Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?

[Anonymous]

DC Karens never give up their helicopter driver license. She'll be trying to run her daughter's life when the kid is 65.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two amazing daughters we are proud of. They're smart, pretty, ambitious and every other thing a parent would hope for. They were always disciplined and responsible so they never gave us any headaches or reason for us to worry, however, my wife and I are both a bit concerned about their family situation as it is today.

The youngest daughter is 36, she's a lawyer. She's been together with her partner for 6 years and living with him for 2 or so. She mentioned she was not interested in getting married and will probably skip the kids too. We let her know that if the cost of a wedding was the problem we could pay part of it. She politely declined and changed subject. The other daughter is 38 and is an accountant. She's been dating here and there, but I don't remember the last time she brought a partner home. I don't think she's had a serious boyfriend in the last 5 years. I understand that not everyone follows the same path in life, but I'm afraid that not being married or having any children will catch up with them at some point. I see this in my sister who's in her late 60s. She had a successful career as an accountant, but she never married or had kids and I believe she's she's very lonely and missed on some important milestones in life. I'm afraid that my daughters will look back on their lives and regret some of their choices. Is there a sensitive way for us to approach this? Has any of you changed your minds about this in the last moment?

Your daughters are adults. The time to shape their worldview is probably past. One suggestion is have your sister talk to them about her life and regrets.

There's nothing to suggest OP's sister regrets her choices and even if she does, it doesn't mean others will regret theirs. Peoole should stop assuming everyone wants kids.

Its not that people "want kids" though a lot do. Its that people need families. You may be ok in your 50s being single but at some point life will get very lonely.

Heres the author of sex in the city as an example.
https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/sex-and-the-city-writer-regrets-not-having-kids/

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:DC Karens never give up their helicopter driver license. She'll be trying to run her daughter's life when the kid is 65.

The OP is a man. People here don't know how to read.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We have two amazing daughters we are proud of. They're smart, pretty, ambitious and every other thing a parent would hope for. They were always disciplined and responsible so they never gave us any headaches or reason for us to worry, however, my wife and I are both a bit concerned about their family situation as it is today.

The youngest daughter is 36, she's a lawyer. She's been together with her partner for 6 years and living with him for 2 or so. She mentioned she was not interested in getting married and will probably skip the kids too. We let her know that if the cost of a wedding was the problem we could pay part of it. She politely declined and changed subject. The other daughter is 38 and is an accountant. She's been dating here and there, but I don't remember the last time she brought a partner home. I don't think she's had a serious boyfriend in the last 5 years. I understand that not everyone follows the same path in life, but I'm afraid that not being married or having any children will catch up with them at some point. I see this in my sister who's in her late 60s. She had a successful career as an accountant, but she never married or had kids and I believe she's she's very lonely and missed on some important milestones in life. I'm afraid that my daughters will look back on their lives and regret some of their choices. Is there a sensitive way for us to approach this? Has any of you changed your minds about this in the last moment?

Your daughters are adults. The time to shape their worldview is probably past. One suggestion is have your sister talk to them about her life and regrets.

There's nothing to suggest OP's sister regrets her choices and even if she does, it doesn't mean others will regret theirs. Peoole should stop assuming everyone wants kids.

Its not that people "want kids" though a lot do. Its that people need families. You may be ok in your 50s being single but at some point life will get very lonely.

Heres the author of sex in the city as an example.
https://graziadaily.co.uk/life/real-life/sex-and-the-city-writer-regrets-not-having-kids/

If you don't want marriage or children and have them anyways. What kind of relationship you think you're gonna have with your spouse and kids?

[Anonymous]

Parents should stop making goals out of their children's marriages and kids. As much as society tells us that these are things that everyone needs to achieve, the reality is that they create lifestyles that don't suit everyone. As somebody mentioned before, your daughter is a lawyer and her decision to not get married might be a practical one because she knows things about marriage that other people don't. Your single daughter might have tried a relationship and then decided that it wasn't for her. Even if your daughters had set these marriage and children as goals, there's no guarantee that they would achieve them. Life doesn't always work as you expect it to and your body doesn't either. As a parent, your only job is to raise your children to be happen and to be able to make their own decisions. If you achieved that then you need to focus on goals that don't depend on other people.

[Anonymous]

I only have one daughter. She turns 40 this year. She grew up in a happy household. My husband and I always showed respect for each other and we gave her and each other everything we needed.

