Great aunt died during Thanksgiving

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

Ok, not to sound heartless here, but it's a great aunt (not a grand aunt--that's just not how that works). She was obviously elderly and it was her time. And how close is anybody, really to even their aunts, much less their great aunts? This is the normal course of life, this is not an untimely death. OP is really reaching for a reason to be the center of all sympathy and attention here. The VM was fine. And by the way, you don't even have to listen to VMs these days, just read it. Is there a single VM system that doesn't transcribe the message?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t checked my voicemail in years. Sometimes I check the voicemail to text but it’s always medical offices, school stuff. Anyone I know would text or call a second time. I don’t think you’re a jerk OP, but just apologize and move on. I think it’s a generational thing.

It must be- this is nuts to me. How old are you? I assume if I leave a voicemail, especially at work, people listen to it. Even personal, though I do rarely leave voicemails to people other than family….

45, and I don’t know a single person my age who still uses voicemail. Really. We text.

If I see a missed call by someone important to me, I return the call. But I don’t listen or leave voicemails unless it is some sort of business office.

Then why don’t you simply deactivate your voicemail? (Bet you won’t answer.)

Because I don’t feel like it, and because it doesn’t affect me at all not to do so.

By having it, and having it not full or deactivated, you are welcoming people to leave you a message. You are providing a means for them to leave you a voicemail, and then you are getting frustrated and exasperated with them for leaving you a voicemail.

Not very bright, eh?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly I'd be pissed at you for not listening to my VM for 7 days too. You make excuses but it does not look good from where your mom is sitting.

It’s weird to call, leave a VM that Great Aunt Larla died, not follow up, and then berate someone over it a week later.

It is not. Her mom likely responded to the OP. She gave you the information. You ignored it. You responded to her and she responds back accordingly. You are an adult. Lesson learned. Yiu were given information. You ignored it. That's not her fault.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

You leave a voice-mail if the person doesn't answer the phone I'd rather leave a voice mail than text about a death. I'm young and I use visual voice-mail. It turns my voice mails into text messages for me to see. So I read my voice messages.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

Ok, not to sound heartless here, but it's a great aunt (not a grand aunt--that's just not how that works). She was obviously elderly and it was her time. And how close is anybody, really to even their aunts, much less their great aunts? This is the normal course of life, this is not an untimely death. OP is really reaching for a reason to be the center of all sympathy and attention here. The VM was fine. And by the way, you don't even have to listen to VMs these days, just read it. Is there a single VM system that doesn't transcribe the message?

If it's not that important then who cares that she found out a week later in a phone conversation with her mom.

What size font is that?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

You leave a voice-mail if the person doesn't answer the phone I'd rather leave a voice mail than text about a death. I'm young and I use visual voice-mail. It turns my voice mails into text messages for me to see. So I read my voice messages.

If a person is busy, you text them. Hey I have something to tell you, not an emergency I'll call you in the AM.

Okay hon, just wait until you need to take pictures of stuff with your phone and blow them up just to be able to read them.

[Anonymous]

100% facts that those of you droning on about how “no one our age listens to voicemail” cannot figure out HOW to deactivate voicemail! Oops, you are such modern wizards of technology but cannot admit that you *don’t know how* to deactivate it. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

So text is better? I think its worse. People miss texts all the time anyway. There is no fool proof communication. At the very least OP could have called her mom to wish her a Happy Thanksgiving to return the sentiment. Then she would have got the news sooner.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

You leave a voice-mail if the person doesn't answer the phone I'd rather leave a voice mail than text about a death. I'm young and I use visual voice-mail. It turns my voice mails into text messages for me to see. So I read my voice messages.

If a person is busy, you text them. Hey I have something to tell you, not an emergency I'll call you in the AM.

Okay hon, just wait until you need to take pictures of stuff with your phone and blow them up just to be able to read them.

Or you call me when you’re not busy. Some of you really think the earth revolves around you and people should pill out all the stops to get a hold of you. You aren’t that important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

You leave a voice-mail if the person doesn't answer the phone I'd rather leave a voice mail than text about a death. I'm young and I use visual voice-mail. It turns my voice mails into text messages for me to see. So I read my voice messages.

If a person is busy, you text them. Hey I have something to tell you, not an emergency I'll call you in the AM.

Okay hon, just wait until you need to take pictures of stuff with your phone and blow them up just to be able to read them.

What were all missing Is the OP didn’t listen to the voicemail. She probably would not have responded to her mom’s text. I bet this is not the first one. She admited that she thought it just said happy Thanksgiving, and then began to explain about her busy week.

