2023: where will you move when your kids leave home?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the house is paid for, so why will we move out?

To cash out -- you sell you place and buy a new, lower cost place for cash and invest the rest.

Your house is an investment by the way. Up till 2022 anyone who sold to buy a cheaper home in retirement not a good move.

I have an investment condo some of neighbors downsized and although condo up in value 100k last few years, House they sold was up 200k to 500k.

Old people often don’t load up stocks so if money was in bonds or CDs they did poorly the last few years.

Hind site is 20/20 of course.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're hoping to move to southern Maine. Portland suburbs maybe.

Us too. I'd like to be further up the coast but as we age access to medical care and hospitals in Boston will be important.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the house is paid for, so why will we move out?

To cash out -- you sell you place and buy a new, lower cost place for cash and invest the rest.

+1 It's not like you would have a mortgage on the new place, and you could live somewhere better.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

Why can't you board your dog? You should visit you MIL anyway. Expecting an 83 yo to travel alone is silly. You can pack in a small house for a brief visit. It sounds like you just don't like MIL.

+1 we make the trek across the country to visit my parents and stay in a hotel or airbnb condo. They are in their 80s and have a hard time flying that far, and they live in a tiny condo.

I'm not even all that close to my parents, but they are still my parents, and I want my kids to see their grandparents at least once a year or so.

IMO, you are cheating your kids of seeing your grandparents.

This is not the only way to look at it. Sometimes family relationships are strained and boarding animals and flying across the country and getting an Airbnb or hotel with multiple kids is expensive. Sometimes it’s not feasible or enjoyable to do that every year.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real trick is to have a couple of residences that you can bounce between during your retirement years. If you keep residency days below the statutory threshold, you can conceivably also eliminate any state taxes. When not staying in a home, you rent it out as a furnished unit.

Lets say you had a 1BR in NYC, house in Chevy Chase MD, and a home in San Diego CA. With enough documentation and staying below the 183 day/six month rule, you could conceivably pay no state income tax other than that related to rental income of the home in the jurisdiction.

That only works if one of the jurisdictions is a state income tax free state and you have actively established your residence in that state (voting registration, car registration, etc.). You've listed 3 high tax jurisdictions - you have to pick one of them for state tax purposes. So make one of those Florida or Texas or Wyoming (or TN or Washington state) and establish that as your primary residence and that model works, as long as you want to move around a lot, or ultimately settle in the no income tax state.

+1. I would do kennebunkport, ME; Chevy Chase, DC or Greenwich, CT (avoid NYC tax stuff altogether); and Palm Beach or Miami FL. Would ideally establish residency in FL for tax reasons (and yay warmer winters) and then spend time between Kennebunkport and other property during summer/spring/fall. All on the east coast, so travel between properties isn’t crazy. Kids can use other properties when we’re not there. Climate change is an issue in all areas, unfortunately. But in the world we live in that is inescapable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:PP here. Specifically, according to the March of Dimes,

“Of all live births in the United States during 2018-2020 (average), 4.6% were to women under the age of 20, 47.5% were to women ages 20-29, 44.4% were to women ages 30-39, and 3.5% were to women ages 40 and older.”

If only 3.5 percent of babies are born to mothers 40 and older, the percentage born to 45 year olds is practically nil.

I am talking men not women. My male friend who was 50 when his kid started kindergarten was youngest Dad in class. Most were second marriages with younger wife or career guys married later in life. The women were younger.

Indeed. I’ll be 52 when my youngest graduates college but DH will be 65. 🥂

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I’ll probably stay in my paid-off Silver Spring sh*t-shack and do A LOT of traveling.

I’ll probably stay in my paid-off affordable, beautiful, spacious Germantown SFH in an amazing UMC, white collar, diverse neighborhood with a low, low, low rated school pyramid and do A LOT of traveling.

