Brother’s Wife Asked for a piece of Jewlery

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

I'm the one defending OP here - and I think it's also different if the niece (or nephew!) asks OP for a piece of jewelry. I think it's different if the brother asks.

SIL should not be asking. It's not her mother.

What is that old saying? OP, take a long walk off a short pier.

You are a horrible excuse for a human being.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how would you have felt if your brother had been the one who asked for a piece of your mother's jewelry?

I must admit I would feel differently because that’s his mother as well.

Is he going to wear it?

No, but he might enjoy seeing his wife wearing a piece of her jewelry. Finding it within you to part with ONE piece for the wife of your brother should not be this difficult.

My husband’s mother passed away before we met, his brothers gave me one of her necklaces at our rehearsal dinner. Every time I wear it, it makes my husband happy because it reminds him of his mom.

Also, I was very touched that they did that.

It was offered. You didn't ask. OP should offer - but it doesn't have to be today. It can be after she's grieved a little more.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

I'm the one defending OP here - and I think it's also different if the niece (or nephew!) asks OP for a piece of jewelry. I think it's different if the brother asks.

SIL should not be asking. It's not her mother.

What? The niece is further removed than a DIL? Most nieces and nephews aren’t around their aunt and uncles as much into adulthood. However a DIL a lot of times contributes to her elder care or at least helps support her husband in the care of his mother.

OP's niece is the mother's grandkid. Of course a grandkid can ask. And the brother - OP's sibling, the mother's child - can of course ask, too.

We don't know all the context. If the DIL is asking for a piece of costume jewelry OP doesn't care about because it has sentimental value, that's one thing. From how OP wrote her post, that;s not how it sounds. SIL shouldn't have a windfall, or ask for a windfall, while OP is grieving like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how would you have felt if your brother had been the one who asked for a piece of your mother's jewelry?

I must admit I would feel differently because that’s his mother as well.

Is he going to wear it?

No, but he might enjoy seeing his wife wearing a piece of her jewelry. Finding it within you to part with ONE piece for the wife of your brother should not be this difficult.

My husband’s mother passed away before we met, his brothers gave me one of her necklaces at our rehearsal dinner. Every time I wear it, it makes my husband happy because it reminds him of his mom.

Also, I was very touched that they did that.

It was offered. You didn't ask. OP should offer - but it doesn't have to be today. It can be after she's grieved a little more.

Interesting you are telling OP what to do.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

I'm the one defending OP here - and I think it's also different if the niece (or nephew!) asks OP for a piece of jewelry. I think it's different if the brother asks.

SIL should not be asking. It's not her mother.

What? The niece is further removed than a DIL? Most nieces and nephews aren’t around their aunt and uncles as much into adulthood. However a DIL a lot of times contributes to her elder care or at least helps support her husband in the care of his mother.

OP's niece is the mother's grandkid. Of course a grandkid can ask. And the brother - OP's sibling, the mother's child - can of course ask, too.

We don't know all the context. If the DIL is asking for a piece of costume jewelry OP doesn't care about because it has sentimental value, that's one thing. From how OP wrote her post, that;s not how it sounds. SIL shouldn't have a windfall, or ask for a windfall, while OP is grieving like this.

A piece of jewelry to a blood relative is a windfall?? To whom?? By what measure?? God help you, for real.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They were close for 20 years and presumably she loved your mom. A piece of jewelry is fine.

It's fine if it's offered - it's not fine to ask.

Why?

Because it's not her mother. You can be close with your in laws - but unless the MIL gave the SIL some jewelry, or told her she wanted her to have some of it, it's for the daughter. Jewelry can have a special significance - it sounds like that's the case here. If the mother didn't say she wanted it to go in a different way, it goes to the daughter - and then the daughter can decide if she wants to share.

Maybe the SIL can ask at some point - especially if there's a special piece that means a lot to her, and probably won't mean as much to the daughter. But probably not while OP is in the thick of grief. It should have been the brother broaching this, if at all, in any case - not demanding any of the jewelry, but saying his wife has an attachment to such and suck piece, and how does OP feel about giving it to her. SIL should not have been the one asking.

OP, come on, this is you, right?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

I'm the one defending OP here - and I think it's also different if the niece (or nephew!) asks OP for a piece of jewelry. I think it's different if the brother asks.

SIL should not be asking. It's not her mother.

What? The niece is further removed than a DIL? Most nieces and nephews aren’t around their aunt and uncles as much into adulthood. However a DIL a lot of times contributes to her elder care or at least helps support her husband in the care of his mother.

OP's niece is the mother's grandkid. Of course a grandkid can ask. And the brother - OP's sibling, the mother's child - can of course ask, too.

We don't know all the context. If the DIL is asking for a piece of costume jewelry OP doesn't care about because it has sentimental value, that's one thing. From how OP wrote her post, that;s not how it sounds. SIL shouldn't have a windfall, or ask for a windfall, while OP is grieving like this.

A piece of jewelry to a blood relative is a windfall?? To whom?? By what measure?? God help you, for real.

How is the SIL a blood relative?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

How old is your daughter? Is she old enough that she would feel comfortable asking? If not, would you not ask for her?

I certainly would! OP is over reacting and being over protective of what she sees as "hers" - but it is not hers, at all.

I can see OP wanting to have first dibs and not sharing much at all, if anything, because of OP's obvious selfishness, self centeredness and greed - according to OP's own post. OP wants to think that she and her kids are the only ones that matter, and if there is more than one grandchild (which OP indicated that there is) that is simply not true.

