Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, my husband's family had nonmarried, childless elderly people (two nevermarried aunts and a nevermarried uncle). I think being childless is fine until you start to slow down and not be able to travel/visit as much. Probably late 70s for all of them. They were all long-lived (into their 90s), and they were lonely and honestly a bit of a burden to extended family.

I don't know what the answer is. I don't think anybody should have children if they don't want to, but, the reality is that once they are elderly and need help and rely on people to visit them for company, it is harder for people without kids to get that support.

No guarantee with kids that there will be support on old age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to your daughters. Many adults postpone children unaware of how rapidly age can affect fertility.

This is ridiculous. You think they don’t know? But also, the fertility cliff at 35 is not accurate at all and there have been many articles about this

[Anonymous]

Two childless daughters is terrible luck! I think around 25 percent of men never reproduce, while only 15 percent of women never reproduce. Nothing you can do about it now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two amazing daughters we are proud of. They're smart, pretty, ambitious and every other thing a parent would hope for. They were always disciplined and responsible so they never gave us any headaches or reason for us to worry, however, my wife and I are both a bit concerned about their family situation as it is today.

The youngest daughter is 36, she's a lawyer. She's been together with her partner for 6 years and living with him for 2 or so. She mentioned she was not interested in getting married and will probably skip the kids too. We let her know that if the cost of a wedding was the problem we could pay part of it. She politely declined and changed subject. The other daughter is 38 and is an accountant. She's been dating here and there, but I don't remember the last time she brought a partner home. I don't think she's had a serious boyfriend in the last 5 years. I understand that not everyone follows the same path in life, but I'm afraid that not being married or having any children will catch up with them at some point. I see this in my sister who's in her late 60s. She had a successful career as an accountant, but she never married or had kids and I believe she's she's very lonely and missed on some important milestones in life. I'm afraid that my daughters will look back on their lives and regret some of their choices. Is there a sensitive way for us to approach this? Has any of you changed your minds about this in the last moment?

Your daughters are adults. The time to shape their worldview is probably past. One suggestion is have your sister talk to them about her life and regrets.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sad, society and feminism has sold them a lie, biological regret will overtake them

Probably not because feminism is also about making choices that are right for you. Their biology's like "Nah, I'm good. No babies for me!"

[Anonymous]

They probably already know what you think about their choices. Leave them be and appreciate who they are and the lives they've built.

[Anonymous]

Im sorry. I went to Northwestern, had 5 children and am financially independent raising my children in the Catholic faith. My mom has said multiple times motherhood is thsnkless, they should have not sent me to NU since I didnt use my degree and snarks on Catholicism. Maybe we can switch families

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Im sorry. I went to Northwestern, had 5 children and am financially independent raising my children in the Catholic faith. My mom has said multiple times motherhood is thsnkless, they should have not sent me to NU since I didnt use my degree and snarks on Catholicism. Maybe we can switch families

Are you married or doing it on your own?

[Anonymous]

I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I hope at least one of them has an oops baby or comes to her senses.
My friend who is 39 and didn’t want kids is now pregnant and fairly happy. She did settle for her oops baby’s father but it is what it is!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two amazing daughters we are proud of. They're smart, pretty, ambitious and every other thing a parent would hope for. They were always disciplined and responsible so they never gave us any headaches or reason for us to worry, however, my wife and I are both a bit concerned about their family situation as it is today.

The youngest daughter is 36, she's a lawyer. She's been together with her partner for 6 years and living with him for 2 or so. She mentioned she was not interested in getting married and will probably skip the kids too. We let her know that if the cost of a wedding was the problem we could pay part of it. She politely declined and changed subject. The other daughter is 38 and is an accountant. She's been dating here and there, but I don't remember the last time she brought a partner home. I don't think she's had a serious boyfriend in the last 5 years. I understand that not everyone follows the same path in life, but I'm afraid that not being married or having any children will catch up with them at some point. I see this in my sister who's in her late 60s. She had a successful career as an accountant, but she never married or had kids and I believe she's she's very lonely and missed on some important milestones in life. I'm afraid that my daughters will look back on their lives and regret some of their choices. Is there a sensitive way for us to approach this? Has any of you changed your minds about this in the last moment?

Big Boomer energy in this post.

It’s not about you. For once.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two amazing daughters we are proud of. They're smart, pretty, ambitious and every other thing a parent would hope for. They were always disciplined and responsible so they never gave us any headaches or reason for us to worry, however, my wife and I are both a bit concerned about their family situation as it is today.

The youngest daughter is 36, she's a lawyer. She's been together with her partner for 6 years and living with him for 2 or so. She mentioned she was not interested in getting married and will probably skip the kids too. We let her know that if the cost of a wedding was the problem we could pay part of it. She politely declined and changed subject. The other daughter is 38 and is an accountant. She's been dating here and there, but I don't remember the last time she brought a partner home. I don't think she's had a serious boyfriend in the last 5 years. I understand that not everyone follows the same path in life, but I'm afraid that not being married or having any children will catch up with them at some point. I see this in my sister who's in her late 60s. She had a successful career as an accountant, but she never married or had kids and I believe she's she's very lonely and missed on some important milestones in life. I'm afraid that my daughters will look back on their lives and regret some of their choices. Is there a sensitive way for us to approach this? Has any of you changed your minds about this in the last moment?

Your daughters are adults. The time to shape their worldview is probably past. One suggestion is have your sister talk to them about her life and regrets.

There's nothing to suggest OP's sister regrets her choices and even if she does, it doesn't mean others will regret theirs. Peoole should stop assuming everyone wants kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I hope at least one of them has an oops baby or comes to her senses.
My friend who is 39 and didn’t want kids is now pregnant and fairly happy. She did settle for her oops baby’s father but it is what it is!

Coming to your senses sometimes means to no have children.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You need to talk to your daughters. Many adults postpone children unaware of how rapidly age can affect fertility.

People who want children don't postpone them. Those who do either don't want them or have other issues you're unaware of.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two childless daughters is terrible luck! I think around 25 percent of men never reproduce, while only 15 percent of women never reproduce. Nothing you can do about it now.

Yeah, this really sucks. I’m sorry, OP - I would be unhappy about that too

[Anonymous]

I’ve been that daughter. Don’t bring it up all the time but if you have a good relationship with them - meaning you communicate with them regularly and about serious matters, I think it is ok to bring it up once every few years. As one of many important life topics, not just the ONLY important topic. Because I do feel like even in my 40s, I appreciate hearing from people who have walked ahead of me about the lessons they have learned in life. If anything, you want to understand them and help them if they are struggling in that area of their life.