Parents of 1-2 kids- are you happy or do you regret not having few more

[Anonymous]

I desperately wanted two and my body decided that we would have one. I grieved for a long time, but the older mine gets the more I taste the sweetness of our cozy, tight little family. Our one child is so great, sunny and sweet. I can’t say that life shorted me.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have two (and I’m one of three). I’m happy with my two — definitely a conscious decision not to try for more due to financial and emotional constraints — but I’ve always wanted a huge family so I’m a little sad about it too if that makes sense? Like two is the right number for my family but I wish I had the time/energy/money/emotional chill to have like five. But I don’t. So I’ll just hope they both want kids someday and live near me so I can babysit my grandkids. Or maybe I’ll become a foster parent when my bio kids are launched and I’m retired.

+1 This is my situation exactly. I've thought about fostering from time to time. Maybe when I'm retired. I'm one of three and we stopped at two. I always wanted like six kids and when I got married my husband and I discussed having four. After the first one we were pretty overwhelmed/had many other things going on in our lives and we waited over 3 years to start trying for our second. That's all we can take on. We are done. If there was some scenario where I could easily afford to have a housekeeper and work part-time hours/just do regular volunteer work to keep myself stimulated I would probably have more kids. But I have student loans and have to work full time and with just two I don't feel like I have enough attention for them some days. Infants were also especially taxing for me, much more than I anticipated before having kids. I don't really want to go back to that phase.

Also I have two boys and I would like the "experience" of having a girl but it's not going to happen. I'm a little disappointed about that but it doesn't keep me up at night.

[Anonymous]

Have one (15).

Wanted 2+ very much. No infertility. 1 was more than my husband initially wanted. I hoped for another for many years and he held firm and since I love him and our child and value our union which we both compromised to be part of, we have 1.

Now I have a wonderful child whose current age has always been my favorite age. My husband is a good dad. We do the best we can and have everything we need and most of what we want. We both have fulfilling careers and our child can do any activity they choose with our full support (including both of our attendance at games, for example). We all are able to bring 95% of ourselves to what we do (school, work, vacation, boundaries, relaxation or me-time, etc...), and that is fulfilling.

I would have loved to be a mom of 2+ especially at future holidays. But I am a mom of 1 great kid and my career is far more fulfilling than I imagined it would be, and much more of my identity than I'd ever dreamed (this is healthy and great). I can't be assured that I would have had any of what I wanted if I'd chosen a different family life. So here I am. Happy, sometimes wistful, but very satisfied.

[Anonymous]

IF we had started earlier (we were married 5 years before trying ...) we would have loved to have had more kids. If it happened.

You never know what may/may not have happened. How it would have all turned out. A complete waste of energy to lament what isn't. And bad karma. First Rule of Parenting is: be thankful for what the good lord gives you.

There's no better way to state it. And I'm not religious.

[Anonymous]

Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

[Anonymous]

I have 2 daughters and it’s perfect for me. Couldn’t imagine having 1 or 3 kids!

[Anonymous]

I'm perfectly content having 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

I'm actually not that poster but one of the many other moms of three who were insulted on that thread. In fact someone on that thread pointed out that you never hear moms of many telling moms of 1-2 they should have more kids, and this thread proves it. Maybe the lesson here is you should worry about your own families and not start fights with other women because you disapprove of their choices.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

I'm actually not that poster but one of the many other moms of three who were insulted on that thread. In fact someone on that thread pointed out that you never hear moms of many telling moms of 1-2 they should have more kids, and this thread proves it. Maybe the lesson here is you should worry about your own families and not start fights with other women because you disapprove of their choices.

Ha, no, you're being selective, OP. I have one and people looooooove to tell parents of one child how they'll be selfish, spoiled, anti-social, lonely weirdos. And how selfish parents are for not giving them the gift of a sibling. This thread hasn't been overrun by that talk, but it takes about five seconds to search the archives for many, many examples.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

I'm actually not that poster but one of the many other moms of three who were insulted on that thread. In fact someone on that thread pointed out that you never hear moms of many telling moms of 1-2 they should have more kids, and this thread proves it. Maybe the lesson here is you should worry about your own families and not start fights with other women because you disapprove of their choices.

