2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rome. DD will go to college in Italy. Will stay in family lake cabin for six weeks every summer. If Trump is re-elected, may send her to high school there and work remotely.

You know Giorgia Meloni is the Italian Prime Minister with huge support and she's very much a firm populist and the Italians, like many countries in Europe, have moved decisively to the right on many issues re immigration etc, which is sort of what Trump's platform was. Not sure how she would be better than Trump, but perhaps you're damaged by the TDS?

Came here to say this.

If a person wants to leave if DJT gets re-elected, I get it. Go ahead. If I had more resources, I may do the same.

But choosing Italy really shows a lack of political awareness

Ha! You don’t seem very political aware of the Italian elections dynamic. Choosing Italy because it’s in Europe, I’m fluent in Italian and have Italian citizenship. Yes, I could move anywhere in Europe, but Italy feels like home in away that the US has not since 2016. Fewer mass shootings. Affordable college. Strong healthcare system. Annoying politics - but more turnover for better or for worse.

You can tell yourself whatever you want. But let's not kid ourselves that leaving the US to escape Turnip by going to Italy is a bit silly. Italians aren't the beau ideal of progressives.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rome. DD will go to college in Italy. Will stay in family lake cabin for six weeks every summer. If Trump is re-elected, may send her to high school there and work remotely.

You know Giorgia Meloni is the Italian Prime Minister with huge support and she's very much a firm populist and the Italians, like many countries in Europe, have moved decisively to the right on many issues re immigration etc, which is sort of what Trump's platform was. Not sure how she would be better than Trump, but perhaps you're damaged by the TDS?

Came here to say this.

If a person wants to leave if DJT gets re-elected, I get it. Go ahead. If I had more resources, I may do the same.

But choosing Italy really shows a lack of political awareness

Ha! You don’t seem very political aware of the Italian elections dynamic. Choosing Italy because it’s in Europe, I’m fluent in Italian and have Italian citizenship. Yes, I could move anywhere in Europe, but Italy feels like home in away that the US has not since 2016. Fewer mass shootings. Affordable college. Strong healthcare system. Annoying politics - but more turnover for better or for worse.

You can tell yourself whatever you want. But let's not kid ourselves that leaving the US to escape Turnip by going to Italy is a bit silly. Italians aren't the beau ideal of progressives.

Progressives by your very myopic, American perspective. There are left leaning parties that are against immigration in places like Sweden and Denmark but would be called socialist by every other metric. The socialist president of Peru Pedro Castillo has more in common with Ron DeSantis than Ayanna Pressley on LGBTQ issues but is far the left of anyone in the Democrat Party on every other issue and reveres Fidel Castro.

Just because people don’t neatly fall in line with a bourgeoisie, UMC, Americanized definition of “progressive” doesn’t mean they aren’t left leaning. Italy has a much stronger social safety net, better quality of life for working and middle class people (vacation time and parental leave for example), and has a more equitable healthcare system as well. The new president hasn’t disabled any of these systems because she’s not a traditional American right winger / libertarian.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rome. DD will go to college in Italy. Will stay in family lake cabin for six weeks every summer. If Trump is re-elected, may send her to high school there and work remotely.

You know Giorgia Meloni is the Italian Prime Minister with huge support and she's very much a firm populist and the Italians, like many countries in Europe, have moved decisively to the right on many issues re immigration etc, which is sort of what Trump's platform was. Not sure how she would be better than Trump, but perhaps you're damaged by the TDS?

Came here to say this.

If a person wants to leave if DJT gets re-elected, I get it. Go ahead. If I had more resources, I may do the same.

But choosing Italy really shows a lack of political awareness

Ha! You don’t seem very political aware of the Italian elections dynamic. Choosing Italy because it’s in Europe, I’m fluent in Italian and have Italian citizenship. Yes, I could move anywhere in Europe, but Italy feels like home in away that the US has not since 2016. Fewer mass shootings. Affordable college. Strong healthcare system. Annoying politics - but more turnover for better or for worse.

You can tell yourself whatever you want. But let's not kid ourselves that leaving the US to escape Turnip by going to Italy is a bit silly. Italians aren't the beau ideal of progressives.

Progressives by your very myopic, American perspective. There are left leaning parties that are against immigration in places like Sweden and Denmark but would be called socialist by every other metric. The socialist president of Peru Pedro Castillo has more in common with Ron DeSantis than Ayanna Pressley on LGBTQ issues but is far the left of anyone in the Democrat Party on every other issue and reveres Fidel Castro.

Just because people don’t neatly fall in line with a bourgeoisie, UMC, Americanized definition of “progressive” doesn’t mean they aren’t left leaning. Italy has a much stronger social safety net, better quality of life for working and middle class people (vacation time and parental leave for example), and has a more equitable healthcare system as well. The new president hasn’t disabled any of these systems because she’s not a traditional American right winger / libertarian.

