What leads grown women to post party photos on Instagram stories?

[Anonymous]

I also think people on DCUM think the absolute worst about posting things on Instagram when it's so commonplace and there's a range of reasons why people do it. Some do it to make themselves feel better or seem exclusive and some people just do it to share. If someone posts a pic of their kids hugging and having popsicles by the pool I don't automatically jump to think that they're doing it make me feel bad because my kids don't get along as well or I don't have a pool. They're just sharing a photo which has become a very common and normal thing to do. Instagram has actually helped me stay in touch with people. Both my husband and I went to school, grad school and worked and ended up in a completely different place then where we grew up. I love seeing pictures of my friends parties, vacations, kids, food and will often comment. Just the other day my DH commented that he was surprised I knew so much about his grad school classmate and I said it's because we both message each other on Insta.

[Anonymous]

The only reason people share things is to social signal, brag, flaunt? Or because of narcissism?

I don’t know about that. I haven’t posted on instagram (which was the last platform I participated in) for years. I think about it occasionally but I sort of like my streak.

But when I did post, or now when I consider posting, it’s just to share something interesting or notable with friends. I have a pretty interesting life, all things considered. And so do a lot of my friends. We don’t always stay as connected as we should and instagram is a nice way to know what’s going on in people’s lives.

Is that not a commonly held belief? People think everyone just posts to show off?

[Anonymous]

I get it. I have been excluded from things so I get people being hurt by it, but at the same time, people are allowed to have parties and logically they can't invite everyone. They just can't. Space, money, etc.

Posting about it to Instagram doesn't make them narcissists or social climbers or mean or selfish.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The only reason people share things is to social signal, brag, flaunt? Or because of narcissism?

I don’t know about that. I haven’t posted on instagram (which was the last platform I participated in) for years. I think about it occasionally but I sort of like my streak.

But when I did post, or now when I consider posting, it’s just to share something interesting or notable with friends. I have a pretty interesting life, all things considered. And so do a lot of my friends. We don’t always stay as connected as we should and instagram is a nice way to know what’s going on in people’s lives.

Is that not a commonly held belief? People think everyone just posts to show off?

Gonna get flamed for this one, but I believe it is a commonly held belief among boomers/Gen X (which this board skews toward demographically) whereas with millennials/Gen Z who grew up with social media and have been navigating it from a young age are a little more used to it.

I am a millennial and have been exposed to social media in some form or another since early high school, so to me it's like, ouch, that sucks someone had a party and didn't invite me...but then I know to think through it logically and be like "Oh okay it looks like a party for moms whose kids are on that soccer team" or "Ah, it's a happy hour for people from their church" or something.

And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. Early exposure to social media is unhealthy, especially since my earliest exposure was as a teen girl. But it was just that, exposure, so I'm used to having to think through it before feeling left out.

One of my best friends threw a party in Feb. I remember during the planning she was like "Oh, we want to invite so-and-so but our house is only so big." I'm sure I posted a pic from the party on IG the next day - not because I wanted everyone to see "Oh I was so cool, I got invited to Bob and Jane's party!" but because it was a cute pic and it was fun. Last night Jane and another friend went to dinner with an acquaintance of mine and I wasn't invited. I saw the pic and was like "Eh, that sucks, would've been fun to go to dinner with Jane and Kate, ah, but it's at Sarah's house and I don't know Sarah that well." Doesn't make Sarah a bad person for not inviting me. She knows my two good friends well. She doesn't really know me. Why would she invite me to her house for dinner? If Jane and Kate were having fun, why shouldn't they post a picture on Instagram? I felt a little left out but I also don't think people need to censor themselves on social media because someone might see and feel left out.

[Anonymous]

Don’t dwell on the instagram poster, it’s about the host of the party or soirée as you called it. Think carefully, are you really good friends with her? When was the last time you invited her to your house?

[Anonymous]

Throw a party of your own!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The only reason people share things is to social signal, brag, flaunt? Or because of narcissism?