Those gunshots are only going to get closer and closer to you in Germantown

[Anonymous]

We talk about selling our house in Fort Hunt and buying a townhouse in Old Town. But TBH, that is probably not a big enough move to be worth the transaction costs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

My kids almost have zero relationships with my 83 year old MIL. Her place is too small for the five of us and dog to visit. She also refuses to visit or travel.

Why can't you board your dog? You should visit you MIL anyway. Expecting an 83 yo to travel alone is silly. You can pack in a small house for a brief visit. It sounds like you just don't like MIL.

+1 we make the trek across the country to visit my parents and stay in a hotel or airbnb condo. They are in their 80s and have a hard time flying that far, and they live in a tiny condo.

I'm not even all that close to my parents, but they are still my parents, and I want my kids to see their grandparents at least once a year or so.

IMO, you are cheating your kids of seeing your grandparents.

This is not the only way to look at it. Sometimes family relationships are strained and boarding animals and flying across the country and getting an Airbnb or hotel with multiple kids is expensive. Sometimes it’s not feasible or enjoyable to do that every year.

strained relationships is a different story than not going because of your dog or it's too far away.

^^PP stated that their kid had zero relationship with the grandparents because they have dogs and the parent lives in a small place. They can board the dog, or get a dog sitter, and stay at a hotel or airbnb. The fact that they don't visit is on the parents, not the grandparents. If you have enough money to spend on vacation then you have enough to go visit the grandparents. There are ways to work it out.

Like I said, I don't have the best relationship with my parents, but I don't want to cheat my children out of knowing their grandparents, so we bite the bullet and go. We use some of our vacation money and PTO to do it.

And this is one of the reasons why I don't want a pet. I want to be able to travel, visit friends/family without having to spend money on boarding the pet.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The real trick is to have a couple of residences that you can bounce between during your retirement years. If you keep residency days below the statutory threshold, you can conceivably also eliminate any state taxes. When not staying in a home, you rent it out as a furnished unit.

Lets say you had a 1BR in NYC, house in Chevy Chase MD, and a home in San Diego CA. With enough documentation and staying below the 183 day/six month rule, you could conceivably pay no state income tax other than that related to rental income of the home in the jurisdiction.

That only works if one of the jurisdictions is a state income tax free state and you have actively established your residence in that state (voting registration, car registration, etc.). You've listed 3 high tax jurisdictions - you have to pick one of them for state tax purposes. So make one of those Florida or Texas or Wyoming (or TN or Washington state) and establish that as your primary residence and that model works, as long as you want to move around a lot, or ultimately settle in the no income tax state.

+1. I would do kennebunkport, ME; Chevy Chase, DC or Greenwich, CT (avoid NYC tax stuff altogether); and Palm Beach or Miami FL. Would ideally establish residency in FL for tax reasons (and yay warmer winters) and then spend time between Kennebunkport and other property during summer/spring/fall. All on the east coast, so travel between properties isn’t crazy. Kids can use other properties when we’re not there. Climate change is an issue in all areas, unfortunately. But in the world we live in that is inescapable.

Miami is getting stupid expensive. Locals are moving out.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:the house is paid for, so why will we move out?

To cash out -- you sell you place and buy a new, lower cost place for cash and invest the rest.

+1 It's not like you would have a mortgage on the new place, and you could live somewhere better.

I’ve thought about this a lot. There are benefits, to be sure. But I guess ultimately I don’t want to start over from scratch somewhere new—where I probably won’t know anyone—at an advanced age. Some people are up for this. I’m not sure I will be.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the person moving to Belize….be extremely cautious about healthcare in Mexico!!!

Why? Do you have to go to Mexico for healthcare? Does Belize not have any?

Belize has healthcare and routine visits are cheap and convenient. Prescription medication is mostly available OTC and cheap. Right now we don't have any complications that we anticipate would require going to Mexico, but we have been advised that if we develop something a little more complicated, that might be necessary. So we're setting aside money for that in addition to keeping catastrophic insurance coverage in the US.

