What leads grown women to post party photos on Instagram stories?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think no one should post pictures of themselves to Instagram (isn’t that like the point of Instagram?) what do you think people should post? It has literally never occurred to me that I should be jealous of my friends hanging out with each other or other friends and not me when they post pictures of themselves doing fun things together. We can’t all be invited to everything and it’s great nice to see my friends having a good time.

Are you having a solo party of just 1? Because pretty sure that's not what any of this is about. It's always about the group events. Not your kid's high school graduation, your wedding, your new baby, etc. But when it's your kid's birthday party and you invited 4 of his 8 best friends and blasted it all over your social media knowing full well the other 4 kids might find out about it, then you're kind of a d!ck. See the difference?

Why is a kid following me on Instagram anyway?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think no one should post pictures of themselves to Instagram (isn’t that like the point of Instagram?) what do you think people should post? It has literally never occurred to me that I should be jealous of my friends hanging out with each other or other friends and not me when they post pictures of themselves doing fun things together. We can’t all be invited to everything and it’s great nice to see my friends having a good time.

Are you having a solo party of just 1? Because pretty sure that's not what any of this is about. It's always about the group events. Not your kid's high school graduation, your wedding, your new baby, etc. But when it's your kid's birthday party and you invited 4 of his 8 best friends and blasted it all over your social media knowing full well the other 4 kids might find out about it, then you're kind of a d!ck. See the difference?

Why is a kid following me on Instagram anyway?

Why are you posting your kids pics? It's not about you anyway. But this is the kind of crap these people are doing.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think no one should post pictures of themselves to Instagram (isn’t that like the point of Instagram?) what do you think people should post? It has literally never occurred to me that I should be jealous of my friends hanging out with each other or other friends and not me when they post pictures of themselves doing fun things together. We can’t all be invited to everything and it’s great nice to see my friends having a good time.

Are you having a solo party of just 1? Because pretty sure that's not what any of this is about. It's always about the group events. Not your kid's high school graduation, your wedding, your new baby, etc. But when it's your kid's birthday party and you invited 4 of his 8 best friends and blasted it all over your social media knowing full well the other 4 kids might find out about it, then you're kind of a d!ck. See the difference?

Op was referring to a neighborhood friend, not her BFFs meeting up for lunch when she couldn’t make it one day.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was another thread where someone said this kind of behavior lacks class. It’s fine to not include everyone and not everyone can be invited to everything, but there is something off with putting it an event or party on social media knowing there were certain people excluded who could potentially see it. Especially with settings now where you can share with only designated people. When I see this behavior it just gives me information on the person and I act accordingly. Obviously you’re not on her “A list” so from now on, she’s not on yours. Focus on the people who prioritize you and limit social media.

+1
This is what I do as well. I may smile at you and say nice things but in my head I am thinking poorly of you. It's all a game.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only reason people share things is to social signal, brag, flaunt? Or because of narcissism?

I don’t know about that. I haven’t posted on instagram (which was the last platform I participated in) for years. I think about it occasionally but I sort of like my streak.

But when I did post, or now when I consider posting, it’s just to share something interesting or notable with friends. I have a pretty interesting life, all things considered. And so do a lot of my friends. We don’t always stay as connected as we should and instagram is a nice way to know what’s going on in people’s lives.

Is that not a commonly held belief? People think everyone just posts to show off?

yes

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think no one should post pictures of themselves to Instagram (isn’t that like the point of Instagram?) what do you think people should post? It has literally never occurred to me that I should be jealous of my friends hanging out with each other or other friends and not me when they post pictures of themselves doing fun things together. We can’t all be invited to everything and it’s great nice to see my friends having a good time.

Are you having a solo party of just 1? Because pretty sure that's not what any of this is about. It's always about the group events. Not your kid's high school graduation, your wedding, your new baby, etc. But when it's your kid's birthday party and you invited 4 of his 8 best friends and blasted it all over your social media knowing full well the other 4 kids might find out about it, then you're kind of a d!ck. See the difference?

Op was referring to a neighborhood friend, not her BFFs meeting up for lunch when she couldn’t make it one day.

Today it's the OP with the lunch story. The other day it was about kids not included on a play date. Same situation. This bizarre need to let everyone know you had lunch or a play date. Why not just share the pics with the people involved? n what way is this interesting to your various followers other than to make it clear they know they weren't there. And maybe some thought they were better friends. Used to be, people with better manners, knew better than to talk about such things in front of those included. The tacky jerks never learned that lesson.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think no one should post pictures of themselves to Instagram (isn’t that like the point of Instagram?) what do you think people should post? It has literally never occurred to me that I should be jealous of my friends hanging out with each other or other friends and not me when they post pictures of themselves doing fun things together. We can’t all be invited to everything and it’s great nice to see my friends having a good time.

Are you having a solo party of just 1? Because pretty sure that's not what any of this is about. It's always about the group events. Not your kid's high school graduation, your wedding, your new baby, etc. But when it's your kid's birthday party and you invited 4 of his 8 best friends and blasted it all over your social media knowing full well the other 4 kids might find out about it, then you're kind of a d!ck. See the difference?

Op was referring to a neighborhood friend, not her BFFs meeting up for lunch when she couldn’t make it one day.

Today it's the OP with the lunch story. The other day it was about kids not included on a play date. Same situation. This bizarre need to let everyone know you had lunch or a play date. Why not just share the pics with the people involved? n what way is this interesting to your various followers other than to make it clear they know they weren't there. And maybe some thought they were better friends. Used to be, people with better manners, knew better than to talk about such things in front of those NOT included. The tacky jerks never learned that lesson.

