Anyone's teen DD's (esp. 16 and up) just not interested in dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

LOL - omg you H E L I C O P T E R

Boy is going to do whatever he wants behind your back and then still go off to college having no idea how to treat girls. Sounds smart!!

[Anonymous]

Most are dating and sexing and masturbating online and don't need to date. Plenty of apps to foster unhealthy relationships.

Most that aren't dating or interested in the opposite sex by 15/16 are most likely confused about what gender they like or are asexual.

[Anonymous]

I think it’s really weird to ban dating until college. Better to allow it and just restrict it (groups only, some supervision etc) so you can talk to your son about healthy relationships. Like maybe teach about how to treat a girl?!! My daughter and her boyfriend actually went on really sweet dates together (picnics, eating out etc). Much better and healthier than putting up with a text only relationship which is what banning dating is going to do

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

LOL - omg you H E L I C O P T E R

Boy is going to do whatever he wants behind your back and then still go off to college having no idea how to treat girls. Sounds smart!!

If the boy is doing what he wants behind her back, how is that Mom being a helicopter? Presumably she wouldn’t know what was going on then. You’re just smarting from being called a helicopter yourself by wanting to manage your teen’s dating relationships. You’re so obvious. LOL.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

I actually notice the opposite. The popular kids aren't dating. They're hanging out in packs, generally same gender. Going to sporting events, parties etc. Very little dating at all.

It's the less popular, less socially engaged kids who are the only ones pairing off and dating.

Hmmm. This is not what I’ve observed. Do your kids go to public school?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DD is only 14 1/2, so I'm not sure where she falls yet.

I just know when I was in HS, I was totally boy crazy and wanted to date. It's just no one wanted to date me. I was kind of shy and my looks didn't really develop until I was about 20.

Same, LoL.

Soooo boy crazy

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

I actually notice the opposite. The popular kids aren't dating. They're hanging out in packs, generally same gender. Going to sporting events, parties etc. Very little dating at all.

It's the less popular, less socially engaged kids who are the only ones pairing off and dating.

Hmmm. This is not what I’ve observed. Do your kids go to public school?

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

I actually notice the opposite. The popular kids aren't dating. They're hanging out in packs, generally same gender. Going to sporting events, parties etc. Very little dating at all.

It's the less popular, less socially engaged kids who are the only ones pairing off and dating.

Hmmm. This is not what I’ve observed. Do your kids go to public school?

No, private. Sounds like it's different.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Most are dating and sexing and masturbating online and don't need to date. Plenty of apps to foster unhealthy relationships.

Most that aren't dating or interested in the opposite sex by 15/16 are most likely confused about what gender they like or are asexual.

"Interested in the opposite sex" and actually pursing the opposite sex are very different things. My daughter and friends are all almost 17 and very interested in boys (celebrities, "cute" boys at school, etc) but none have had a boyfriend.

[Anonymous]

There's an article around that because of what the boomers did everyone had had to prolong beginning younger as they can't afford anything

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

LOL - omg you H E L I C O P T E R

Boy is going to do whatever he wants behind your back and then still go off to college having no idea how to treat girls. Sounds smart!!

Not the person you're responding to but MYOFB with regard to how people parent in terms of involvement. So sick of the "helicopter" trope. Worry about you being a judgy bi-ch instead. Plenty to work on there.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

I actually notice the opposite. The popular kids aren't dating. They're hanging out in packs, generally same gender. Going to sporting events, parties etc. Very little dating at all.

It's the less popular, less socially engaged kids who are the only ones pairing off and dating.

Hmmm. This is not what I’ve observed. Do your kids go to public school?

Not what I observed, either. The "populars" are def dating and hooking up and they are not shy about telling the other kids that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

I actually notice the opposite. The popular kids aren't dating. They're hanging out in packs, generally same gender. Going to sporting events, parties etc. Very little dating at all.

It's the less popular, less socially engaged kids who are the only ones pairing off and dating.

Hmmm. This is not what I’ve observed. Do your kids go to public school?

Not what I observed, either. The "populars" are def dating and hooking up and they are not shy about telling the other kids that.

+1 and they aren’t as into academics either. Too distracted by the social life

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Both my kids, DD and DS, were academically minded kids in public school magnet programs. Their peer grop was mainly kids like them. There was a lot of mixed socializing but very little dating or hook ups.
My DD dated casually in college but was still focused on a career path. She is working now and going steady with someone she knew from college. My DS is very goal focused and while he has a huge network of friends, he is not dating anyone right now.

+1 the academically focused kids aren’t really dating.

That’s a good excuse for kids who weren’t popular with the opposite sex or same sex if that was their preference. Yeah, that’s it, the academically focused kids just don’t date.

In reality teens don’t all develop at the same rate. Some teens enjoy spending time with their girlfriends, some with mixed company, some like one on one with boyfriend or girlfriend. Nothing to worry about at all if a 16 year old doesn’t want that kind of commitment.

A lot of their parents don’t allow it because it’s pointless and just leads to drama and heartache and takes away from academic focus. You honestly think a kid with multiple AP classes and activities is going to find time to “date.”? Please. The only ones dating are usually the mediocre kids who have more time for it.

Unless the teen is so socially stunted that she never leaves the house you have no idea if you daughter hooks up with boys. When women like you (you've got to be a woman) writes something so out of touch with reality I wonder where’s she’s from. What gives you the idea that teens who are enrolled in AP classes are without normal sexual development.

The range of having a first boyfriend ranges from middle school until college age but in no way is it related to grades. True, some high schoolers can’t have much of a social life because he or she needs more than the usual amount of hours needed to do well. But that in no way stunts social growth.

My God you are nuts. I said nothing about sexual development. Several PPs said pretty much the same thing too. It really depends on what circles the kids run in.

There are plenty of top performers in school who are good looking, popular, great social skills and dating.

And there are others who don’t.

Your anecdotes are ridiculous.

I said it depends on what circles your kid runs in. The more popular, mature crowd might be dating more. The less popular kids aren’t and are focusing on their academics and activities more. I don’t see how that is “ridiculous” at all.

I actually notice the opposite. The popular kids aren't dating. They're hanging out in packs, generally same gender. Going to sporting events, parties etc. Very little dating at all.

It's the less popular, less socially engaged kids who are the only ones pairing off and dating.

Hmmm. This is not what I’ve observed. Do your kids go to public school?

Not what I observed, either. The "populars" are def dating and hooking up and they are not shy about telling the other kids that.

+1 and they aren’t as into academics either. Too distracted by the social life

So many ridiculous stereotypes people write with nothing to back it up except the students at their children’s schools or activities. Small observations and not all accurate

“I notice popular kids aren’t dating. They hang out in packs”. This poster has no idea what these kids are doing when they’re alone.

“I noticed popular kids are dating” “popular kids dating aren’t into academics”. There’s no way moms have access to other students academics.

It’s not very helpful.

[Anonymous]

There is nothing new under the sun. The popular kids are more mature and act grown up and are more likely to date.

The studious, nerdier types are more shy and don’t get involved in dating.

It’s always been this walk folks!