Dad brings a guest with him, my half-sister... to stay with us for three weeks...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you can enjoy the visit and get to know HS a bit better. Good luck!

OP is learning plenty about HS, and none of it's good. Which in a way is fine, because OP isn't invested on having a new bestie for life. But she's not interested in serving as hotellier to the ungrateful, either, and she isn't obligated to.

Let's be honest there is a lot of jealousy over the younger half sister

It's obvious you want to pretend she doesn't exist. You probably did that since she was born

You want your dad all to your self. This whole being a gracious host is bs

You are vindictive. Did you ever show an interest In her when she was younger? Doesn't seem like it. She probably avoids lenghty conversations with you because she can sense the bad energy coming from you

You are the only one on this thread who feels this way. Makes you sound like you are a damaged individial.

I agree that op is being petty and vindictive.

Let's say your dad asks you to come on an overseas trip with you to visit your relatives. You get there and learn you are not welcome. How would you feel? You're stuck in a foreign country with nowhere to stay and probably weren't planning on spending a fortune (that the sister might not have) at hotels.

I really don't like house guests, especially ones I don't know very well. But unless the person was dangerous or offensive, I'd suck it up. I'd be especially pleased if they hid away in the guest room the whole time like OP's sister. The only problem I would have is dad on the couch.

That is entirely on the dad for bringing his daughter where she wasn't invited.

Are these people living in a country where they have household help, or is the dad one of those people who doesn't see women's work and thinks clean sheets and hot meals just magically appear?

How would I feel? I might feel like trying to be helpful, pleasant, and grateful. I might feel like trying to get to know my half-sister and her husband and children. I might feel like I ought to, gosh, I dunno, "suck it up"?

It seems like the half sister either knows that something weaselly is up, is ungrateful and has no social skills or caring about family, or didn't want to come on this trip at all and is being rude, one might even say vindictive and petty.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you can enjoy the visit and get to know HS a bit better. Good luck!

OP is learning plenty about HS, and none of it's good. Which in a way is fine, because OP isn't invested on having a new bestie for life. But she's not interested in serving as hotellier to the ungrateful, either, and she isn't obligated to.

Let's be honest there is a lot of jealousy over the younger half sister

It's obvious you want to pretend she doesn't exist. You probably did that since she was born

You want your dad all to your self. This whole being a gracious host is bs

You are vindictive. Did you ever show an interest In her when she was younger? Doesn't seem like it. She probably avoids lenghty conversations with you because she can sense the bad energy coming from you

You are the only one on this thread who feels this way. Makes you sound like you are a damaged individial.

I agree that op is being petty and vindictive.

Let's say your dad asks you to come on an overseas trip with you to visit your relatives. You get there and learn you are not welcome. How would you feel? You're stuck in a foreign country with nowhere to stay and probably weren't planning on spending a fortune (that the sister might not have) at hotels.

I really don't like house guests, especially ones I don't know very well. But unless the person was dangerous or offensive, I'd suck it up. I'd be especially pleased if they hid away in the guest room the whole time like OP's sister. The only problem I would have is dad on the couch.

But that isn't what happened at all. The half-sister wasn't invited on a family trip. Or if she was, it was by her Dad without OP's input, and he lied about it to both OP and the half-sister.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you can enjoy the visit and get to know HS a bit better. Good luck!

OP is learning plenty about HS, and none of it's good. Which in a way is fine, because OP isn't invested on having a new bestie for life. But she's not interested in serving as hotellier to the ungrateful, either, and she isn't obligated to.

Let's be honest there is a lot of jealousy over the younger half sister

It's obvious you want to pretend she doesn't exist. You probably did that since she was born

You want your dad all to your self. This whole being a gracious host is bs

You are vindictive. Did you ever show an interest In her when she was younger? Doesn't seem like it. She probably avoids lenghty conversations with you because she can sense the bad energy coming from you

PP.. kindly, I think you are projecting your own feelings here. I’m just not seeing OP’s behavior as vindictive, jealous and that she “wants her dad all to herself” / wishes her HS didn’t exist. It’s completely normal for a child to want some one on one time with a parent. That doesn’t make the adult child vindictive or mean she wants to off her sibling. Nothing OP is doing is out of the realm of normal behavior…

[Anonymous]

Hi, this is OP. I took my dad out on a walk this morning and spoke to him.

