37 single, want a baby, make about 95k a year

Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you really need to “review how people raise kids in apartments.” That’s over complicating it a bit. Or rather, raising my daughter in an apartment is the least complicated thing that I do.

Signed,
Single mom by choice


Sorry if that seemed rude. I am PP and the only place I lived in the DMV was a studio condo. I moved away because I couldn't afford a SFH. I decided in the end to raise kids in a fancy-ish TH far from DMV and lots of people find that a weird decision, including some of my neighbors. My kids share a BR and I was shocked to find sharing was on a list of poverty markers that would qualify a family for subsidized utility rates.

People have a lot of ideas in their head about dream places to live, just like they have dreams about kids. I only meant that OP should not overextend on housing. Thinking about apartment living is the closest shorthand I know for that.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I don’t think you really need to “review how people raise kids in apartments.” That’s over complicating it a bit. Or rather, raising my daughter in an apartment is the least complicated thing that I do.

Signed,
Single mom by choice


Sorry if that seemed rude. I am PP and the only place I lived in the DMV was a studio condo. I moved away because I couldn't afford a SFH. I decided in the end to raise kids in a fancy-ish TH far from DMV and lots of people find that a weird decision, including some of my neighbors. My kids share a BR and I was shocked to find sharing was on a list of poverty markers that would qualify a family for subsidized utility rates.

People have a lot of ideas in their head about dream places to live, just like they have dreams about kids. I only meant that OP should not overextend on housing. Thinking about apartment living is the closest shorthand I know for that.


That is silly. My home is 2.5m and my 2 kids share a room. Not a big deal and def not a poverty marker. Children like to share rooms.
Anonymous
Get a low pressure job and apply for benefits like housing, food stamps, WIC etc
But have cash saved up. I think they don’t even punish for assets nowadays.
Anonymous
You should only do it if you have a support network in place to help you care for the child and if you have the resources/ability to care for a special needs child (not that you're going to have one, but best to be prepared just in case).
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:Get a low pressure job and apply for benefits like housing, food stamps, WIC etc
But have cash saved up. I think they don’t even punish for assets nowadays.


Terrible advice. All government help would come to less than what you're making right now. If fact, it's quite possible that you won't even qualify for much of it.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:35k 401k
150 equity
20k savings


Hell no. You are too poor. You will seriously struggle.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?



37 year old single mom here. Don’t do it. Enjoy your money and your freedom.
Anonymous
I know a couple people who did it alone and both moved in with parents. I think It would be difficult without help or a good network.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?



Irresponsible to have a child without a committed partner and it is grossly unfair to a child.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?



Irresponsible to have a child without a committed partner and it is grossly unfair to a child.


There are many useless dads you know
Anonymous
Work out the finances. Can you go live at home with parents? Move to a LCOL area? Then do it on your own. Make sure you have a financial plan and a support system for relief and security.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:
Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?



Irresponsible to have a child without a committed partner and it is grossly unfair to a child.


The kid will be fine
Anonymous
I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.
Anonymous
Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.


I am foreign born, grew up in a household of a poor single mom in a tiny apartment. Began working at 16 and didn’t speak a word of English until 21. Went to a public school, got my bachelors and grad degrees on scholarships. By age 27 I was making 85k a year; 400k/year by age 40. I started driving at 34, after my net worth was at $1mm. I never had expensive hobbies as a child but I ski, play tennis and sky drive as adult

Kids don’t need a $2mm house or private schools to grow up successful functional adults. They just need educated, smart parent(s) and a loving environment. OP can grow a heathy well adjusted child on her own. Or she can rush into marriage and completely destroy her child psychologically in divorce with some jerk.
Anonymous
DCUM is not the place for this question and skews very socially conservative plus wealthy. Find some single mom by choice groups locally and reach out to them. I am not a SMBC but have two friends who are and these groups seem very supportive and tight. They're always trading childcare in a way I'm frankly envious of and really rely on each other. On its face, 95k sounds lower than my friends, but I am sure it can be done.
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