Anyway, came on here for an update. We closed on our house in Belize yesterday and our retired friend is down there dealing with things until we go down for good in October. The college kids are coming down for the month of January and are so excited. The grown up kid is trying to figure out her schedule to come down as well. We don't see her that often anyway since she's busy with work and friends and looking for a husband.

Online work is in place to bring in a steady income from the US. This is basically what I've been doing since Covid started and I moved my own business online/phone and just never switched back. I just ramped it up to fill in for some things I was doing in person. It will make enough money to support us indefinitely in case the business there doesn't. It's work I enjoy and I only have to work 15-20 hours/week, max, to pay all of the bills and put some additional savings aside. We have plenty of savings also and of course no house or car payment since the house and the golf cart are paid off. Fastest, best internet is $60/month. We bought a used golf cart and the insurance is $6/month. So far both WAY under my projected budget. The pool is a little green but the chemicals are doing their job.

The business is formed. It only has to break even which, with 2 full time employees, would come to $1,500/month so we anticipate being able to do that! There has been tons of paperwork, but I would anticipate that in starting a business and applying for health permits, work permits, trade licenses, etc. Work permit paperwork is going in soonest. So many people have gone above and beyond to help us get all of this in place, I'm going to spend the first month taking Belizians out to well-deserved thank you dinners. Or having them over to swim in the pool and gaze at the lagoon.

Our belongings went on a shipment on Monday and will arrive in Belize in 4-6 weeks. That came in a lot cheaper than we budgeted too. Our plane tickets were cheap also, but still working on making sure the dog can get on one of our flights or else we might have to do a service that flies him down. We're flying on different days to better the chances. It has to be under 85 degrees on the tarmac in Miami the day of in order for him to go. So that might end up being an extra expense. Thankfully we were finally able to sell our other business here, the one we can't run from there, so that's an extra bunch of cash we weren't sure of. There do seem to be a lot of little hidden expenses. For example the water hook up was almost $500 including a deposit which seems like a lot more than I would have expected. I suppose the deposit will be there one day for our kids! Having a work permit makes things easier than reupping a tourist visa monthly, but the overall cost is the same ($1,200/year each). I don't blame them for wanting to make some money on people who decide to come live in their paradise.

I share all this to say that you can do it! We're in our early 50's and have a lot more living to do. I hear people's concerns about living in a 3rd world country, though on Ambergris Caye it doesn't seem so primitive. The healthcare system is a concern for us, but on the other hand live-in help is cheap and available and we bought a house that can sustain that eventually. We have enough money to fly to Houston and use our health insurance there if needed. There are bugs and rainy seasons and we will miss friends and family. I know I will even miss drive throughs and Walmart sometimes. AC in the car. Everything has its pros and cons and we're ready for the adventure. Only 7 1/2 more weeks!!!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:To the person moving to Belize….be extremely cautious about healthcare in Mexico!!!

Why? Do you have to go to Mexico for healthcare? Does Belize not have any?

Belize has healthcare and routine visits are cheap and convenient. Prescription medication is mostly available OTC and cheap. Right now we don't have any complications that we anticipate would require going to Mexico, but we have been advised that if we develop something a little more complicated, that might be necessary. So we're setting aside money for that in addition to keeping catastrophic insurance coverage in the US.

Anyway, came on here for an update. We closed on our house in Belize yesterday and our retired friend is down there dealing with things until we go down for good in October. The college kids are coming down for the month of January and are so excited. The grown up kid is trying to figure out her schedule to come down as well. We don't see her that often anyway since she's busy with work and friends and looking for a husband.