Give me a break. Italy is a sexist dying country where young people can’t even get jobs necessary to go live on their own. There is also corruption and all sorts of issues with the Catholic Church and its influence. Italy is a great place for a vacation and that’s about it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rome. DD will go to college in Italy. Will stay in family lake cabin for six weeks every summer. If Trump is re-elected, may send her to high school there and work remotely.

You know Giorgia Meloni is the Italian Prime Minister with huge support and she's very much a firm populist and the Italians, like many countries in Europe, have moved decisively to the right on many issues re immigration etc, which is sort of what Trump's platform was. Not sure how she would be better than Trump, but perhaps you're damaged by the TDS?

Came here to say this.

If a person wants to leave if DJT gets re-elected, I get it. Go ahead. If I had more resources, I may do the same.

But choosing Italy really shows a lack of political awareness

Ha! You don’t seem very political aware of the Italian elections dynamic. Choosing Italy because it’s in Europe, I’m fluent in Italian and have Italian citizenship. Yes, I could move anywhere in Europe, but Italy feels like home in away that the US has not since 2016. Fewer mass shootings. Affordable college. Strong healthcare system. Annoying politics - but more turnover for better or for worse.

You can tell yourself whatever you want. But let's not kid ourselves that leaving the US to escape Turnip by going to Italy is a bit silly. Italians aren't the beau ideal of progressives.

Progressives by your very myopic, American perspective. There are left leaning parties that are against immigration in places like Sweden and Denmark but would be called socialist by every other metric. The socialist president of Peru Pedro Castillo has more in common with Ron DeSantis than Ayanna Pressley on LGBTQ issues but is far the left of anyone in the Democrat Party on every other issue and reveres Fidel Castro.

Just because people don’t neatly fall in line with a bourgeoisie, UMC, Americanized definition of “progressive” doesn’t mean they aren’t left leaning. Italy has a much stronger social safety net, better quality of life for working and middle class people (vacation time and parental leave for example), and has a more equitable healthcare system as well. The new president hasn’t disabled any of these systems because she’s not a traditional American right winger / libertarian.

Give me a break. Italy is a sexist dying country where young people can’t even get jobs necessary to go live on their own. There is also corruption and all sorts of issues with the Catholic Church and its influence. Italy is a great place for a vacation and that’s about it.

Is that why Americans are shooting up schools everyday and 1/3 of them are strung out on anti-depressants and suicides and fentanyl overdoses are skyrocketing? Because this country is such an awesome place for the working and middle class?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand concept of downsizing quickly.

If I thought I liked a place maybe I buy a condo or rent and try it out.

Or even just a VRBO for a month first.

Also until my kids actually get married and buy a house how do you even pick a place.

Today people have kids so much later. My youngest graduates college when I am 67. My cousin is 66 with a kid in HS. My Good college friend is 60 with kids 4, 8 and 12. He is 77 when his last graduates college.

Al Pacino just had a kid at 82 he is 103 his kid graduated college and Robert Deniro just had a kid at 78 is 99 when his kid graduates college.

I don’t see how downsizing is practical with people working till 70-80. Is Joe Biden supposed to downsize. Maybe Dick Van Dyke when he retires can down size.

Downsizing was my uncles and grand uncles who were cops and fireman. Got married at 21, became a cop or fireman at 21. Done with kids by 30 and did their 30 years on force by 51 with kids out of house. Those days are over

What does the age you become an empty nester have to do with downsizing? Once kids are out of the house, you don't need to maintain/clean/heat/cool all that space for them to come visit from time to time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Interesting how many want to move to rural areas. I’ve known a few retirees who have done that. But social isolation is a real hazard, and a huge mental health issue among the elderly. For me, a mid-sized city with arts & cultural events is a better option.

This. Especially after moving away from a community of friends that took time to make. It’s not as easy to rebuild a community/ friends especially when you don’t have young children anymore.

[Anonymous]

+1 RI and CT
+1 San Diego
North Shore Chicago
Hudson River towns of NY
St. Agustine, FL

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I dont get people who want to move away from friends and community they spent 18+ years building unless its totally unaffordable. When my kids are grown ill get to garden more, spend more time with the friends i made and enjoy my neighborhood more.

I’ll explain it for you. For many of us DC is a company town and our relationships are mainly due to proximity. We are only spending time with these people because we have a job here and families we met through our kids. Once we no longer have a job or kids at home we won’t have a reason to spend any time with these people. They are perfectly nice but not a reason to stay here. Unfortunately you may have not figured out that a lot of people here are only friends with you during this stage of life because it’s convenient.