My daughter and her partner have a beautiful but unconventional relationship. They live apart but close to each other. They see each other often but not every day. They chare a business, but also have their separate careers. They've been together for many years and are in no rush to get married. I don't think they will have children.

Looking back, I remember how my daughter rarely played with dolls and while she helped around with her younger cousins when necessary, she didn't seem to have that baby craze many of us have.

When she dated she never celebrated San Valentines or anniversaries, and it seemed to be the guys who were pushing to make things more romantic. She didn't particularly enjoyed wedding either but attended to support her friends and family.

Some people aren't just interested in marriage or kids, and as much as I would love to have grand-children I understand that my daughter is it's own person with her own life. I feel sad for myself, but happy for her that she seems to be living the kind of life she wants.

Let your daughter be. If they need your help they will let you know.

[Anonymous]

Every time they come for Thanksgiving alone, a vetted rich childless tall and handsome single man should be there. Anything short of that isn’t helpful

[Anonymous]

Their family setups in their late 30s are not open to your discussion. Parents are not going to help with this conversation. At all.

Be loving and supportive of where they are now. Don't act like they are incomplete because they aren't married or they don't have kids. Just live your life enjoying your daughters.

[Anonymous]

Consider that maybe they dodged bullets. I have a sister who is over 35 and single. She got away from an alcoholic boyfriend with mommy issues. Oh, and he really wasn’t able to keep a steady job and career goals in sight. Imagine if she married him. Oy. Maybe, yeah, she’d be married with kids but she’d be in tears every other day with my parents wringing their hands over the poor little ones whose daddy can’t stay away from hard liquor and mommy who needs to sneak away to AA meetings when grandma and grandpa visit.

Don’t assume they missed out on wonderful cozy home lives.

[Anonymous]

My daughter has told me several times that she probably doesn't want kids. She's still young and could change her mind, but if she doesn't, that's cool. My kid-free friends (I have many) have great lives. She has promised me doggie grandkids.

Your daughters will be fine. Chances are your friends will have grandkids so you could still hold a baby once in a while.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Consider that maybe they dodged bullets. I have a sister who is over 35 and single. She got away from an alcoholic boyfriend with mommy issues. Oh, and he really wasn’t able to keep a steady job and career goals in sight. Imagine if she married him. Oy. Maybe, yeah, she’d be married with kids but she’d be in tears every other day with my parents wringing their hands over the poor little ones whose daddy can’t stay away from hard liquor and mommy who needs to sneak away to AA meetings when grandma and grandpa visit.

Don’t assume they missed out on wonderful cozy home lives.

Very good point.

[Anonymous]

Here’s what you say:

“I’m so proud of you. We put this money aside for your wedding, which I realize now was very traditional of us…would you like it for a down payment on a house? We’d love to help support the wonderful life you’ve made for yourself.”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I just wanted to say I’m sorry. I hope at least one of them has an oops baby or comes to her senses.
My friend who is 39 and didn’t want kids is now pregnant and fairly happy. She did settle for her oops baby’s father but it is what it is!

Coming to your senses sometimes means to no have children.

I agree with you re: moms with more than 2 kids. Esp single, poor etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We have two amazing daughters we are proud of. They're smart, pretty, ambitious and every other thing a parent would hope for. They were always disciplined and responsible so they never gave us any headaches or reason for us to worry, however, my wife and I are both a bit concerned about their family situation as it is today.

The youngest daughter is 36, she's a lawyer. She's been together with her partner for 6 years and living with him for 2 or so. She mentioned she was not interested in getting married and will probably skip the kids too. We let her know that if the cost of a wedding was the problem we could pay part of it. She politely declined and changed subject. The other daughter is 38 and is an accountant. She's been dating here and there, but I don't remember the last time she brought a partner home. I don't think she's had a serious boyfriend in the last 5 years. I understand that not everyone follows the same path in life, but I'm afraid that not being married or having any children will catch up with them at some point. I see this in my sister who's in her late 60s. She had a successful career as an accountant, but she never married or had kids and I believe she's she's very lonely and missed on some important milestones in life. I'm afraid that my daughters will look back on their lives and regret some of their choices. Is there a sensitive way for us to approach this? Has any of you changed your minds about this in the last moment?

If the single one is in dc get her out. Eat, pray, love her elsewhere the dating pool is horrid here.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Every time they come for Thanksgiving alone, a vetted rich childless tall and handsome single man should be there. Anything short of that isn’t helpful

Wearing a ridiculous jumper. Viva Bridget Jones.