^ those NOT included.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:People who think no one should post pictures of themselves to Instagram (isn’t that like the point of Instagram?) what do you think people should post? It has literally never occurred to me that I should be jealous of my friends hanging out with each other or other friends and not me when they post pictures of themselves doing fun things together. We can’t all be invited to everything and it’s great nice to see my friends having a good time.

Are you having a solo party of just 1? Because pretty sure that's not what any of this is about. It's always about the group events. Not your kid's high school graduation, your wedding, your new baby, etc. But when it's your kid's birthday party and you invited 4 of his 8 best friends and blasted it all over your social media knowing full well the other 4 kids might find out about it, then you're kind of a d!ck. See the difference?

Op was referring to a neighborhood friend, not her BFFs meeting up for lunch when she couldn’t make it one day.

Today it's the OP with the lunch story. The other day it was about kids not included on a play date. Same situation. This bizarre need to let everyone know you had lunch or a play date. Why not just share the pics with the people involved? n what way is this interesting to your various followers other than to make it clear they know they weren't there. And maybe some thought they were better friends. Used to be, people with better manners, knew better than to talk about such things in front of those not included. The tacky jerks never learned that lesson.

I’m the PP who didn’t get why this is such a big deal. On Instagram, I post extremely boring and repetitive pictures of me lifting weights and my cats, so I’m definitely not guilty of this lol. But I have often been in OP’s shoes, seeing pics of a party or event I wasn’t invited to. Sometimes I wish I had been invited or am sad I missed seeing my friends but mostly I’m happy my friends are happy. It’s nice seeing happy pictures of my friends. That’s why I’m on social media in the first place: to see my friend being happy. So I don’t think there’s anything wrong with party pics if people want to post them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Who cares?

OP

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel bad too, OP. I have been in your shoes many times.

I haven’t figured out why grown women post such things but my guess is insecurity. Some sort of public announcement that they are in the “in” crowd.
I agree with others who recommend getting off social media.
Are you actually close friends with the host? Or merely friendly acquaintances?

As said by someone else above, is this really something you truly believe in your core? That if someone posts a pic of themselves with friends, they did it out of insecurity?

DP. I do.

Yes I absolutely do believe that to my core.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Op the truth is she didn’t think about you seeing them at all. You’re not a factor for her. I know it sounds mean to say it that way but it’s true and it’s nicer than you thinking she posted them knowing you’d see them and wonder why you weren’t invited. She just didn’t think of you at all. She’s probably nice when you run into her because you’re just a regular person to her but clearly you’re not in her inner friendship circle and that is ok. You are acquaintances.

Right. They don't think about others. We know. They are vain narcissists.

I know you know this, but that’s ridiculous. People are allowed to live their life without considering every random tangentially connected person in their entire sphere. She had a party with her friends, why would she worry about what one of the other 1,000 people who live in that neighborhood thought of it?

[Anonymous]

I have a question. So Op's neighbor was wrong to post party pics on Instagram because people who weren't invited could see. Got it.

So then...should the party also be indoors? Someone who wasn't invited could walk by and see. Oh, and while we're at it, the lights should be off - someone passing by the house could notice the lights on and realize there's a party going on and feel left out. And don't forget, when the hostess is shopping for party supplies she shouldn't mention it's for a party because someone at the store might overhear and feel left out.

Absolutely ridiculous. It's okay to feel left out! Really, I've felt left out before and it stings a bit. What's not okay is to be so sensitive that others can't have fun without you. That's a surefire recipe for continuing to feel left out, because people will think you're annoying and stop inviting you to things.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a question. So Op's neighbor was wrong to post party pics on Instagram because people who weren't invited could see. Got it.

So then...should the party also be indoors? Someone who wasn't invited could walk by and see. Oh, and while we're at it, the lights should be off - someone passing by the house could notice the lights on and realize there's a party going on and feel left out. And don't forget, when the hostess is shopping for party supplies she shouldn't mention it's for a party because someone at the store might overhear and feel left out.

Absolutely ridiculous. It's okay to feel left out! Really, I've felt left out before and it stings a bit. What's not okay is to be so sensitive that others can't have fun without you. That's a surefire recipe for continuing to feel left out, because people will think you're annoying and stop inviting you to things.

NP. I think you're comparing apples to oranges. Think back to pre-social media. I was in high school in the late nineties. I wasn't cool so didn't go to any cool kids parties. I felt left out, but that was and is a normal part of life. They'd talk about the parties on Monday morning, which again, was fine - as you said, it's ok to be left out. No big deal to hear about a party in passing. But it'd be super weird if they brought pictures from their party and passed them out for everyone to see - "look at this awesome party we had on Saturday night!"

There's a difference between living and enjoying your life (and whoever inadvertently drives by / hears about it can just deal with not being invited), versus posting it on social media for everyone to see.

[Anonymous]

This brings me to tears. I want to give all the people feeling left out a great big hug.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have two Instagram accounts: one where I follow people I know and post once in a while and another where I follow things that inspire me or make me laugh (pretty houses in Europe, historical stuff, museums).

My “inspirational” account isn’t going to make me feel left out. It’s interesting and fun. I know there are times when I do not want to be on the “personal” account. Like when everyone was going to the Eros tour. Not my jam and I didn’t have the $ anyway.

I like this although I’ve just generally been much happier without social media. What was up with everyone bragging that they went to the Taylor Swift tour? Perfect confluence of $, “exclusive” tickets, and girl friends?

Overpaying to hear the musical equivalent of Wonder bread and lukewarm tap water is a huge flex