I don’t know about that. I haven’t posted on instagram (which was the last platform I participated in) for years. I think about it occasionally but I sort of like my streak.

But when I did post, or now when I consider posting, it’s just to share something interesting or notable with friends. I have a pretty interesting life, all things considered. And so do a lot of my friends. We don’t always stay as connected as we should and instagram is a nice way to know what’s going on in people’s lives.

Is that not a commonly held belief? People think everyone just posts to show off?

Gonna get flamed for this one, but I believe it is a commonly held belief among boomers/Gen X (which this board skews toward demographically) whereas with millennials/Gen Z who grew up with social media and have been navigating it from a young age are a little more used to it.

I am a millennial and have been exposed to social media in some form or another since early high school, so to me it's like, ouch, that sucks someone had a party and didn't invite me...but then I know to think through it logically and be like "Oh okay it looks like a party for moms whose kids are on that soccer team" or "Ah, it's a happy hour for people from their church" or something.

And I'm not saying I'm better than anyone else. Early exposure to social media is unhealthy, especially since my earliest exposure was as a teen girl. But it was just that, exposure, so I'm used to having to think through it before feeling left out.

One of my best friends threw a party in Feb. I remember during the planning she was like "Oh, we want to invite so-and-so but our house is only so big." I'm sure I posted a pic from the party on IG the next day - not because I wanted everyone to see "Oh I was so cool, I got invited to Bob and Jane's party!" but because it was a cute pic and it was fun. Last night Jane and another friend went to dinner with an acquaintance of mine and I wasn't invited. I saw the pic and was like "Eh, that sucks, would've been fun to go to dinner with Jane and Kate, ah, but it's at Sarah's house and I don't know Sarah that well." Doesn't make Sarah a bad person for not inviting me. She knows my two good friends well. She doesn't really know me. Why would she invite me to her house for dinner? If Jane and Kate were having fun, why shouldn't they post a picture on Instagram? I felt a little left out but I also don't think people need to censor themselves on social media because someone might see and feel left out.

There's a flaw in our logic in that teens are even more depressed today because of social media. Growing up with it hasn't them more able to roll with the punches of being left out. That early exposure provided no benefit to you or anyone else.

[Anonymous]

I would feel bad too, OP. I have been in your shoes many times.

I haven’t figured out why grown women post such things but my guess is insecurity. Some sort of public announcement that they are in the “in” crowd.
I agree with others who recommend getting off social media.
Are you actually close friends with the host? Or merely friendly acquaintances?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would feel bad too, OP. I have been in your shoes many times.

I haven’t figured out why grown women post such things but my guess is insecurity. Some sort of public announcement that they are in the “in” crowd.
I agree with others who recommend getting off social media.
Are you actually close friends with the host? Or merely friendly acquaintances?

As said by someone else above, is this really something you truly believe in your core? That if someone posts a pic of themselves with friends, they did it out of insecurity?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would feel bad too, OP. I have been in your shoes many times.

I haven’t figured out why grown women post such things but my guess is insecurity. Some sort of public announcement that they are in the “in” crowd.
I agree with others who recommend getting off social media.
Are you actually close friends with the host? Or merely friendly acquaintances?

As said by someone else above, is this really something you truly believe in your core? That if someone posts a pic of themselves with friends, they did it out of insecurity?

DP. I do.

[Anonymous]

It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

God some of you were so obviously the girls who got bullied in middle school lol. It ain't that deep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:It would be good if more hosts asked their guests to not post party pics and video on social media. Not everything needs to be documented.

It would be a pretty interesting experiment to see if such a request would increase/decrease attendance and if guests would actually honor the request.

I don't think most people would care. People post party photos because they're cute, funny, etc.

Honestly I get feeling left out but truly, not everything is about you.

It's usually just people smiling. Nothing cute or funny about it. It's just "look at me" nothing else.

Great. If it's just people smiling then you shouldn't feel too left out.