I explained that I understand that this is not the best time in HS's life, and that I know life is complicated, unexpected things happen, and we all need to have empathy and show kindness to our fellow human beings, especially family.

He reiterated some of the HS problems; reminded me that she had a health issue a few years ago that required some gentle handling, and he and his wife coddled her, and he understands that that overprotective parenting caused her to become entitled and self-centered, and that he does not know what to do... He said, she finds DC boring (they went to a museum yesterday and are going to one today) and wants to spend a week or so in NYC while figuring out what to say to her husband when she comes back from her trip.

To that I said that (i) I do not need to know all of HS private information; (ii) I am very sympathetic, but do not see any of this as my action item; (iii) that "my bucket is empty"; I have nothing more to give to the situation, and (iv) sounds like HS going to NYC might be a good idea. He'll talk to her, but the preliminary plan is for them to stay over the weekend, go to my son's tournament, then go out for a meal. I'll be gentle and supportive. He would then take her to NYC Monday morning, and come back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, this is OP. I took my dad out on a walk this morning and spoke to him.

I explained that I understand that this is not the best time in HS's life, and that I know life is complicated, unexpected things happen, and we all need to have empathy and show kindness to our fellow human beings, especially family.

He reiterated some of the HS problems; reminded me that she had a health issue a few years ago that required some gentle handling, and he and his wife coddled her, and he understands that that overprotective parenting caused her to become entitled and self-centered, and that he does not know what to do... He said, she finds DC boring (they went to a museum yesterday and are going to one today) and wants to spend a week or so in NYC while figuring out what to say to her husband when she comes back from her trip.

To that I said that (i) I do not need to know all of HS private information; (ii) I am very sympathetic, but do not see any of this as my action item; (iii) that "my bucket is empty"; I have nothing more to give to the situation, and (iv) sounds like HS going to NYC might be a good idea. He'll talk to her, but the preliminary plan is for them to stay over the weekend, go to my son's tournament, then go out for a meal. I'll be gentle and supportive. He would then take her to NYC Monday morning, and come back.

Great. While they're gone, move his stuff into the guest room and put on clean sheets. If she comes back, air mattress in the guest room.

[Anonymous]

I would sell the guest bed on Craigslist on Monday.

[Anonymous]

How old is she exactly, OP? Your dad should put her on a train! He can even pay for her ticket, but driving her there is ridiculous. How old is your dad? I am guessing HS's husband cheated on her, which gives me a little more sympathy.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you can enjoy the visit and get to know HS a bit better. Good luck!

OP is learning plenty about HS, and none of it's good. Which in a way is fine, because OP isn't invested on having a new bestie for life. But she's not interested in serving as hotellier to the ungrateful, either, and she isn't obligated to.

Let's be honest there is a lot of jealousy over the younger half sister

It's obvious you want to pretend she doesn't exist. You probably did that since she was born

You want your dad all to your self. This whole being a gracious host is bs

You are vindictive. Did you ever show an interest In her when she was younger? Doesn't seem like it. She probably avoids lenghty conversations with you because she can sense the bad energy coming from you

PP.. kindly, I think you are projecting your own feelings here. I’m just not seeing OP’s behavior as vindictive, jealous and that she “wants her dad all to herself” / wishes her HS didn’t exist. It’s completely normal for a child to want some one on one time with a parent. That doesn’t make the adult child vindictive or mean she wants to off her sibling. Nothing OP is doing is out of the realm of normal behavior…

Agree. Some weird comments on here make no sense. OP seems to be handling everything quite well and with a lot of emotional maturity. Some posters, on the other hand...

[Anonymous]

I can't believe your adult half-sister, with whom you don't have a real relationship, would even put you in that position. It can't be that comfortable for her either? If I were the half-sister, I would have either changed my return ticket to earlier or gotten a hotel room as soon as my plans fell through.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I can't believe your adult half-sister, with whom you don't have a real relationship, would even put you in that position. It can't be that comfortable for her either? If I were the half-sister, I would have either changed my return ticket to earlier or gotten a hotel room as soon as my plans fell through.