Ha, no, you're being selective, OP. I have one and people looooooove to tell parents of one child how they'll be selfish, spoiled, anti-social, lonely weirdos. And how selfish parents are for not giving them the gift of a sibling. This thread hasn't been overrun by that talk, but it takes about five seconds to search the archives for many, many examples.

I haven't seen anything like that. If you have examples I'd love to see them. But all I have is 15 pages of people bashing moms of three and zip in this thread. Perhaps you're projecting your own insecurities, but this just isn't the reality. And I'm an only fwiw.

[Anonymous]

Have one and so happy with him! I'm an Only that wanted an Only. And that's what I got.

He's 7yo and finally getting to that easier stage. We had a friend of his over to the house last weekend. They were having so much fun, but so NOISY! I don't know how parents of more than one kid deal with it. My nerves were fried!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

I'm actually not that poster but one of the many other moms of three who were insulted on that thread. In fact someone on that thread pointed out that you never hear moms of many telling moms of 1-2 they should have more kids, and this thread proves it. Maybe the lesson here is you should worry about your own families and not start fights with other women because you disapprove of their choices.

Ha, no, you're being selective, OP. I have one and people looooooove to tell parents of one child how they'll be selfish, spoiled, anti-social, lonely weirdos. And how selfish parents are for not giving them the gift of a sibling. This thread hasn't been overrun by that talk, but it takes about five seconds to search the archives for many, many examples.

I haven't seen anything like that. If you have examples I'd love to see them. But all I have is 15 pages of people bashing moms of three and zip in this thread. Perhaps you're projecting your own insecurities, but this just isn't the reality. And I'm an only fwiw.

Let's not ruin this thread, please.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

I'm actually not that poster but one of the many other moms of three who were insulted on that thread. In fact someone on that thread pointed out that you never hear moms of many telling moms of 1-2 they should have more kids, and this thread proves it. Maybe the lesson here is you should worry about your own families and not start fights with other women because you disapprove of their choices.

Ha, no, you're being selective, OP. I have one and people looooooove to tell parents of one child how they'll be selfish, spoiled, anti-social, lonely weirdos. And how selfish parents are for not giving them the gift of a sibling. This thread hasn't been overrun by that talk, but it takes about five seconds to search the archives for many, many examples.

I haven't seen anything like that. If you have examples I'd love to see them. But all I have is 15 pages of people bashing moms of three and zip in this thread. Perhaps you're projecting your own insecurities, but this just isn't the reality. And I'm an only fwiw.

Let's not ruin this thread, please.

Right. Only moms of many deserve to get bashed. You guys get to keep your thread lifting each other up. Do you hear yourself?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Wow three pages and not a single post telling another woman she has the wrong number of children. Must be nice for all of you.

I know you are the angry poster from the 3+ thread and I want to gently suggest that you stop relying on strangers on the internet to validate your life choices. It doesn't matter if anyone here approves of how many kids you have. This area, and thus this board, trends toward women having kids later and therefore having fewer. So it is no surprise that bias exists on this board towards fewer kids.

If you are happy with your family, that is truly all that matters.

I'm actually not that poster but one of the many other moms of three who were insulted on that thread. In fact someone on that thread pointed out that you never hear moms of many telling moms of 1-2 they should have more kids, and this thread proves it. Maybe the lesson here is you should worry about your own families and not start fights with other women because you disapprove of their choices.

Ha, no, you're being selective, OP. I have one and people looooooove to tell parents of one child how they'll be selfish, spoiled, anti-social, lonely weirdos. And how selfish parents are for not giving them the gift of a sibling. This thread hasn't been overrun by that talk, but it takes about five seconds to search the archives for many, many examples.

I haven't seen anything like that. If you have examples I'd love to see them. But all I have is 15 pages of people bashing moms of three and zip in this thread. Perhaps you're projecting your own insecurities, but this just isn't the reality. And I'm an only fwiw.

Let's not ruin this thread, please.

That thread was ruined because moms of 1-2 came in and took it over.