Before I overreact, am I right to be mad at the school?

[Anonymous]

All 3 kids were wrong in this situation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It sounds like nothing actually happened. The only person you should be upset with is your son for being a jerk.

In 6th grade kids usually end up being kid A,B and C at some point. They're not jerks, if it's not a habit, they're learning. Violence is out of the question but I doubt it would have ended in a fight. The kid just wanted to yell at op's son threateningly to save face, normal reaction. This has always happened and op is likely to carry resentment long after the boys have gotten over it, if they haven't already. Its great all around to talk with the kids about what's appropriate and hopefully bring them together as friends or at least respectful acquaintances, what a great resolution and lesson that would be.

[Anonymous]

Yeah this is much ado about nothing. Did the school even call to tell you about it? Sounds like they didn’t. Never trust a kid account of the situation - they are always the innocent victim, and the school and other kids are the aggressor in these retellings. How was he the only one punished if he wasn’t even punished? Your story has so many logic holes it tells me that what he’s telling you isn’t true.

Remind him about watching his mouth and don’t do anything else unless the school calls you.

[Anonymous]

YTA. And so is your kid

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I cannot believe so many people here think it’s fine the other kid to beat up OP’s kid for saying he is bad at basketball. WTH. Do this at 18 and you’ll be charged with assault.

All involved made bad choices: your son for making mean comments, boy A for telling boy B, and boy B for losing his temper. BUT, it sounds like a fight didn’t actually happen and no one was hit, so I would just move on. None of the boys got punished, other than being talking to- at least that is what I gather. And frankly, nothing that happened seems like a punishable offense anyhow

Come on. A puffed up chest confrontation in the hallway where literally NO PUNCHES WERE THROWN is a FAR cry "beating up OP's kid"

Gimme a break

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

That reminds me of overhearing ds "You're bad at fortnight John!" And the next day to another kid "Did you know John's really good at fortnight?"

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

Why assume he probably said worse? All these kids have probably trashed talked each other. The bad basketball player isn't coming out ahead by being upset that others can see he sucks and wants to fight about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

Why assume he probably said worse? All these kids have probably trashed talked each other. The bad basketball player isn't coming out ahead by being upset that others can see he sucks and wants to fight about it.

Maybe not "worse" but I bet he piled on.

It wasn't just "John sucks at basketball."

It was probably a 5 minute tirade "John sucks so much at basketball. I hate having him on my team. He's just so slow and has no vertical. Its embarassing how bad he is. For real, burh, I swear, I'm not going to pass to him anymore; I'm not. He just sucks so much. That's really how bad he is" etc, etc, etc

That's how they trash talk. It's long and drawn out

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

Why assume he probably said worse? All these kids have probably trashed talked each other. The bad basketball player isn't coming out ahead by being upset that others can see he sucks and wants to fight about it.

Maybe not "worse" but I bet he piled on.

It wasn't just "John sucks at basketball."

It was probably a 5 minute tirade "John sucks so much at basketball. I hate having him on my team. He's just so slow and has no vertical. Its embarassing how bad he is. For real, burh, I swear, I'm not going to pass to him anymore; I'm not. He just sucks so much. That's really how bad he is" etc, etc, etc

That's how they trash talk. It's long and drawn out

Why are you imagining your own scenario here? Ridiculous.

[Anonymous]

Your son learned a valuable lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

Why assume he probably said worse? All these kids have probably trashed talked each other. The bad basketball player isn't coming out ahead by being upset that others can see he sucks and wants to fight about it.

Maybe not "worse" but I bet he piled on.

It wasn't just "John sucks at basketball."

It was probably a 5 minute tirade "John sucks so much at basketball. I hate having him on my team. He's just so slow and has no vertical. Its embarassing how bad he is. For real, burh, I swear, I'm not going to pass to him anymore; I'm not. He just sucks so much. That's really how bad he is" etc, etc, etc

That's how they trash talk. It's long and drawn out

Why are you imagining your own scenario here? Ridiculous.

It happened after the imaginary fight

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Agreed. But that's also probably why OP's kid said worse things than just "he sucks at basketball."

This is a whole pile of nothing. Both kids were in the wrong. Both kids were talked to. Everyone should just shut up and move on

Why assume he probably said worse? All these kids have probably trashed talked each other. The bad basketball player isn't coming out ahead by being upset that others can see he sucks and wants to fight about it.

Maybe not "worse" but I bet he piled on.

It wasn't just "John sucks at basketball."

It was probably a 5 minute tirade "John sucks so much at basketball. I hate having him on my team. He's just so slow and has no vertical. Its embarassing how bad he is. For real, burh, I swear, I'm not going to pass to him anymore; I'm not. He just sucks so much. That's really how bad he is" etc, etc, etc

That's how they trash talk. It's long and drawn out

Why are you imagining your own scenario here? Ridiculous.

Well, all of this is speculation, tbh. We don't even know that the "confrontation" looks like.

But I'm not really "imagining" I'm around MS boys all day (and I'm a guy, so I was a MS boy at one point), and that's just how they trash talk.

OP is very likely deluding herself thinking that her son made a small comment. I highly doubt that. I doubt that bc I see it all the time. Those types of kids don't just make a throw-away commnent; they try to tear down other kids in an effort to elevate themselves. That's OP's son. It's a REALLY bad look

[Anonymous]

Why are people assuming Kid B is bad at basketball? In my DS’s grade, the kids who do the most trash talking are usually bench warmers/bubble players trying to tear down players of equal or slightly better ability who they see as threats. Just this week we had a similar Kid A/Kid B scenario, where Kid B is a starter.

Players who are genuinely talented and secure in their status don’t need to put down their teammates. OP might want to unpack that with their DS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’m upset because the school has no proof my son said anything (he claims he didn’t and he’s being thrown under the bus, but of course, grain of salt) but they are treating that as a greater offense than having a close and escalating verbal altercation in the hallway that had to be broken up by an adult. (The boy is still in class as we speak. My son thinks he will try to fight him after school now but is afraid to tell anyone because they aren’t on “his side”.)

No one is on his side. Makes me think he's badmouthed some of the other kids. And they're not putting up with it.

Do people here actually have teens? "you suck at basketball" is garden variety trash talk the vast majority of kids hear daily, and that includes my kids who would NEVER retaliate over this. If you think it justifies physical harm you are.out.of.your.mind and part of the problem. I wonder if this is just mean ganging up behavior against op, who is concerned about her kid who yes, was a little douche, but that doesn't justify him getting hurt.

Don't be so sure about that. Pride goeth before a fall. All kids are capable of sh*tty behavior.

I think most of us managed to make it to adulthood without punching someone. Did you not? My dh has never punched anyone either.

doubtful. He's probably too afraid of you to talk