Daughters are childless and one of the is single, what can we do for them as their parents?

[Anonymous]

It's sad, society and feminism has sold them a lie, biological regret will overtake them

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sad, society and feminism has sold them a lie, biological regret will overtake them

or not. who knows. not you, not me.

[Anonymous]

Offer to pay to freeze their eggs. But don't be pushy.
And enjoy your daughters just as they are. They sound lovely.

[Anonymous]

I am sure you have expressed your feelings previously and they know.

My BIL is 35 and single. He is a physician. My MIL can’t help herself and probably lets it be known that BIL should be married by now.

I doubt very much that you have not shown or told them how you feel.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be so, so sad, if my kids didn't have kids. I've told both of them I would look after their babies!

Big hugs, OP. My cousin had her first at 37, after years of saying she didn't want children! She's not married, but she has a long-term boyfriend.

Here's hoping.

I am a PP. I actually hope my kids are not dumb enough to have kids and put themselves in a bad situation of having to do two full-time jobs. (Plus, I don't want to be a grandparent.)

Several of my friends had first kids 40-44. 37 is not old (I had one then...one-time slip in years).

Why did you've kids yourself if you detest the idea? Bad experience?

It was not a choice: first was coerced while off the pill 2 days despite our no-kids agreement. He knew what he was doing. Other was sex only one time later 3 years after in a birth control fail. I was 37. Divorced. He reneged on the one dealbreaker for the marriage.

I never ever wanted to me a working mother. One or the other. Not both. Ex insisted I never stop working so I said no kids: he agreed. I am now living my nightmare that I said I would never do.

There was too much pressure to marry in my early 30s. Marriage brought nothing but misery.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Yes, definitely bring it up. I’m sure neither of them has noticed that they’re over 35 and unmarried and childless.

h
+1
And report back how the conversation went.

[Anonymous]

My vote is to not bring it up but to keep lines of communication open and maybe try to understand why they are passionate about what they are doing now and their future goals that don’t include kids. They seem happy, self sufficient, and like they do have plans for the future. I would focus on understanding their perspectives rather than them understanding yours.

This said, I completely understand where you are coming from and it sounds like you don’t want them to miss out on the joy they brought you. While this makes sense, I get the idea that they have heavily considered what they are giving up in not having kids. This really may be the choice that makes them happiest and you need to have faith in that.

Last thing I wanted to mention- skipping marriage and kids is becoming more common and definitely more supported these days. We are moving away from the old fashioned notion that not following this path is dysfunctional or a response to trauma or whatever. They are not going to be the only old ladies in my generation who are childfree by choice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You should have been talking about this from their teen years. In your shoes now, I’d mention it our concern or advice once and then drop it.

Marriage and children are not an obligation. I don't see why anybody should be teaching their teens to have either. Both aee a choice.

[Anonymous]

First of all OP, people are not having kids like that. Kids are expensive. 2nd, this is not the 60s or 70s where women are expected to get married. Fir all you know, your daughter may not like men. She may not want the burden of another human, or maybe she wants to build her own life on her terms. No one cares that people are married. The world is bigger and I highly doubt they will end up lonely. Stop making assumptions based on your pwn insecurities.

[Anonymous]

This is normal. There are significant some shifts of women delaying childbirth in this county. Some call this involuntary childlessness. It is widely supported and there are many incentives to withhold reproduction. Some childless families are voluntarily or by choice.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It's sad, society and feminism has sold them a lie, biological regret will overtake them

“Continued declines in fertility are projected to shift the age structure of the population so that there will be more adults age 65 or older compared to children under age 18.“

US Census Bureau 2023 (Press Release of their projections).

Obviously, people study this for economic reasons and for immigration policy. It’s a trend.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would be so, so sad, if my kids didn't have kids. I've told both of them I would look after their babies!

Big hugs, OP. My cousin had her first at 37, after years of saying she didn't want children! She's not married, but she has a long-term boyfriend.

Here's hoping.

I am a PP. I actually hope my kids are not dumb enough to have kids and put themselves in a bad situation of having to do two full-time jobs. (Plus, I don't want to be a grandparent.)

Several of my friends had first kids 40-44. 37 is not old (I had one then...one-time slip in years).

Why did you've kids yourself if you detest the idea? Bad experience?

PP posts this all the time. She needs therapy. and alsoto admit her fault and responsibility in her situation

[Anonymous]

Anonymous[b wrote:]I would be so, so sad,[/b] if my kids didn't have kids. I've told both of them I would look after their babies!

Big hugs, OP. My cousin had her first at 37, after years of saying she didn't want children! She's not married, but she has a long-term boyfriend.

Here's hoping.

I suggest you start working on that now. You're kids don't exist to make you happy with their life.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP, as a mom, your concern is legit, you live them and are used to looking out for them.

However, times have changed and if they build a good career, invest money, have a good support system and engaging hobbies, they'll be fine on their own.

That being said, you can push this envelope once more even at the risk of being seen as a nagging meddler. Its worth it but then you'll have to hold your peace forever.

Ask them if there is any way you can help if they want to explore this avenue before you closing this chapter? If you can arrange any blind dates through a matrimonial service, help out with marriage expenses, help with freezing eggs etc. Tell them that you feel your mom didn't do it for your sister and you don't want to repeat this and carry this guilt. You are all adults and they can explain their reasons so you can better understand this matter and move on one way or other.

OP is only looking out for herself. Her daughters are nearly 40-year-old grown-ass women! Op needs to accept she's not getting grandkids and get the hell on with what's left of her life. Actually, if she truly wants to help her daughters she should make sure hers and her husband's affairs are in order, make sure they have coverage for nursing home. home health expences. Have the house cleared out of junk etc

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Nothing you can do. It is kind of late to have these conversations.

Have you tested these girls for their reproductivity to know that?

These aren't girls. They are grown women.

Ok have you tested these women to know that