37 single, want a baby, make about 95k a year

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

How many single moms are you helping?

I am one myself

How many are helping? None.

But as I said I am one and I am fine. Very little help.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

The question should really be about whether the child feels happy with this arrangement.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

"It’s better for the children to have someone to share the burden and not have a single mom who is solely dependent on them both in her old age and often as lines tend to get blurred even when they are young."

Ouch!

-Widowed mom

Sadly, I know a few like this. Awful for the child.
Think Big Edie and Little Edie.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

The question should really be about whether the child feels happy with this arrangement.

Only if you’re asking all children if they are happy with their family situation and all their parents choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Can you afford childcare? Do you have a support system in place to help? Do you have adequate leave banked at work so that you can take off when the child is sick?

The support system should be the father.

Surely, you can comprehend that there are other support systems for raising children like grandparents and aunts and uncles, etc.? And that likewise, not all husbands function well as either support systems or fathers? Why do you think so many people get divorced?

You’re suggesting that because some fathers may not function well, op doesn’t need one.
Btw, some mothers don’t function well.
You’re already putting the child at a disadvantage because of other “fathers and husbands.”

No, I’m not suggesting that at all. OP didn’t find a great man and she’s 37 and she earns enough money and wants to be a mom. It’s basically now or never. I’m suggesting that OP should go ahead and make her dream to be a mom come true and that she doesn’t need a man to do it. Would it be better to have a great husband on this road to parenthood? Of course! But that didn’t happen yet and she doesn’t have much time to waste looking for one. Maybe she can give it another year or two, but chances are she’ll just get desperate and choose a not so great guy because of it. She’s much better off doing it alone.

What I don’t think she should do is accept your ridiculous view that she must have a man to be a mom and that because she doesn’t have one, should resign her life to being a spinster with cats or dogs or whatever it is you think people unlucky in love must do instead of having children.

And I also think she’s far more likely to find a decent man down the road when she’s not desperate.

What you are suggesting is not what is best for a child.
The derogatory name you call single women is so sexist and offensive. Not all “spinsters” have lives revolves around having cats or dogs.
What a way to put women down! Sexist ass

Ireland just enacted legislation redefining the notion of a family. Kids adapt and no, it’s not a big deal to grow up with one excellent parent who cares. I had a much better life growing up with my single mom than my poor child who was torn after divorce between two houses

Statistically children are worse off with single parents. No amount of wishing ot cheerleading changes that.

Not if the parents were educated and one or both parents are UMC. Plus you have to compare it to the children of dysfunctional couples who stay together, those outcomes aren’t great either.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

The question should really be about whether the child feels happy with this arrangement.

Only if you’re asking all children if they are happy with their family situation and all their parents choices.

Here you go https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230249891_Life_Satisfaction_Among_Children_in_Different_Family_Structures_A_Comparative_Study_of_36_Western_Societies

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The happiest people I know are single moms by choice. They all seem to have a great support network set up and are able to parent and live as they please.

The question should really be about whether the child feels happy with this arrangement.

Only if you’re asking all children if they are happy with their family situation and all their parents choices.

Here you go https://www.researchgate.net/publication/230249891_Life_Satisfaction_Among_Children_in_Different_Family_Structures_A_Comparative_Study_of_36_Western_Societies

https://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/abs/pii/S0190740917305467

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am sorry but the baby stage is the pricey but it does not get easier. My two kids are in sports and activities that cost $10k a year. Think wisely. They might love expensive hobbies and are very happy doing them so yu should plan for that. Also, private schools. Then, we take world vacations at about $28k a year, and then there is college. My 17 yo can expect to amass a price tag of $180 - 200k in the next 4 years. Then there is clothes, food, and all of the other daily stuff. My teen got a $20k car for her birthday too. I am married and have an income double yours alone. And, we plan and budget accordingly. I would be very careful. I see a lot of single Mom's really struggling to provide everything.

This is ridiculous and reads as satire.

Right.. I’m waiting for PP to post in a few years about how her DD, despite the best that money could buy, ended up an unwed mom/college dropout, who turned to drugs, the pole, and PP’s spacious walkout basement, to support her crank habit.

[Anonymous]

What are you doing to put yourself out there to try to meet a partner?

Fwiw, I have a number of colleagues who are single moms by choice. They make a good living and have support from their parents, but they are exhausted and stretched thin since they don’t have the same support a partner would provide.

When I was in college, a babysat for a single mom by choice who was battling cancer. I stayed at her home for a week during her surgery and initial recovery. I was terrified for her as well as her kid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What are you doing to put yourself out there to try to meet a partner?

Fwiw, I have a number of colleagues who are single moms by choice. They make a good living and have support from their parents, but they are exhausted and stretched thin since they don’t have the same support a partner would provide.

When I was in college, a babysat for a single mom by choice who was battling cancer. I stayed at her home for a week during her surgery and initial recovery. I was terrified for her as well as her kid.

This is the thing. There is no backup. It doesn’t matter how many people say they will be your village and help before you have the kid. They won’t do a fraction of what they say or what is needed. You need money to pay for backup and you don’t have it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Try to find a partner with the same values and goals

This. Don’t take shortcuts. You can do this.

She is almost out of time
If she couldn’t find anyone until now why would she now?

They can adopt or use reproductive technology. The key is to try to have children grow up in a stable 2 parent household if possible

You are offering the woman to inflict significant physical discomfort on herself or let go of the hope to have a bio child? Hmmm

Get your meds straight.

Haha how many did you adopt despite being able to have bio kids? lol

How many single moms are you helping?

I am one myself

How many are helping? None.

But as I said I am one and I am fine. Very little help.

So you aren’t helping any.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

How hot are you?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I am single, newly 37, want kids, never married. What advice would you give me?

How hot are you?

Incredibly hot

[Anonymous]

Eharmony.com

[Anonymous]

Everyone on this board jumps on women who post to complain or just vent that their partners don't help around the house or make enough money, even though these women didn't anticipate these division of labor or financial issues when they got married and/or decided to have a baby.

If OP wants to have a child on her own with her known financial situation and work ethic, all the more power to her. Children are amazing.