Her poor moM was probably expecting a text or a phone call back the whole week, and even during this conversation Mom was expecting OP to say something sympathetic, but then she got berated.

OP, listen to voicemails even if it just says happy third Thanksgiving. ESPECIALLY from your mom. If she can take 45 seconds to give you a call you can take 20 seconds to listen to it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

Ok, not to sound heartless here, but it's a great aunt (not a grand aunt--that's just not how that works). She was obviously elderly and it was her time. And how close is anybody, really to even their aunts, much less their great aunts? This is the normal course of life, this is not an untimely death. OP is really reaching for a reason to be the center of all sympathy and attention here. The VM was fine. And by the way, you don't even have to listen to VMs these days, just read it. Is there a single VM system that doesn't transcribe the message?

If it's not that important then who cares that she found out a week later in a phone conversation with her mom.

What size font is that?

Why are you getting ageist about people who have better phone skills? OP can’t figure out voicemail or transcribed voicemails. Why is that? Should her mom show her?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My great-aunt had been sick for several months. I and my mother and sister had visited her several times in recent months given her illness. I was talking to my mom today for about 30 minutes on other topics when suddenly and casually she drops it that my great-aunt died during Thanksgiving. It has been almost a week by now. My mom said she left me a voicemail on the day she dies. She had indeed left me a voicemail, which I assume was a general Thanksgiving greeting (by the way, she does not come to our Thanksgiving because she hates my dad, whom she divorced decades ago, and dislikes my husband's family, whom she finds chaotic). She then proceeded to savage me that I don't pick up the phone and that she is not responsible for people listening to their voicemails and generally got really nasty and mean with me. I don't know how to react. She knew I had over 20 guest for Thanksgiving and that it was a very busy time (I also have three small children and a demanding job). There was no text, no additional call, no sympathy, nothing, just a savage attack on me for my failings in getting her voicemail. Am I the jerk here? I don't know how to process this and feel like my mom just carved a hole in my chest (not an uncommon feeling I get when dealing with her).

I mean your mother is correct that she is not responsible for getting other people to listen to their VMs. Instead of apologizing, you want “sympathy?” What? You want additional follow up? Do you have some executive processing issue? Because your expectations are completely whack. Yes, you could and should have listened to a VM from your mother in 7 days even though you had 20 people over to your house and you have 3 children. Instead of saying sorry, you behaved like a child trying to shift blame to your mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Your mother left you a message seven days ago and you haven’t checked it? Weird.

I am old, in my 50s and I never check my voicemail. If anything is urgent people will text and call again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I haven’t checked my voicemail in years. Sometimes I check the voicemail to text but it’s always medical offices, school stuff. Anyone I know would text or call a second time. I don’t think you’re a jerk OP, but just apologize and move on. I think it’s a generational thing.

It must be- this is nuts to me. How old are you? I assume if I leave a voicemail, especially at work, people listen to it. Even personal, though I do rarely leave voicemails to people other than family….

45, and I don’t know a single person my age who still uses voicemail. Really. We text.

If I see a missed call by someone important to me, I return the call. But I don’t listen or leave voicemails unless it is some sort of business office.

Then why don’t you simply deactivate your voicemail? (Bet you won’t answer.)

Because I don’t feel like it, and because it doesn’t affect me at all not to do so.

By having it, and having it not full or deactivated, you are welcoming people to leave you a message. You are providing a means for them to leave you a voicemail, and then you are getting frustrated and exasperated with them for leaving you a voicemail.

Not very bright, eh?

I’m not getting exasperation or frustrated because people I care about don’t leave me voicemails! They text or call.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:If you left an important voicemail at a dentist or doctor’s office and they didn’t respond, wouldn’t you follow up? Same concept here.

Also, it’s very rude to tell someone that a person died over voicemail.

No it's not the same.

If somebody dies in my family nobody in my family is leaving a voice mail, how heartless is that.

Ok, not to sound heartless here, but it's a great aunt (not a grand aunt--that's just not how that works). She was obviously elderly and it was her time. And how close is anybody, really to even their aunts, much less their great aunts? This is the normal course of life, this is not an untimely death. OP is really reaching for a reason to be the center of all sympathy and attention here. The VM was fine. And by the way, you don't even have to listen to VMs these days, just read it. Is there a single VM system that doesn't transcribe the message?

Not PP but I was very close to my great aunts and I don’t think it’s ever appropriate to notify someone of a family death through voicemail. Just call until they answer, or leave a text asking them to call you.