Parents of 1-2 kids- are you happy or do you regret not having few more

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

NP. You don't? PP said she doesn't let small stuff go, is very Type A, and "too involved" with her kids so she knew she shouldn't have more than two kids. How is that "unfriendly?"

[Anonymous]

Im an only child and loved it. So i knew what a family with 1 kid can look like. We left it to nature and had a second. I love my two girls but we are totally done. The dynamic between them is fascinating and exhausting and i want to be able to give them all the attention i have. If i didn't WOH and was very inti my job, maybe id think differently. I had my first at 34 after some losses and second at 38 so my body was naturally done and I couldn't deal with any more sleepless nights at this age. I wouldn't trade my youngest for anything but if we weren't able to have another, I made peace with it well before she showed up as a line on a test. I have friends with 3 who love that dynamic and friends with 1 who love a very different lifestyle than us (more travel, more work flexibility etc) and it works well for them and they are content with their family size.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

Yes it was. I acknoledged lots of parents cope with larger families without issue. You decide to make a dig, not me. You are the one unable to acknowledge there is nothing wrong with parents only wanting 1-2 kids.

That's not what you said and you know it. Just own it, no need to be passive aggressive and then gaslight.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

NP. You don't? PP said she doesn't let small stuff go, is very Type A, and "too involved" with her kids so she knew she shouldn't have more than two kids. How is that "unfriendly?"

Lots of parents of three or more managae to also be involved, type A and not let the small stuff go. Again, maybe PP is just low energy. No shame in admitting that!

[Anonymous]

Just one.

Can afford what we need to provide re schooling, housing, therapies, etc.

For those who are big on the environmental and sustainability concerns, obviously larger families = larger impact in everything regardless if you drive an EV and have a garden in your yard and bike to work, for this and next generation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

NP. You don't? PP said she doesn't let small stuff go, is very Type A, and "too involved" with her kids so she knew she shouldn't have more than two kids. How is that "unfriendly?"

Lots of parents of three or more managae to also be involved, type A and not let the small stuff go. Again, maybe PP is just low energy. No shame in admitting that!

You obviously think it is or you wouldn't be slinging it as an insult.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two kids.

I regret not having one more. But, on the other hand, we would be able to afford much less and it would have altered the course of our lives a bit. Still..we wish we had one more.

This is me as well, I’m an only, hated it and always wanted 3-4 and my husband who is one of four and loved it felt the same.

We easily had our first two in our early thirties and then tried for several years but were unable to conceive again naturally- explored pursuing fertility treatments (which felt hard to justify with two healthy kids) or adoption but never pulled the trigger. That ship has now pretty much sailed and I’m very grateful for the children I have and recognize that there are also advantages of having a smaller family- we travel a ton, which is admittedly much easier as a family of four and probably have a more comfortable lifestyle, but I still feel the regret of not having a larger family and like something is missing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

NP. You don't? PP said she doesn't let small stuff go, is very Type A, and "too involved" with her kids so she knew she shouldn't have more than two kids. How is that "unfriendly?"

Lots of parents of three or more managae to also be involved, type A and not let the small stuff go. Again, maybe PP is just low energy. No shame in admitting that!

DP - you really should just admit you're being needlessly mean. The PP who described herself as Type A wasn't using "too involved" to brag - she was being candid about her strengths and weaknesses as a parent. Also, she's right; parents of 3+, at least the happy ones, typically do let the small stuff go because it's that or be a tightly-wound jerk. It's the parents who try to parent 3+ kids as if they had one who seem the most miserable, at least IME. Embrace the chaos!

[Anonymous]

My sons are best friends. I started having kids older due to medical school debt and would have wanted a third.

[Anonymous]

https://www.tiktok.com/@newyorkjeff/video/7210172353031064874

This guy made me not want to have an only.

[Anonymous]

I have one and I really want a second. (some chance that it might still happen.) But no more than 2! I was an only child and wanted a sibling but found the family of 4 kids I knew too chaotic. 2 seems like a perfect number to me.

[Anonymous]

We have two and I regret not having a third. My kids would have been better adjusted with another sibling too.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

NP. You don't? PP said she doesn't let small stuff go, is very Type A, and "too involved" with her kids so she knew she shouldn't have more than two kids. How is that "unfriendly?"

Lots of parents of three or more managae to also be involved, type A and not let the small stuff go. Again, maybe PP is just low energy. No shame in admitting that!

DP - you really should just admit you're being needlessly mean. The PP who described herself as Type A wasn't using "too involved" to brag - she was being candid about her strengths and weaknesses as a parent. Also, she's right; parents of 3+, at least the happy ones, typically do let the small stuff go because it's that or be a tightly-wound jerk. It's the parents who try to parent 3+ kids as if they had one who seem the most miserable, at least IME. Embrace the chaos!

Are you a parent of three PP?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

NP. You don't? PP said she doesn't let small stuff go, is very Type A, and "too involved" with her kids so she knew she shouldn't have more than two kids. How is that "unfriendly?"

Lots of parents of three or more managae to also be involved, type A and not let the small stuff go. Again, maybe PP is just low energy. No shame in admitting that!

God DCUM sucks, why do I get on this website?

- not PP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Two kids, perfectly happy. I grew up one of three. It was always 2 vs 1 in fights. I didn't want that. 2 kids, 2 parents means workload is always even. And as someone wrote on this board once, "The world is designed for families of four."

Yes but with only two it’s 1:1 and then the parents always got involved or that’s how it was in my family. I’m not close to my only sibling who has had a lot of challenges over the years. I wish I had two siblings instead of one.