Anyone's teen DD's (esp. 16 and up) just not interested in dating?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a boy here. DS and his friends are mostly around 16. They seem to be most interested in food, cars, driving, and watching random things online (stupid videos, tik tok, some video games still). You rarely hear girls mentioned. My husband and I don’t understand it.

Same with my DS and friends. They’re laser-focused on upcoming college apps and just want to chill and do mindless stuff in their relatively small downtime. Dating may be too stressful a prospect right now. I’m grateful! Plenty of time to date later on.

[Anonymous]

Yep. It's a new norm.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't get me wrong, part of me is relieved. And she's very focused on her sport and school. But, so far (other than noting guys -usually celebs- she things are attractive) she has shown little interest in dating (despite being pretty, smart, and having some boys show interest in her). She does not put herself out there at all. This is unlike most of her friends who are, quite frankly, very boy crazy and obsessed with dating (themselves and knowing who is dating who). This is not a judgment as I was more in the latter camp as a teen.

I do think girls, especially, put too much emphasis on dating. But, I don't know if I should be worried about the complete lack of emphasis at this point. I have -NOT- said this to her, ftr.

Thoughts?

I have two DDs, one 16 and one 18. Neither has shown interest in dating, and only a couple of their friends have boyfriends/girlfriends. They are both very dedicated to their sport, and during the school year have very busy schedules. My youngest thinks most of the high school boys are immature, and was definitely crushing on and flirting with a neighbor in college but thankfully that went nowhere.

[Anonymous]

My daughter doesn’t date, but many of her friends do. In her school it’s common to date. But good lord, it’s drama constantly. One girl’s boyfriend was found snapping with another girl so she got back by snapping with another boy- etc etc. They talk about this in great detail in the car, completely anguished and freaking out.

So yes, it’s nice to not be caught up that drama. The relationships don’t seem especially loyal or caring.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

Wouldn't you rather be around to help him navigate his first relationship? Instead of off at college?

Wow. Helicoptering to the extreme. No teenage boy needs his mommy to “navigate” his first relationship.

+1 lol

[Anonymous]

I remember myself back in the day and the thing was that I wasn’t interested in those who were interested in me. Once the boy I liked showed interest I started dating.
I think it might be the same thing with our kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Parent of a boy here. DS and his friends are mostly around 16. They seem to be most interested in food, cars, driving, and watching random things online (stupid videos, tik tok, some video games still). You rarely hear girls mentioned. My husband and I don’t understand it.

Same - My DS is now 19 in college and I never hear/see women, unless they are singing with the band that day (they practice in their studio in our basement)

I am flummoxed. I was so dating crazy at that age!

I often wonder if social media/reality TV has warped their perception so far out of reality that dating or sex is just not possible.

I'm the mom with the almost 17 year old son and I could have written these posts as well. I mentioned that my son and his pack of friends spend time doing things like "golfing, movies, pick-up sports, going to the pool, going to a friend's lake house, etc". Well, I could also have listed "eating out, watching stupid videos, talking about cars, driving around, going to baseball games, going to the beach, and I'm sure checking out random girls etc." Also, rarely are girls even mentioned except when it's Homecoming or dance time when they all get dates.

We say all the time that they're like 70 year old men. They literally have a standing weekend breakfast date at a diner.
A few had a "girlfriend" at age 14 but this phase passed quickly. It really feels like they said, "been there, done that but I'd prefer to spend my limited free time (kids are so busy this day) with the pack of friends vs. alone with a girl or talking to a girl. Hanging with my buddies is far more fun."

Girl mom here. That sounds nice! I always liked how boys could be completely satisfied by the company of their guy friends.

[Anonymous]

My 16 year old DD has no interest in dating. In fact, she was devastated when her best friend, a boy, asked her out because it hurt the dynamics of their friendship.

[Anonymous]

My daughter’s a rising sophomore and she has no interest in boys at all (or girls, for that matter). A small number of her friends date but I’d say most don’t. She seems to find guys immature and annoying (perhaps biased by her younger brother’s behavior).

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Worried? What is there to worry about?

Does that really matter what my worry is (other than to cast judgment)? That is not the point of the post. But if you must know, worry about emotional development, maturity. Worried if this is "normal", for lack of a better word.

Jesus OP. Lighten up. She’s young as hell and most of the guys she’s around are probably tools. Don’t worry, be grateful.

It’s really awful how women speak about boys/men. Why are you assuming the boys are all tools?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Don't get me wrong, part of me is relieved. And she's very focused on her sport and school. But, so far (other than noting guys -usually celebs- she things are attractive) she has shown little interest in dating (despite being pretty, smart, and having some boys show interest in her). She does not put herself out there at all. This is unlike most of her friends who are, quite frankly, very boy crazy and obsessed with dating (themselves and knowing who is dating who). This is not a judgment as I was more in the latter camp as a teen.

I do think girls, especially, put too much emphasis on dating. But, I don't know if I should be worried about the complete lack of emphasis at this point. I have -NOT- said this to her, ftr.

Thoughts?

Sounds exactly like my two daughters. But then I look back to my own high school experience and I was the same way. I started dating spring of my senior year.

I have no problem with my daughters not dating right now - what's the rush and all that. But at some point, when does it become a problem?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

Wouldn't you rather be around to help him navigate his first relationship? Instead of off at college?

Wow. Helicoptering to the extreme. No teenage boy needs his mommy to “navigate” his first relationship.

+1 lol

I think it’s funny that you guys are accusing the parent who wants their kid to have a boy/girlfriend in high school is the helicopter but not the one who won’t allow dating until college.

[Anonymous]

OP, I would argue that not being interested in dating shows more maturity than the average kid, not less!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:my 14 year old DS is interested in dating. however, he is not allowed till college. we talk about crushes and I'm open to him about it. but he ain't allowed till college.

Wouldn't you rather be around to help him navigate his first relationship? Instead of off at college?

Wow. Helicoptering to the extreme. No teenage boy needs his mommy to “navigate” his first relationship.

Agree. What exactly do you think you will help with? I had a boyfriend in high school. Other than telling my parents I had a boyfriend and about the plans we had, meeting curfew, etc. I did not need or want to discuss my relationship with my mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Worried? What is there to worry about?

Does that really matter what my worry is (other than to cast judgment)? That is not the point of the post. But if you must know, worry about emotional development, maturity. Worried if this is "normal", for lack of a better word.

By normal, do you mean straight?