37 single, want a baby, make about 95k a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

What you are suggesting is not what is best for a child.
The derogatory name you call single women is so sexist and offensive. Not all “spinsters” have lives revolves around having cats or dogs.
What a way to put women down! Sexist ass

Lol, please stop feigning moral outrage at an archaic term when you are the one with an archaic mentality.

You don’t know what’s best for another soul, I’d rather be born to a middle class, single mom by choice than to not exist at all. Life is a gift. Having a stable, loving mother is a huge gift. I actually know several children who were born and raised by single moms by choice. They are all happy and well adjusted adults. Who are you to say they shouldn’t have been born or what was best for them? Please shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

What you are suggesting is not what is best for a child.
The derogatory name you call single women is so sexist and offensive. Not all “spinsters” have lives revolves around having cats or dogs.
What a way to put women down! Sexist ass

Ireland just enacted legislation redefining the notion of a family. Kids adapt and no, it’s not a big deal to grow up with one excellent parent who cares. I had a much better life growing up with my single mom than my poor child who was torn after divorce between two houses

How about two excellent parents? You suggesting that children who have 1 parent are raised in better environment which is simply not true. Your one anecdote is not proof. Your poor child as a product of divorce is your fault and is an underlying admission by you that 2 parents are better than 1.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

What you are suggesting is not what is best for a child.
The derogatory name you call single women is so sexist and offensive. Not all “spinsters” have lives revolves around having cats or dogs.
What a way to put women down! Sexist ass

Lol, please stop feigning moral outrage at an archaic term when you are the one with an archaic mentality.

You don’t know what’s best for another soul, I’d rather be born to a middle class, single mom by choice than to not exist at all. Life is a gift. Having a stable, loving mother is a huge gift. I actually know several children who were born and raised by single moms by choice. They are all happy and well adjusted adults. Who are you to say they shouldn’t have been born or what was best for them? Please shut up.

Coming from the sexist pig who calls single women derogatory names and telling them to shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

What you are suggesting is not what is best for a child.
The derogatory name you call single women is so sexist and offensive. Not all “spinsters” have lives revolves around having cats or dogs.
What a way to put women down! Sexist ass

Lol, please stop feigning moral outrage at an archaic term when you are the one with an archaic mentality.

You don’t know what’s best for another soul, I’d rather be born to a middle class, single mom by choice than to not exist at all. Life is a gift. Having a stable, loving mother is a huge gift. I actually know several children who were born and raised by single moms by choice. They are all happy and well adjusted adults. Who are you to say they shouldn’t have been born or what was best for them? Please shut up.

Why did you use an archaic term that is insulting to women who aren’t married? And then to further insult them by insinuating they are cat women and dog women.
You shut up.
Don’t try to wiggle your way out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

What you are suggesting is not what is best for a child.
The derogatory name you call single women is so sexist and offensive. Not all “spinsters” have lives revolves around having cats or dogs.
What a way to put women down! Sexist ass

Lol, please stop feigning moral outrage at an archaic term when you are the one with an archaic mentality.

You don’t know what’s best for another soul, I’d rather be born to a middle class, single mom by choice than to not exist at all. Life is a gift. Having a stable, loving mother is a huge gift. I actually know several children who were born and raised by single moms by choice. They are all happy and well adjusted adults. Who are you to say they shouldn’t have been born or what was best for them? Please shut up.

I’m not the pp but you are the one who needs to shut up with you pretending to care about women. You call some names and you tell others to shut up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Tender and no protection

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

Tender and no protection

That is funny.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Get a low pressure job and apply for benefits like housing, food stamps, WIC etc
But have cash saved up. I think they don’t even punish for assets nowadays.

Terrible advice. All government help would come to less than what you're making right now. If fact, it's quite possible that you won't even qualify for much of it.

But she will have less work and will be able to stay home with baby and then get daycare subsidies etc
It’s best to have a partner but she has savings which is ok too

There's absolutely no guarantee that that government will help, or that it will help with the amount of money that's necessary to get ahead, not to mention that after years of staying home she might have difficulties getting back into her field. Government aid is not as generous or as easy to get as Repunlicans make it sound.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Use a sperm donor and do it on your own.

Signed,
Someone who married an awful person because I really wanted to have kids.

Agree. You can do it. A bad marriage can ruin everything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35k 401k
150 equity
20k savings

Hell no. You are too poor. You will seriously struggle.

Typical DCUM brain rot. The median household income in DC is 101k. OPs 95k is within the average range. She's got more savings than the average person. You guys are really out of touch.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Use a sperm donor and do it on your own.

Signed,
Someone who married an awful person because I really wanted to have kids.

Agree. You can do it. A bad marriage can ruin everything.

How about not marry someone who is awful as pp said she did?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:35k 401k
150 equity
20k savings

Hell no. You are too poor. You will seriously struggle.

Typical DCUM brain rot. The median household income in DC is 101k. OPs 95k is within the average range. She's got more savings than the average person. You guys are really out of touch.

No, you’re out of touch. She will need to pay for way more care for that child with being single.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

DP. Thanks, but I am a single woman who doesn’t appreciate being called a spinster, nor do I have dogs or cats as you paint us spinsters as.

I got married in a British Commonwealth territory at age 32, and on our marriage license, I am listed as a "spinster" while my husband, same age, is listed as a "bachelor."

I have tons of friends who are childless by choice. None of them are spinsters at all! That term is from fairy tales to describe the wicked stepsisters who can't get married. And apparently unmarried British women over the age of 30...

[Anonymous]

OP, is it a baby that you specifically want or a child? I ask because a similarly situated friend of mine ended up fostering and then adopting her daughter. The baby years are the hardest in terms of care (babies obviously can't be left home alone), and they are very expensive generally out of necessity (i.e. diapers and childcare), whereas later years can be expensive by choice (i.e. private school, travel sports), but can also be more manageable by making different choices. I wish you luck with whatever you decide.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.

I am foreign born, grew up in a household of a poor single mom in a tiny apartment. Began working at 16 and didn’t speak a word of English until 21. Went to a public school, got my bachelors and grad degrees on scholarships. By age 27 I was making 85k a year; 400k/year by age 40. I started driving at 34, after my net worth was at $1mm. I never had expensive hobbies as a child but I ski, play tennis and sky drive as adult

Kids don’t need a $2mm house or private schools to grow up successful functional adults. They just need educated, smart parent(s) and a loving environment. OP can grow a heathy well adjusted child on her own. Or she can rush into marriage and completely destroy her child psychologically in divorce with some jerk.

+1.

The most well adjusted kids in my family have a single mom by choice as a parent. They grew up in a 2 bedroom condo. However, we have a big family in this area, and my relative had tons of support. The kids spent at least 2 weeks each year at my house ( during school breaks), and spent time at other family members' houses so their mom was not overwhelmed