37 single, want a baby, make about 95k a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

DP. Thanks, but I am a single woman who doesn’t appreciate being called a spinster, nor do I have dogs or cats as you paint us spinsters as.

I got married in a British Commonwealth territory at age 32, and on our marriage license, I am listed as a "spinster" while my husband, same age, is listed as a "bachelor."

I have tons of friends who are childless by choice. None of them are spinsters at all! That term is from fairy tales to describe the wicked stepsisters who can't get married. And apparently unmarried British women over the age of 30...

It’s derogatory. Its origin is not from fairytales just bc fairytales used them. That’s like saying the n word is okay bc it’s in books from way back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.

I am foreign born, grew up in a household of a poor single mom in a tiny apartment. Began working at 16 and didn’t speak a word of English until 21. Went to a public school, got my bachelors and grad degrees on scholarships. By age 27 I was making 85k a year; 400k/year by age 40. I started driving at 34, after my net worth was at $1mm. I never had expensive hobbies as a child but I ski, play tennis and sky drive as adult

Kids don’t need a $2mm house or private schools to grow up successful functional adults. They just need educated, smart parent(s) and a loving environment. OP can grow a heathy well adjusted child on her own. Or she can rush into marriage and completely destroy her child psychologically in divorce with some jerk.

+1.

The most well adjusted kids in my family have a single mom by choice as a parent. They grew up in a 2 bedroom condo. However, we have a big family in this area, and my relative had tons of support. The kids spent at least 2 weeks each year at my house ( during school breaks), and spent time at other family members' houses so their mom was not overwhelmed

That says a lot about your family which isn’t good.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.

I am foreign born, grew up in a household of a poor single mom in a tiny apartment. Began working at 16 and didn’t speak a word of English until 21. Went to a public school, got my bachelors and grad degrees on scholarships. By age 27 I was making 85k a year; 400k/year by age 40. I started driving at 34, after my net worth was at $1mm. I never had expensive hobbies as a child but I ski, play tennis and sky drive as adult

Kids don’t need a $2mm house or private schools to grow up successful functional adults. They just need educated, smart parent(s) and a loving environment. OP can grow a heathy well adjusted child on her own. Or she can rush into marriage and completely destroy her child psychologically in divorce with some jerk.

+1.

The most well adjusted kids in my family have a single mom by choice as a parent. They grew up in a 2 bedroom condo. However, we have a big family in this area, and my relative had tons of support. The kids spent at least 2 weeks each year at my house ( during school breaks), and spent time at other family members' houses so their mom was not overwhelmed

The most well adjusted kids in my family have parents married to each other.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

What age is the age she can't have kids?

Who wants to have a child at 40? 45? The first one and alone?
No thanks

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Having a baby on your own is a privilege not a right. For that matter so is having a baby even if you have a partner.

Hahaha tell that to all the WIC recipients!
In fact smart people should procreate more not less

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35k 401k
150 equity
20k savings

Hell no. You are too poor. You will seriously struggle.

Typical DCUM brain rot. The median household income in DC is 101k. OPs 95k is within the average range. She's got more savings than the average person. You guys are really out of touch.

But that typical HhI typically involved two working adults or one working adult and a SAHP. There is no backup in OPs system and not enough money to swing it all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

What age is the age she can't have kids?

Who wants to have a child at 40? 45? The first one and alone?
No thanks

I had my only at 40 and they are fantastic and well adjusted.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

What age is the age she can't have kids?

Who wants to have a child at 40? 45? The first one and alone?
No thanks

I had my only at 40 and they are fantastic and well adjusted.

That’s about the limit.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.

I am foreign born, grew up in a household of a poor single mom in a tiny apartment. Began working at 16 and didn’t speak a word of English until 21. Went to a public school, got my bachelors and grad degrees on scholarships. By age 27 I was making 85k a year; 400k/year by age 40. I started driving at 34, after my net worth was at $1mm. I never had expensive hobbies as a child but I ski, play tennis and sky drive as adult

Kids don’t need a $2mm house or private schools to grow up successful functional adults. They just need educated, smart parent(s) and a loving environment. OP can grow a heathy well adjusted child on her own. Or she can rush into marriage and completely destroy her child psychologically in divorce with some jerk.

+1.

The most well adjusted kids in my family have a single mom by choice as a parent. They grew up in a 2 bedroom condo. However, we have a big family in this area, and my relative had tons of support. The kids spent at least 2 weeks each year at my house ( during school breaks), and spent time at other family members' houses so their mom was not overwhelmed

That says a lot about your family which isn’t good.

DP. No your comment says a lot about spoiled soft Americans who think babies can only be made in SFHs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

What age is the age she can't have kids?

Who wants to have a child at 40? 45? The first one and alone?
No thanks

I had my only at 40 and they are fantastic and well adjusted.

They? How how many did you have? Confused here

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.

I am foreign born, grew up in a household of a poor single mom in a tiny apartment. Began working at 16 and didn’t speak a word of English until 21. Went to a public school, got my bachelors and grad degrees on scholarships. By age 27 I was making 85k a year; 400k/year by age 40. I started driving at 34, after my net worth was at $1mm. I never had expensive hobbies as a child but I ski, play tennis and sky drive as adult

Kids don’t need a $2mm house or private schools to grow up successful functional adults. They just need educated, smart parent(s) and a loving environment. OP can grow a heathy well adjusted child on her own. Or she can rush into marriage and completely destroy her child psychologically in divorce with some jerk.

+1.

The most well adjusted kids in my family have a single mom by choice as a parent. They grew up in a 2 bedroom condo. However, we have a big family in this area, and my relative had tons of support. The kids spent at least 2 weeks each year at my house ( during school breaks), and spent time at other family members' houses so their mom was not overwhelmed

That says a lot about your family which isn’t good.

DP. No your comment says a lot about spoiled soft Americans who think babies can only be made in SFHs

Read what you wrote.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

None, I don’t need or want to, I have bio kids with a spouse. That’s the way it is.