Dad brings a guest with him, my half-sister... to stay with us for three weeks...

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your two kids are school aged and have their own rooms, maybe they could share?

Oh ignore this, I hadn’t seen OP’s update, sounds like NYC might be a good plan for her.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your two kids are school aged and have their own rooms, maybe they could share?

Why should they? Seriously, this is an uninvited guest in a small home for THREE WEEKS who doesn’t seem to want interact at all with the family she’s freeloading off. Why would anyone want to cater to such an entitled child masquerading as an adult?

[Anonymous]

If your dad wants your sister in the guest room, he needs to go to a hotel.

[Anonymous]

Both of them- out by Sunday.

[Anonymous]

I am getting the sense that dad coerced HS into coming to the US with him or she came solely to take advantage of a free trip.

[Anonymous]

I have no half- or step-siblings, so have no loyalty to first or second family situations. However, I really dislike having houseguests for more than a couple of days. And if someone sprang a guest on me for THREE WEEKS!, I'd be livid. OP is being very gracious, but I feel her pain. Ugh, it sucks.

I remember when my DH's friends from Canada came to stay with us for a week, and I thought I'd go crazy, and they were pretty easygoing guests. But I didn't know them well, and our house was small, and it was annoying.

I hope they get out of OP's hair for a week or so in New York. I can see having a comfortable close relative stay but anyone else? No Way! It's like hosting an exchange student. Why? Why? Why? I can't think of anything I'd want to do less.

[Anonymous]

Op hasn’t returned to update. Did they tie her up, amp NY ans take over the house?

[Anonymous]

Hi, this is OP. Thanks for the comments. Posting here helps me not say rude things to the guests.

Dad and HS are leaving for NYC tomorrow (Monday) per the plan we discussed with dad Friday morning. He will help her get settled there and come back. Not my business to explain that she is a 24 year old adult and can travel to NYC by herself.

Today dad asked if she could stay till Wednesday because there may be a place for her with smn in NYC after Wednesday, to which I said "no, I have nothing else to give".

It's not been good. I previously said HS is polite. Indeed, when I said "good morning", she responded with "good morning" and when I said "please help yourself to anything you like in the kitchen", she said "thank you", but beyond that she never initiated one "good morning" or any other interaction with me or my kids or husband. She just asks dad to give her stuff if she is at the table, and she is in her phone all the time... I blamed that on her discomfort and asked her what I thought were warm neutral open-ended questions "how do you like DC?" "if you feel comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear about the class you teach", but got some very short answers and she is back on her phone.

A few times, I asked for help, eg. "if you are free before dinner, I'd be grateful if you could make us a salad," she mumbled something and sent dad to help.

At this point, I have no comment/reserve my judgment, I just want this situation to not be in my house, that's all.

I also need to talk to dad about "lessons learned".

[Anonymous]

Has he bought the train tickets yet?

He seems determined to stretch your patience as far as it will go.

[Anonymous]

OP, I think you give your dad too much credit. There are no lessons to be learned because he knows what he is doing. You don’t owe him any more discussion about the topic except to express you were taken advantage of, and you won’t let that happen again.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Hi, this is OP. Thanks for the comments. Posting here helps me not say rude things to the guests.

Dad and HS are leaving for NYC tomorrow (Monday) per the plan we discussed with dad Friday morning. He will help her get settled there and come back. Not my business to explain that she is a 24 year old adult and can travel to NYC by herself.

Today dad asked if she could stay till Wednesday because there may be a place for her with smn in NYC after Wednesday, to which I said "no, I have nothing else to give".

It's not been good. I previously said HS is polite. Indeed, when I said "good morning", she responded with "good morning" and when I said "please help yourself to anything you like in the kitchen", she said "thank you", but beyond that she never initiated one "good morning" or any other interaction with me or my kids or husband. She just asks dad to give her stuff if she is at the table, and she is in her phone all the time... I blamed that on her discomfort and asked her what I thought were warm neutral open-ended questions "how do you like DC?" "if you feel comfortable sharing, I'd love to hear about the class you teach", but got some very short answers and she is back on her phone.

A few times, I asked for help, eg. "if you are free before dinner, I'd be grateful if you could make us a salad," she mumbled something and sent dad to help.

At this point, I have no comment/reserve my judgment, I just want this situation to not be in my house, that's all.

I also need to talk to dad about "lessons learned".

OP, hold the boundary. This will stretch out past Wednesday, and you know it.

Take care.

[Anonymous]

Thanks for the update, OP. Hope she departs as planned and she doesn't come back. I'd be interested in hearing what your dad is like when he gets back.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Thanks for the update, OP. Hope she departs as planned and she doesn't come back. I'd be interested in hearing what your dad is like when he gets back.

He'll probably be really crabby. People get that way when their fantasy of a big happy family runs afould of reality.

[Anonymous]

Oh OP. Hugs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:If your two kids are school aged and have their own rooms, maybe they could share?

Why the heck would OP ever kick one of her own kids out of their bed/room to accommodate a person that they didn’t invite and don’t even like?