Before I overreact, am I right to be mad at the school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:It's a shame the teacher was there, your son was about to learn a valuable lesson.

This thread is so odd. A girl just died in CA today after a dumb fight. Yes, trash talking is wrong. It happens every day. We need to teach our kids restraint with words and actions, self control. That teacher helped avoid something potentially terrible. I’d want to profusely thank them.

And getting your ass kicked is a great way for a kid to learn self control.

Just so I'm really clear, you think it is entirely appropriate and should be completely socially acceptable for a person, any person, to be assaulted because they said that somebody "sucks at basketball"?

(Not OP, and I understand this is counterfactual. But this point of view, if PP actually means it, is fascinating and dangerous.)

You're putting words in my mouth. I never said "entirely appropriate." It's somewhat appropriate; it serves a function but has some potential costs. Especially among teenage boys, violence comes with positives and negatives. The negatives are obvious, but it can be an important tool for combating this kind of misbehavior. It's how I learned lessons of that sort as a teenage boy, and it worked. I got my ass kicked, and I came out better able to navigate relationships with my peers. I think an outcome where OP's son gets his ass kicked a little bit would likely have been better, for all parties involved, than what happened.

Or to ask another way- If your own child beat somebody up because he heard that the other kid had told somebody that he "sucked at basketball", would you be angry at your kid? Any consequences or discipline?

I don't get angry with my kid for misbehavior; that's idiotic. I would impose discipline if my kid beat someone up in this situation, but I would do so with the understanding that what my kid did also likely had a positive effect. Beating people up is wrong, as a general rule, but it can be a positive experience for the person who gets beaten up under the right circumstances.

Thank you.

[Anonymous]

Focus on your own kid. Period.

[Anonymous]

Kid B probably just bucked at OP's son in the hallway. No physical contact was made, just a testosterone fueled show of anger and dominance.

Tale as old as time.

[Anonymous]

Your kid is an ass.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Focus on your own kid. Period.

+1

[Anonymous]

This is why I hate school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Meh, my DD was the shit stirring drama llama once and told Girl B what Girl A (or whatever) said and they all got in trouble. I think she deserved it. That boy has dirty hands as well, it's a jerk move to tell someone something that will only serve to hurt. That wasn't something a friend would do.

This!!!!
OP, tell your kid to keep far away from the little jerk that the boy A is.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:In addition to learning that he should think before he speaks, your son has learned another important lesson: Boy A is a shit stirrer.

This is key IMO
and next time, if your kid says something to someone in private (no witnesses) the best course is to deny it. He should have said I never said anything and boy A is making things up

[Anonymous]

I don’t understand how this is 7 pages or why I am even commenting. There doesn’t seem to be an issue here. One boy trash talked another and staff intervened before a fight broke out. Move on.

[Anonymous]

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Anonymous wrote:You are out of line. Your kid talked trash and paid the price. School handled fine.

You think it’s OK for another boy to start a fight in the school halls and not be reprimanded? I don’t. I also don’t think what my son did was acceptable, but we will be handling that at home.

You said he confronted him. Did a fight break out?

In the OP I literally said a fight was about to break out before a teacher separated them. Yes.

"about to break out" is a whole lot different than "the other kid punched my kid".

This. Unless there was an actual fight, it’s just two boys talking trash. Or in other words, a Tuesday. I’m sure the other boy was spoken to as well. We don’t punish people for things they almost do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are out of line. Your kid talked trash and paid the price. School handled fine.

You think it’s OK for another boy to start a fight in the school halls and not be reprimanded? I don’t. I also don’t think what my son did was acceptable, but we will be handling that at home.

You said he confronted him. Did a fight break out?

In the OP I literally said a fight was about to break out before a teacher separated them. Yes.

Uh, OP? After "a fight was about to break out before a teacher separated them," the only correct answer is, "No, a fight didn't break out."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

How does your son know that the he is being "punished" more than the other kid? Was your kid punished? Tell your son not to trash talk people unless he is willing to reap the consequences. Otherwise you are going to raise a titty baby.

Nobody is being punished, that’s the thing. I will absolutely be punishing my son for his mouth, but in the mean time, he’s worried this boy will confront him after school.

Well, he should have thought about that before talking s**t.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You are out of line. Your kid talked trash and paid the price. School handled fine.

You think it’s OK for another boy to start a fight in the school halls and not be reprimanded? I don’t. I also don’t think what my son did was acceptable, but we will be handling that at home.

Yes. Other boy was taking care of business.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:In addition to learning that he should think before he speaks, your son has learned another important lesson: Boy A is a shit stirrer.

This is key IMO
and next time, if your kid says something to someone in private (no witnesses) the best course is to deny it. He should have said I never said anything and boy A is making things up

No, the best course is not to say those things in the first place. Second best course, if caught and confronted, is to apologize.

Lying to evade consequences is not an acceptable thing to teach kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Apparently, the other day my son told boy A that boy B “sucks at basketball”. Boy A went to boy B and told him what my son said, and at school today boy B got in my son’s face and confronted him. A teacher saw the confrontation and immediately separated them and got stories. My son called me during his lunch hour and told me about it, and how the guidance counselor is blaming HIM for the whole thing (since he badmouthed B) but B isn’t in trouble at all for confronting my son in what I am sure would have been a fight if the teacher hadn’t intervened. Of course, this is all second hand information, but if it’s true, so I have the right to be upset with the school for the way they are handling this? I’m too upset to think rationally, so help me out.

You are wrong. Your son is a mean bully and is at fault. Imagine if your son was B.

We know why your son is mean and lacks empathy.
You are raising an entiled man.