And to say that DC is boring, on top of that? I mean, it's good that OP's dad is telling her the truth about this (or seems to be), but yeah, it's kinda boring when you randomly show up to visit people who didn't invite you and had no time to make plans for your visit. And visiting busy working families is pretty boring, if you're a person without kids who wants to do something other than watch kids play soccer. Surprise, it's boring here.

[Anonymous]

So now sad sister is taking two days of OP's time with her dad away, entirely, because she can't take a train on her own?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, this is OP. I took my dad out on a walk this morning and spoke to him.

I explained that I understand that this is not the best time in HS's life, and that I know life is complicated, unexpected things happen, and we all need to have empathy and show kindness to our fellow human beings, especially family.

He reiterated some of the HS problems; reminded me that she had a health issue a few years ago that required some gentle handling, and he and his wife coddled her, and he understands that that overprotective parenting caused her to become entitled and self-centered, and that he does not know what to do... He said, she finds DC boring (they went to a museum yesterday and are going to one today) and wants to spend a week or so in NYC while figuring out what to say to her husband when she comes back from her trip.

To that I said that (i) I do not need to know all of HS private information; (ii) I am very sympathetic, but do not see any of this as my action item; (iii) that "my bucket is empty"; I have nothing more to give to the situation, and (iv) sounds like HS going to NYC might be a good idea. He'll talk to her, but the preliminary plan is for them to stay over the weekend, go to my son's tournament, then go out for a meal. I'll be gentle and supportive. He would then take her to NYC Monday morning, and come back.

Exactly my point you are hell bent on trying to paint poor HS as bad. Calling her self centered and entitled. This is your sister who is going through a bad time. You could try and be there for her. Stop being an a*especially
Gosh really feel do bad for her. All you are doing is trying to validate your own feelings by getting people to say negative things about her and how you are so gracious. Sorry OP not buying your bs

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hi, this is OP. I took my dad out on a walk this morning and spoke to him.

I explained that I understand that this is not the best time in HS's life, and that I know life is complicated, unexpected things happen, and we all need to have empathy and show kindness to our fellow human beings, especially family.

He reiterated some of the HS problems; reminded me that she had a health issue a few years ago that required some gentle handling, and he and his wife coddled her, and he understands that that overprotective parenting caused her to become entitled and self-centered, and that he does not know what to do... He said, she finds DC boring (they went to a museum yesterday and are going to one today) and wants to spend a week or so in NYC while figuring out what to say to her husband when she comes back from her trip.

To that I said that (i) I do not need to know all of HS private information; (ii) I am very sympathetic, but do not see any of this as my action item; (iii) that "my bucket is empty"; I have nothing more to give to the situation, and (iv) sounds like HS going to NYC might be a good idea. He'll talk to her, but the preliminary plan is for them to stay over the weekend, go to my son's tournament, then go out for a meal. I'll be gentle and supportive. He would then take her to NYC Monday morning, and come back.

Exactly my point you are hell bent on trying to paint poor HS as bad. Calling her self centered and entitled. This is your sister who is going through a bad time. You could try and be there for her. Stop being an a*especially
Gosh really feel do bad for her. All you are doing is trying to validate your own feelings by getting people to say negative things about her and how you are so gracious. Sorry OP not buying your bs

OP has done plenty for someone who she *does not even know*, and who never made the effort to get to know her either-- and continues not to do so even as a houseguest!

HS needs to grow up, stand on her own feet, or at least rely on her mommy and daddy to cater to her and not make it her older sister's problem as well.

[Anonymous]

I’m concerned about what will happen when she returns from
NYC. Does she have a return ticket yet?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Hope you can enjoy the visit and get to know HS a bit better. Good luck!

OP is learning plenty about HS, and none of it's good. Which in a way is fine, because OP isn't invested on having a new bestie for life. But she's not interested in serving as hotellier to the ungrateful, either, and she isn't obligated to.

Let's be honest there is a lot of jealousy over the younger half sister

It's obvious you want to pretend she doesn't exist. You probably did that since she was born

You want your dad all to your self. This whole being a gracious host is bs

You are vindictive. Did you ever show an interest In her when she was younger? Doesn't seem like it. She probably avoids lenghty conversations with you because she can sense the bad energy coming from you

That's a lot of projection, there. NP.