's in the realm of "different strokes" rather than parenting fails.

3. Ignoring attention-seeking behavior is a valid parenting strategy, and rolling around on the floor under chairs is doesn't have to be problem unless you make it one by trying to "hold her". Again, personally if it's my kid I'd walk her outside rather than ignore, but you seem to expect a 4 yo to sit at respectful attention which is foolish.

[Anonymous]

So your mom died and you have the emotional wherewithal to complain about your nieces behavior? This says more about you than anyone else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

Four is not a tough age.

+1 Generally a very sweet, wonderful age!

I have a wonderful, sweet, respectful 10 yo. with nice manners. At 4 she was an absolute terror: age 4 was the hardest parenting age for us (age 2 was nbd).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:She sounds autistic, OP.

Shame on you for being so uninformed about psychiatric diagnoses and their presentations. Since this is your gene pool, your kids could also have autism, ADHD, anxiety, or something else, because these diagnoses tend to cluster in affected families.

Parents who tune out their kids with issues often have issues themselves, and don't know it. They can also be overwhelmed and habituated.

You're vile.

Shame on you for implying that a bratty child must be autistic.

Autism is nothing to be ashamed of, so no, I am not ashamed. I have an autistic child, who has inattentive ADHD and has a very passive and silent personality. But there are also autistic kids who are loud and thrown tantrums. OP's description of her niece fits that particular profile.

OP does not know what her niece has. You and I don't either, and the other PP who insulted me doesn't either. But *I* have more experience than any of you, because I have been in autistic social groups, I have volunteered in my son's special needs classes, and I have read extensively on the subject, trying to help my son, and I recognize that particular profile.

I suggest to OP that she refrain from using all the deeply offensive language she's been using so far. Either this is a normal little girl in very abnormal circumstances, or this is an autistic child. Who knows what the parent was thinking - they must have been exhausted. In the context of a funeral, I would have given this family the benefit of the doubt.

You don't know what other families are going through, you don't know what diagnoses lie under the surface. Before spewing hateful words all over the internet, think and reflect. You'll come across as more mature and wise, instead of knee-jerk ignorant and judgmental.

I've been parenting several kids for 18 years. There is no situation I've witnessed that necessitates the level of vileness OP just exhibited.

[Anonymous]

I knew a situation where the aunts were gossiping about a small child's behavior. Yes, the kid was a little wild. Then, the gossipy aunts had children. Their kids were easily 5x wilder than the kid they had criticized a few years prior. So wild they were asked to leave everything from restaurants to church services.

Y'all have the same gene pool, OP. Chances are the parents are exhausted and at their wit's end. Why don't you step out with the child to the parking lot and run in circles for a bit to let off some energy? The parents will appreciate the respite.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you have kids? Four is a tough age, even if she didn't have her schedule disrupted by (possible travel and) an adult event. The parents should not have brought her, or should have left the room with her, but her antics do not in themselves mean she's a brat. Nor is it clear how spanking would help here.

The funeral was for the grandmother of our neice, i.e. the mom of myself and all of my siblings. Bringing the granddaughter was warranted.

I’m sorry for your loss of your mother.
The word is spelled “niece”.
Perhaps you are projecting and focusing on this to distract yourself from the grief of the loss of your mother. Wait 3 months to address this with others.
God bless, again, so sorry for your loss.

Thank you for pointing out the correct spelling. It was making me crazy and really makes me think less of OP.

It’s not hard to have a low opinion of OP after her jarring thread title and insulting post. Awful person alert.

[Anonymous]

I'm assuming that OP, by not responding, has no kids. OP everyone is the best parent in the world until they are a parent themselves. Don't worry, your come uppance is coming.

Your sisters husband should have been on child duty as I was at my husband's family's funeral. But, for whatever reason, maybe your sister needed him to stay, he was not.

That said, G*d and your Mother were not offended by her behavior. She's a child and her Mother is grieving. I'd suggest you not be a b&tch and comment on things you know nothing about when someone is grieving. You wouldn't expect your sister to tell you your dress was inappropriate, would you?