Online work is in place to bring in a steady income from the US. This is basically what I've been doing since Covid started and I moved my own business online/phone and just never switched back. I just ramped it up to fill in for some things I was doing in person. It will make enough money to support us indefinitely in case the business there doesn't. It's work I enjoy and I only have to work 15-20 hours/week, max, to pay all of the bills and put some additional savings aside. We have plenty of savings also and of course no house or car payment since the house and the golf cart are paid off. Fastest, best internet is $60/month. We bought a used golf cart and the insurance is $6/month. So far both WAY under my projected budget. The pool is a little green but the chemicals are doing their job.

The business is formed. It only has to break even which, with 2 full time employees, would come to $1,500/month so we anticipate being able to do that! There has been tons of paperwork, but I would anticipate that in starting a business and applying for health permits, work permits, trade licenses, etc. Work permit paperwork is going in soonest. So many people have gone above and beyond to help us get all of this in place, I'm going to spend the first month taking Belizians out to well-deserved thank you dinners. Or having them over to swim in the pool and gaze at the lagoon.

Our belongings went on a shipment on Monday and will arrive in Belize in 4-6 weeks. That came in a lot cheaper than we budgeted too. Our plane tickets were cheap also, but still working on making sure the dog can get on one of our flights or else we might have to do a service that flies him down. We're flying on different days to better the chances. It has to be under 85 degrees on the tarmac in Miami the day of in order for him to go. So that might end up being an extra expense. Thankfully we were finally able to sell our other business here, the one we can't run from there, so that's an extra bunch of cash we weren't sure of. There do seem to be a lot of little hidden expenses. For example the water hook up was almost $500 including a deposit which seems like a lot more than I would have expected. I suppose the deposit will be there one day for our kids! Having a work permit makes things easier than reupping a tourist visa monthly, but the overall cost is the same ($1,200/year each). I don't blame them for wanting to make some money on people who decide to come live in their paradise.

I share all this to say that you can do it! We're in our early 50's and have a lot more living to do. I hear people's concerns about living in a 3rd world country, though on Ambergris Caye it doesn't seem so primitive. The healthcare system is a concern for us, but on the other hand live-in help is cheap and available and we bought a house that can sustain that eventually. We have enough money to fly to Houston and use our health insurance there if needed. There are bugs and rainy seasons and we will miss friends and family. I know I will even miss drive throughs and Walmart sometimes. AC in the car. Everything has its pros and cons and we're ready for the adventure. Only 7 1/2 more weeks!!!

Wow! I applaud you for taking the time to provide such a detailed update, and also applaud you for being so adventurous. And to think my friends and family looked at us cross-eyed when we upped and moved to the west coast after the 2010 snowstorm that paralyzed the city. They couldn't believe we would make sure a big move because of the weather, and not because of a job transfer. Anyhow I hope you continue to provide updates as I would love to read them. Best of luck on your adventure!

[Anonymous]

DC to Annapolis!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You people are really something else.

You move to the DC area because you have a single focus in your life – your high-powered career. You spend your entire life here focused on that, and when you do decide it’s time to fit some kids in you make damned sure they follow your single-minded footsteps and go off to the best bumper-sticker worthy college they can get into and off they go and never return. Then, once your all consuming career is over and your high achieving kids are long gone, you look around and tell yourself there is no community here and that this area is too transient for you to stick around.

Some of us haven’t structured our lives the way you did. So we do have a community here, and we have every reason to stick around.

Ha! I did do exactly this, but funny enough, fell in love with the DC area and am staying put. I find the comments about lack of natural beauty quite strange. Have those people ventured outside K Street, even to the C&O towpath, let alone down 66 to the local vineyards, or to Skyline? Best fall foliage in the country. Some of the alternatives are quite odd as well: North Shore Chicago? So, a busy, noisy, traffic heavy city is your respite from . . . a busy, noisy, traffic heavy city? And sorry, friends, Colorado is not “mild” in the winter. Some of you aren’t even consistent: San Diego OR Maine? Have you looked the climate differences? This is just funny. Places that have nothing in common. “I’ll take Winnipeg or Budapest for 500, Alex.”