Also DC doesn’t really have any natural beauty and there are other parts of the country with better access to beaches, skiing, hiking etc. It sounds like you like to garden, but that is only one activity. The average retiree isn’t interested in visiting museums over and over again and DC isn’t known for its restaurants or shopping. It’s also expensive because of the job market and if you’re not longer working then why live here?

Plenty of retiree - especially dual income couples - have large retirement accounts and plenty of equity in their home if not a fully paid off home. If you had millions of dollars of practically guaranteed income, no mortgage and no kids here, would you really choose to live in Washington, dc? For most people that’s a hard NO.

All the those people in your DC community will likely also move for retirement. So much more in RI, CT, St. Augustine, FL, Hudson River towns, North Shore of Chicago.

[Anonymous]

We're stuck in LA in our family home unless we want to take a big hit on taxes.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I want to move to New Mexico or Arizona--and I'd especially like a planned 55+ community.
Dh wants Florida and also likes more isolated areas.

We have 4 kids; 3 have "flown" and one is a rising hs senior. The "flown" are currently in the Pittsburgh area, Colorado, and Ohio.
We still don't know where the high schooler will go to college, but he definitely isn't interested in NM, AZ, or FL (hates the heat!)

NM and AZ aren't going to have water in 5 years. Maybe rethink that plan.

+1. The same in southern California, and Florida will be submerged in the sea.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t really understand concept of downsizing quickly.

If I thought I liked a place maybe I buy a condo or rent and try it out.

Or even just a VRBO for a month first.

Also until my kids actually get married and buy a house how do you even pick a place.

Today people have kids so much later. My youngest graduates college when I am 67. My cousin is 66 with a kid in HS. My Good college friend is 60 with kids 4, 8 and 12. He is 77 when his last graduates college.

Al Pacino just had a kid at 82 he is 103 his kid graduated college and Robert Deniro just had a kid at 78 is 99 when his kid graduates college.

I don’t see how downsizing is practical with people working till 70-80. Is Joe Biden supposed to downsize. Maybe Dick Van Dyke when he retires can down size.

Downsizing was my uncles and grand uncles who were cops and fireman. Got married at 21, became a cop or fireman at 21. Done with kids by 30 and did their 30 years on force by 51 with kids out of house. Those days are over

What does the age you become an empty nester have to do with downsizing? Once kids are out of the house, you don't need to maintain/clean/heat/cool all that space for them to come visit from time to time.

I think most people (even in this area) are around 50 when their kids leave for college. Plenty of time to downsize if they want.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rome. DD will go to college in Italy. Will stay in family lake cabin for six weeks every summer. If Trump is re-elected, may send her to high school there and work remotely.

You know Giorgia Meloni is the Italian Prime Minister with huge support and she's very much a firm populist and the Italians, like many countries in Europe, have moved decisively to the right on many issues re immigration etc, which is sort of what Trump's platform was. Not sure how she would be better than Trump, but perhaps you're damaged by the TDS?

Came here to say this.

If a person wants to leave if DJT gets re-elected, I get it. Go ahead. If I had more resources, I may do the same.

But choosing Italy really shows a lack of political awareness

Ha! You don’t seem very political aware of the Italian elections dynamic. Choosing Italy because it’s in Europe, I’m fluent in Italian and have Italian citizenship. Yes, I could move anywhere in Europe, but Italy feels like home in away that the US has not since 2016. Fewer mass shootings. Affordable college. Strong healthcare system. Annoying politics - but more turnover for better or for worse.

You can tell yourself whatever you want. But let's not kid ourselves that leaving the US to escape Turnip by going to Italy is a bit silly. Italians aren't the beau ideal of progressives.

Progressives by your very myopic, American perspective. There are left leaning parties that are against immigration in places like Sweden and Denmark but would be called socialist by every other metric. The socialist president of Peru Pedro Castillo has more in common with Ron DeSantis than Ayanna Pressley on LGBTQ issues but is far the left of anyone in the Democrat Party on every other issue and reveres Fidel Castro.

Just because people don’t neatly fall in line with a bourgeoisie, UMC, Americanized definition of “progressive” doesn’t mean they aren’t left leaning. Italy has a much stronger social safety net, better quality of life for working and middle class people (vacation time and parental leave for example), and has a more equitable healthcare system as well. The new president hasn’t disabled any of these systems because she’s not a traditional American right winger / libertarian.

Give me a break. Italy is a sexist dying country where young people can’t even get jobs necessary to go live on their own. There is also corruption and all sorts of issues with the Catholic Church and its influence. Italy is a great place for a vacation and that’s about it.

