Pressure in marriage

[Anonymous]

What’s the worst that happens, if you stick to your guns? For some reason, you are terrified of his reaction; it’s intolerable to you.

I hate to say it but I don’t think you will leave him. But you have the ability to change the dynamic by changing your own behavior within the relationship, not his.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Why not do what most married couples do and get a condo in this area and then get a house down there and spend half the time in each place? You could even each live in one and see each other sparingly?

TIL that most married couples buy a second house so they can get away from each other.

OP did have a second property (a rental?), at least per her account, when she left him last time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Boat wife, I remember your former threads.

I think I replied about a victim complex. I feel like you’re still not in a place of taking responsibility and of putting everything on him. It takes two to get into this place. How are you guys almost putting the house on the market if he didn’t get a yes/ok signal from you somewhere down the line? I’m getting the feeling from his responses that you were never totally transparent with him. Probably from fear of conflict. But that’s partly a dynamic you can change, and a dynamic you are partly responsible for.

You’re also very ambivalent about the relationship. You don’t want to leave or stay. I feel like neither of you has a very strong sense of self and this is preventing you from resolving your relationship issues.

I agree with this entire post- OP is taking no ownership of her role in the dynamic whatsoever. In her latest update she even says that she keeps telling her husband she’s not “ready” for the move— has she even made it clear to him that she doesn’t want to move at all?!? From my reading of it he could reasonably think she is anxious and dragging her feet.

If you want to divorce, OP- then divorce!!