What leads grown women to post party photos on Instagram stories?

[Anonymous]

Unless you never post and are a lurker, there are things you’ve posted that have made others feel jealous or excluded. That’s just life op. It’s the nature of social media. Maybe it’s not for you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:There was another thread where someone said this kind of behavior lacks class. It’s fine to not include everyone and not everyone can be invited to everything, but there is something off with putting it an event or party on social media knowing there were certain people excluded who could potentially see it. Especially with settings now where you can share with only designated people. When I see this behavior it just gives me information on the person and I act accordingly. Obviously you’re not on her “A list” so from now on, she’s not on yours. Focus on the people who prioritize you and limit social media.

Similarly, there is something off with being SO sensitive that when you see pictures of people at a party you weren't invited to, you assume it was a massive and intentional slight specifically posted online to hurt your feelings.

Look, I don't post to social media. Not on Facebook or twitter. I have an Instagram but my last post was pre-covid. It's just not something I care about. And sometimes when I scroll/lurk I see pics of acquaintances at parties I wasn't invited to. I don't assume they specifically posted the pic thinking "Omg, I hope Jennifer sees this and knows I'm popular and she isn't!" As the saying goes, it ain't that deep!

Btw, may have missed Op's response but I would love to know how close she is with this woman.

[Anonymous]

So should people not post their wedding photos on Instagram? Because someone who wasn't invited - because weddings are expensive and not everyone can be invited - might see it? Really?

[Anonymous]

How far out into the world does this media blackout extend? If Jane Doe has a party, and I'm invited, can I just not mention it because someone somewhere in the world may be hurt that they weren't invited?

And for the record, I'm not mocking OP feeling left out. I get feeling left out and it sucks. But claiming no one can talk about parties that they were invited to because someone may feel left out seems a bit silly.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:How far out into the world does this media blackout extend? If Jane Doe has a party, and I'm invited, can I just not mention it because someone somewhere in the world may be hurt that they weren't invited?

And for the record, I'm not mocking OP feeling left out. I get feeling left out and it sucks. But claiming no one can talk about parties that they were invited to because someone may feel left out seems a bit silly.

Social media has just made it much easier for these feelings of exclusion to happen. It doesn’t actually matter if you think OP is right or wrong to feel as she does— it’s so common.

Which is why a lot of us have soured on social media. I used to post a lot and I’m sure some of it made people feel left out. I’ve also felt what OP is feeling. Eventually I realized that this dynamic is problematic, and decided to get off some platforms altogether and really reduce how much I post. Now I only post a few times a year, and it’s stuff that is less likely to provoke jealousy (like just a silly pic of a camping trip with my immediate family), plus I limit photos just to close friends and family.

I don’t judge people who post more, I get why that’s fun and often enjoy their updates. But around 2016 or so, I started to feel this aspect of SM was bad for society and wanting to participate less.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How far out into the world does this media blackout extend? If Jane Doe has a party, and I'm invited, can I just not mention it because someone somewhere in the world may be hurt that they weren't invited?

And for the record, I'm not mocking OP feeling left out. I get feeling left out and it sucks. But claiming no one can talk about parties that they were invited to because someone may feel left out seems a bit silly.

Social media has just made it much easier for these feelings of exclusion to happen. It doesn’t actually matter if you think OP is right or wrong to feel as she does— it’s so common.

Which is why a lot of us have soured on social media. I used to post a lot and I’m sure some of it made people feel left out. I’ve also felt what OP is feeling. Eventually I realized that this dynamic is problematic, and decided to get off some platforms altogether and really reduce how much I post. Now I only post a few times a year, and it’s stuff that is less likely to provoke jealousy (like just a silly pic of a camping trip with my immediate family), plus I limit photos just to close friends and family.

I don’t judge people who post more, I get why that’s fun and often enjoy their updates. But around 2016 or so, I started to feel this aspect of SM was bad for society and wanting to participate less.

What if someone sees this pic and feels left out because they weren't invited to your camping trip?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

Great. If it's just people smiling then you shouldn't feel too left out.

I don't. But y'all aren't as cute and funny as you think you are.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

Great. If it's just people smiling then you shouldn't feel too left out.

I don't. But y'all aren't as cute and funny as you think you are.

???? Quite the assumption. I haven't posted a photo of myself to social media since 2018. My last post is in 2019 and it's a picture of a deer in my backyard lmfao. I just don't think a bunch of women who are probably drunk on mid-range wine are going out of their way to make me feel left out when they post a pic of themselves.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

Great. If it's just people smiling then you shouldn't feel too left out.

I don't. But y'all aren't as cute and funny as you think you are.

???? Quite the assumption. I haven't posted a photo of myself to social media since 2018. My last post is in 2019 and it's a picture of a deer in my backyard lmfao. I just don't think a bunch of women who are probably drunk on mid-range wine are going out of their way to make me feel left out when they post a pic of themselves.

Well you assumed I felt left out. I don't. We can have different opinions on it. I think needing to post a pic to let everyone know you were at a party is weird and sad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

Great. If it's just people smiling then you shouldn't feel too left out.

I don't. But y'all aren't as cute and funny as you think you are.

???? Quite the assumption. I haven't posted a photo of myself to social media since 2018. My last post is in 2019 and it's a picture of a deer in my backyard lmfao. I just don't think a bunch of women who are probably drunk on mid-range wine are going out of their way to make me feel left out when they post a pic of themselves.

Well you assumed I felt left out. I don't. We can have different opinions on it. I think needing to post a pic to let everyone know you were at a party is weird and sad.

Right. And I'm saying that I am not convinced that's the reason every single person who posts pictures from a party does it. You don't know why they do it. To immediately attribute it to "Well they just wanted to let people know they were there" is bizarre.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

Great. If it's just people smiling then you shouldn't feel too left out.

I don't. But y'all aren't as cute and funny as you think you are.

???? Quite the assumption. I haven't posted a photo of myself to social media since 2018. My last post is in 2019 and it's a picture of a deer in my backyard lmfao. I just don't think a bunch of women who are probably drunk on mid-range wine are going out of their way to make me feel left out when they post a pic of themselves.

Well you assumed I felt left out. I don't. We can have different opinions on it. I think needing to post a pic to let everyone know you were at a party is weird and sad.

Right. And I'm saying that I am not convinced that's the reason every single person who posts pictures from a party does it. You don't know why they do it. To immediately attribute it to "Well they just wanted to let people know they were there" is bizarre.

Nobody has provided a single reason other than they think they look cute. Really, how lame. Seems like most people have gotten the message that this is tacky. I'm surprised there are still many people doing this at all still.

[Anonymous]

They’re posting because they’re having fun. If people are this sensitive, maybe social media is not for you.

[Anonymous]

There’s a party going on somewhere in the world right now and OP wasn’t invited. Tragic.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:They’re posting because they’re having fun. If people are this sensitive, maybe social media is not for you.

They're posting the pic after the fact. They were having fun. Why do they think anyone else would be interested?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:They’re posting because they’re having fun. If people are this sensitive, maybe social media is not for you.

They're posting the pic after the fact. They were having fun. Why do they think anyone else would be interested?

DP. I don’t even think a people taking pics during a party with the intent to post them later are really having that much fun. It’s so awkward when someone whips their phone out for a group selfie and you can just tell they can’t wait to get it on the internet. It’s weird behavior.