Parents of 1-2 kids- are you happy or do you regret not having few more

[Anonymous]

Two kids, perfectly happy. I grew up one of three. It was always 2 vs 1 in fights. I didn't want that. 2 kids, 2 parents means workload is always even. And as someone wrote on this board once, "The world is designed for families of four."

[Anonymous]

Two kids.

I regret not having one more. But, on the other hand, we would be able to afford much less and it would have altered the course of our lives a bit. Still..we wish we had one more.

[Anonymous]

What is the point of these threads? Every family is unique and has unique circumstances. Some have a busy career, some have family nearby, some have the mental and emotional resilience to handle more than 2 kids, some have anxiety so they can’t imagine having more than one child. I just don’t understand why these threads keep popping up about the size of people’s families. Like you do you and decide what is best for you and your particular family. Families with one kid aren’t always happier than families with three and vice versa.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What is the point of these threads? Every family is unique and has unique circumstances. Some have a busy career, some have family nearby, some have the mental and emotional resilience to handle more than 2 kids, some have anxiety so they can’t imagine having more than one child. I just don’t understand why these threads keep popping up about the size of people’s families. Like you do you and decide what is best for you and your particular family. Families with one kid aren’t always happier than families with three and vice versa.

Because some people are on the fence about family planning decisions. Or are struggling and looking for validation and support. These aren't exactly the kinds of topics that are easy to discuss IRL, so they go to an anonymous parenting forum.

[Anonymous]

Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. Its why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." Its no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

[Anonymous]

Very happy with my one. I was also an only child.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

[Anonymous]

When our two kids were young, yes.

Now that our two kids are in college (oldest) and nearing college (younger one), I am glad we only have two kids to put through college.

Also, I am in my mid 50s and getting tired and going through menopause with a high schooler. I cannot IMAGINE having a third in middle school to push through until age 63 as a parent of K-12 students.

High school is tough sledding, emotionally and academically, for parent and child. It can be very stressful. If you have four kids, you need to have enough bandwidth to make it through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

Your post wasn't friendly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Feels like a lot of people are looking for validation, especially the moms of 2.

Especially everyone. All the moms on here are desperately looking to justify their "perfect" decisions. There is no room for mulitple positive scenerios to coexist. It's why I hate this board so much sometimes. Someone can't be "right" without the other person being "wrong." It's no different from breastfeeding, working, you name it. Barf.

I hope I haven't contributed to that. I love having two but I think the reasons it's perfect for us are very personal. My kids' temperaments work really well together so I'm glad I didn't have just my first (that would have been HARD), and I know I couldn't have handled three because of a chronic illness I have. My husband was raised Mormon so I have seen a lot of huge families, and I've seen a lot of families with one or no kids, and I think that great families come in all different sizes.

I feel the same. I see plenty of loving, functional big families but all of them are good at embracing (controlled) chaos and letting lots of small stuff go. That is not an insult. I’m just very Type A and know how hard that would be for me. And yes I’m probably “too involved” as a parent but that’s who I am and am comfortable being. I actually started out thinking I wanted 4-5 kids until I had my first. I used to babysit for several large families and loved it! But I was not dealing with the bigger picture (or the laundry!) After having 1, I realized I could cope with 2.

Maybe you're just low energy.

See, when you say something mean after I write a nice friendly post, it just makes you sound insecure and defensive.

I don't think saying someone is low energy is any less friendly than saying you're just "too involved" with your kids to want more than two.

Yes it was. I acknoledged lots of parents cope with larger families without issue. You decide to make a dig, not me. You are the one unable to acknowledge there is nothing wrong with parents only wanting 1-2 kids.