Even my MIL, who isn't the nicest or most thoughtful, or particularly close to me, would want my daughter to have a nice piece that has historical significance. MIL surely would not give all the (for example) wedding/engagement rings to one kid - she would divide them up evenly - those would be three pieces to divide. If for no other reason, MIL would be fair and equal, so as to not tarnish her own legacy or create drama.

OP, you seem to like drama!

*ie: three pieces, to three different families - or otherwise divided evenly (not to just one couple or person).

[Anonymous]

OP: You need change up your voice a little in the fake posts you're writing in your own defense. It's quite obvious. You mention OP "grieving" in everyone of them. Meanwhile, your OP didn't sound like grief, it sounded like jealousy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

I'm the one defending OP here - and I think it's also different if the niece (or nephew!) asks OP for a piece of jewelry. I think it's different if the brother asks.

SIL should not be asking. It's not her mother.

What? The niece is further removed than a DIL? Most nieces and nephews aren’t around their aunt and uncles as much into adulthood. However a DIL a lot of times contributes to her elder care or at least helps support her husband in the care of his mother.

OP's niece is the mother's grandkid. Of course a grandkid can ask. And the brother - OP's sibling, the mother's child - can of course ask, too.

We don't know all the context. If the DIL is asking for a piece of costume jewelry OP doesn't care about because it has sentimental value, that's one thing. From how OP wrote her post, that;s not how it sounds. SIL shouldn't have a windfall, or ask for a windfall, while OP is grieving like this.

Read for understanding, people. OP’s brother and SIL do not have a daughter.

Of course we don’t know all the context, only the OP’s side of things. And from her original post, OP is not showing a whole lotta grief here, just rage and distain for her brother and SIL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Sorry for your loss. I can see why you are upset that she asked but in the interest of family harmony, there must be at least one piece that you do not care for that you can give to your SIL.

My MIL has a ton of jewelry and I fully expect it all to go to my SIL. I do not plan to ask for anything. My dd would likely ask for a piece. She really doesn’t wear jewelry but would want something to remember her grandma. I’m sure your sil is asking for the same reason and not to encroach on your inheritance.

I'm the one defending OP here - and I think it's also different if the niece (or nephew!) asks OP for a piece of jewelry. I think it's different if the brother asks.

SIL should not be asking. It's not her mother.

What? The niece is further removed than a DIL? Most nieces and nephews aren’t around their aunt and uncles as much into adulthood. However a DIL a lot of times contributes to her elder care or at least helps support her husband in the care of his mother.

OP's niece is the mother's grandkid. Of course a grandkid can ask. And the brother - OP's sibling, the mother's child - can of course ask, too.

We don't know all the context. If the DIL is asking for a piece of costume jewelry OP doesn't care about because it has sentimental value, that's one thing. From how OP wrote her post, that;s not how it sounds. SIL shouldn't have a windfall, or ask for a windfall, while OP is grieving like this.

A piece of jewelry to a blood relative is a windfall?? To whom?? By what measure?? God help you, for real.

How is the SIL a blood relative?

Even if it is not a blood relative - it is not a "windfall", by any stretch of the word.

Good God, the drama.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP: You need change up your voice a little in the fake posts you're writing in your own defense. It's quite obvious. You mention OP "grieving" in everyone of them. Meanwhile, your OP didn't sound like grief, it sounded like jealousy.

x1000000

OP has never liked the SIL, and this is OP's way of "sticking it to" the SIL. So gross. Grow up, OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how would you have felt if your brother had been the one who asked for a piece of your mother's jewelry?

I must admit I would feel differently because that’s his mother as well.

Is he going to wear it?

No, but he might enjoy seeing his wife wearing a piece of her jewelry. Finding it within you to part with ONE piece for the wife of your brother should not be this difficult.

My husband’s mother passed away before we met, his brothers gave me one of her necklaces at our rehearsal dinner. Every time I wear it, it makes my husband happy because it reminds him of his mom.

Also, I was very touched that they did that.

It was offered. You didn't ask. OP should offer - but it doesn't have to be today. It can be after she's grieved a little more.

Interesting you are telling OP what to do.

DP. OP needs to be told the right thing to do since it doesn't occur to her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP - how would you have felt if your brother had been the one who asked for a piece of your mother's jewelry?

I must admit I would feel differently because that’s his mother as well.

Is he going to wear it?

No, but he might enjoy seeing his wife wearing a piece of her jewelry. Finding it within you to part with ONE piece for the wife of your brother should not be this difficult.

My husband’s mother passed away before we met, his brothers gave me one of her necklaces at our rehearsal dinner. Every time I wear it, it makes my husband happy because it reminds him of his mom.

Also, I was very touched that they did that.

It was offered. You didn't ask. OP should offer - but it doesn't have to be today. It can be after she's grieved a little more.

My point wasn’t that - it was that it made my husband happy…which might be what your..I mean OP’s… SIL’s goal was.

Also, I have a SIL who I’m sure will be angling for some of my mom’s jewelry because my brother is fixated on squeezing the most out of my parents’ estate. I don’t even think they will ask, if they ‘get there’ first - so I understand feeling possessive of your mom’s jewelry, but there is nothing inappropriate about your…I mean OP’s…SIL’s request. It sounds like they are respecting the idea that OP has first dibs on the jewelry.

I also suspect they know OP is unlikely to offer out of the goodnesses of her heart.

[Anonymous]

Unless your name is Anne, The Princess Royal, you are wrong. These are not the Crown Jewels.