Having kids sucks!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. I'm a father of two and I'm just beside myself at the sacrifices that I'm having to make to raise two kids. If I'd known it was going to be this much work I would've had 1 child or none at all.
I've been telling most of my childless friends not to have kids (when they ask). DW overheard me saying that and
got mad and claimed that "I don't love our family". We had a spirited discussion and now she's giving me funny looks. But I can't be the only one that things having kids is way too much work and might not be worth it.

Troll post

Just say you can’t relate and move on. Sheesh.

[Anonymous]

This thread is very interesting to me because I feel like it all comes down to whether you think sacrificing your own pleasure (not happiness, but pleasure) for someone else's wellbeing is worthwhile.

I do. There are times when I struggle with the sacrifices I make and have mad for my kids, but all it takes is a few minutes of being around them or thinking about them to feel like it is worthwhile. It doesn't mean I don't mourn the sacrifices, but it's worth it.

I have felt more at peace since having children because of this sense that I am doing something meaningful with my life. Maybe only meaningful to me and them, but still meaningful. So I understand feeling tired, burnt out, frustrated, etc. But I don't get feeling resentment or wishing you had never had kids. The alternative sounds so empty to me now that I know what this version feels like.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'll never understand these posts, or the people who complain about adopting dogs. How do you go into these things so blind?!

OP, had you spent long lengths of time around children before you had kids? How on earth could you have been so ignorant to the responsibility, time, energy, and money drain?

Not OP but I was definitely ignorant to it. I never had snot nosed kids around before my own kid. It’s a lot!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

+1

I have a friend with a 3min th old whose husband told her this week that he dreads coming home to the baby. My heart broke for her.

Truthfully a lot of men don’t enjoy babies but do enjoy kids when they are older.

[Anonymous]

You need to grow up, son.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. I'm a father of two and I'm just beside myself at the sacrifices that I'm having to make to raise two kids. If I'd known it was going to be this much work I would've had 1 child or none at all.
I've been telling most of my childless friends not to have kids (when they ask). DW overheard me saying that and
got mad and claimed that "I don't love our family". We had a spirited discussion and now she's giving me funny looks. But I can't be the only one that things having kids is way too much work and might not be worth it.

How did you not figure this out after kid 1? You are a slow learner.

+1000 should have stopped at 1. You are slooowwww…

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP of this thread. First off I love my kids. But to pretend that I'm not making huge sacrifices everyday would just be straight up delusional.
My kids are 7 and 5 and it's hard! I work a full time job, and DW works we have kids sports, homework, housework, enrichment activities. It's a lot.
My father didn't do half the stuff that I'm doing. When he came home from work we knew to leave him alone. I do not have that luxury. It's like I start a second shift when I get home.
So yes I tell my friends when they ask that it sucks. Will it get better maybe but for now it's pretty rough.

Facts! Dad’s back in the didn’t do half the sh#t dads do today. It makes a difference and no wonder they had 10 kids back then. Dads are expected to split half the duties now days! Im glad OP is telling his friends the truth!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My husband feels this way. He took it out on me in so many ways for years, even though he had said he wanted kids and even said he wanted another. On the one hand, I'm glad that I don't feel this way. On the other hand, I do think it's connected with a larger selfishness and narcissism.

It’s not narcissism. Kids will fully change your life! Full stop!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

+1

I have a friend with a 3min th old whose husband told her this week that he dreads coming home to the baby. My heart broke for her.

Truthfully a lot of men don’t enjoy babies but do enjoy kids when they are older.

I didn’t pitch in with my kids until they were pre teens and self sufficient so hang in there man.

[Anonymous]

I saw your update. Stop doing all those activities. It’s not necessary

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

+1

I have a friend with a 3min th old whose husband told her this week that he dreads coming home to the baby. My heart broke for her.

Men really need to start speaking up for themselves if they don't want kids and stop just going along with her plans. I think if more guys were honest these situations would happen a lot less.

NP. My DH desperately wanted kids. We even dealt with infertility, and yet he was still all in on the idea. Then I guess the reality of parenting set in, and now he's more like the OP.
Stop blaming the women.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Team OP but this is why I made a conscious decision not to have kids despite all the crap I get from DH’s family, society, even “friends”.

+1

I have a friend with a 3min th old whose husband told her this week that he dreads coming home to the baby. My heart broke for her.

Truthfully a lot of men don’t enjoy babies but do enjoy kids when they are older.

Truthfully a lot of men should share their ugly thoughts with their therapists.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm the OP of this thread. First off I love my kids. But to pretend that I'm not making huge sacrifices everyday would just be straight up delusional.
My kids are 7 and 5 and it's hard! I work a full time job, and DW works we have kids sports, homework, housework, enrichment activities. It's a lot.
My father didn't do half the stuff that I'm doing. When he came home from work we knew to leave him alone. I do not have that luxury. It's like I start a second shift when I get home.
So yes I tell my friends when they ask that it sucks. Will it get better maybe but for now it's pretty rough.

Shocker! Who could have guessed?

[Anonymous]

Im in the teen years bow and ill have to disagree it gets easier. In some ways it gets worse— stakes are higher: getting good grades, scores, ECs to get into college(we are failing on this front), making sure kids dont get into drinking, drugs, trouble with sex or bad crowds; driving, volatile adolescent tempers. I have girls. The 11 year old is stiol a gem, mostly. The 14 year old is all slamming doors, telling us to f off, asking for expensive things always, not lifting a finger aroubd the house, report card full of Cs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There I said it. I'm a father of two and I'm just beside myself at the sacrifices that I'm having to make to raise two kids. If I'd known it was going to be this much work I would've had 1 child or none at all.
I've been telling most of my childless friends not to have kids (when they ask). DW overheard me saying that and
got mad and claimed that "I don't love our family". We had a spirited discussion and now she's giving me funny looks. But I can't be the only one that things having kids is way too much work and might not be worth it.

You shouldn’t have been allowed to reproduce and become a parent. There I said it