Is that why Americans are shooting up schools everyday and 1/3 of them are strung out on anti-depressants and suicides and fentanyl overdoses are skyrocketing? Because this country is such an awesome place for the working and middle class?

A lot of Italy is poor. You've obviously never been to Naples or the south of Italy. Italy isn't just upscale urban towns and city centers. Average incomes are far lower. There's definitely a drug problem in parts of Italy. I get some of your comments but painting Italy as some sort of paradise while the US is a hellscape is blatantly distorting perspectives.

Speaking of Italian politics, Silvio Berlusconi was convicted of tax fraud and widely known to be very corrupt and had a heavily controversial private life. Much of Italian politics is corrupt on a scale that wouldn't be tolerated in the US. I'm sure you'll spin it away but it will be amusing to watch you try.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Rome. DD will go to college in Italy. Will stay in family lake cabin for six weeks every summer. If Trump is re-elected, may send her to high school there and work remotely.

You know Giorgia Meloni is the Italian Prime Minister with huge support and she's very much a firm populist and the Italians, like many countries in Europe, have moved decisively to the right on many issues re immigration etc, which is sort of what Trump's platform was. Not sure how she would be better than Trump, but perhaps you're damaged by the TDS?

Came here to say this.

If a person wants to leave if DJT gets re-elected, I get it. Go ahead. If I had more resources, I may do the same.

But choosing Italy really shows a lack of political awareness

Ha! You don’t seem very political aware of the Italian elections dynamic. Choosing Italy because it’s in Europe, I’m fluent in Italian and have Italian citizenship. Yes, I could move anywhere in Europe, but Italy feels like home in away that the US has not since 2016. Fewer mass shootings. Affordable college. Strong healthcare system. Annoying politics - but more turnover for better or for worse.

You can tell yourself whatever you want. But let's not kid ourselves that leaving the US to escape Turnip by going to Italy is a bit silly. Italians aren't the beau ideal of progressives.

Progressives by your very myopic, American perspective. There are left leaning parties that are against immigration in places like Sweden and Denmark but would be called socialist by every other metric. The socialist president of Peru Pedro Castillo has more in common with Ron DeSantis than Ayanna Pressley on LGBTQ issues but is far the left of anyone in the Democrat Party on every other issue and reveres Fidel Castro.

Just because people don’t neatly fall in line with a bourgeoisie, UMC, Americanized definition of “progressive” doesn’t mean they aren’t left leaning. Italy has a much stronger social safety net, better quality of life for working and middle class people (vacation time and parental leave for example), and has a more equitable healthcare system as well. The new president hasn’t disabled any of these systems because she’s not a traditional American right winger / libertarian.

Give me a break. Italy is a sexist dying country where young people can’t even get jobs necessary to go live on their own. There is also corruption and all sorts of issues with the Catholic Church and its influence. Italy is a great place for a vacation and that’s about it.

Is that why Americans are shooting up schools everyday and 1/3 of them are strung out on anti-depressants and suicides and fentanyl overdoses are skyrocketing? Because this country is such an awesome place for the working and middle class?

A lot of Italy is poor. You've obviously never been to Naples or the south of Italy. Italy isn't just upscale urban towns and city centers. Average incomes are far lower. There's definitely a drug problem in parts of Italy. I get some of your comments but painting Italy as some sort of paradise while the US is a hellscape is blatantly distorting perspectives.

Speaking of Italian politics, Silvio Berlusconi was convicted of tax fraud and widely known to be very corrupt and had a heavily controversial private life. Much of Italian politics is corrupt on a scale that wouldn't be tolerated in the US. I'm sure you'll spin it away but it will be amusing to watch you try.

Last time I checked Berlusconi didn’t start a war on a false premise and kill 200,000 civilians in another country so to enrich Halliburton and the oil companies and defense contractors he was tied to. He also didn’t get his drug addict son lucrative board seats in companies in a country that he’d later sell banned arms like cluster bombs to, and enrich some of these same industries in the process, in 2023.

The rest of the world isn’t brainwashed by American cable news 24/7 and views America as a far more corrupt place than somewhere like Italy. Travel some and ask people in India, Brazil, and other large nations which nation they think is a worse actor.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're stuck in LA in our family home unless we want to take a big hit on taxes.

Doesn’t a big hit meant you have made quite a bit of money on it?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're hoping to move to southern Maine. Portland suburbs maybe.

Just a heads up, it will take a LONG time for people there to accept you.

You may find a community of "ex-pats" to socialize with me. But Maine people are stubborn and very skeptical of outsiders

We moved to Maine a few years ago and it took a SHORT time to acclimate. There are a lot of people from away (as Mainers put it) between Kittery and Bath, especially.

Maine is a very popular state to retire to.

You couldn't pay me enough to go back.

South of Portland is really just an extension of Mass.