How do I tell my daughter's partner to back off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Honestly 23 year old men are pretty immature. What’s the real reason you don’t like him, OP?

He’s probably a different race. OP will deny it, of course, because anonymous message board, but there you go.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 23 year-old is either a senior or already graduated from college. The idea that her mother has any say in who she dates is hilarious.

But, go ahead and try OP, and get back to this thread on how it goes.

Yes, I'm definitely going to listen to someone who believes that 18 plus 3 is 23.

Can you actually not imagine that there might be some kids who are 23 when graduating college?

Gap years, mental health leave, COVID campus closures, 5 year plan--I know people in all those situations.

PP was being more inclusive in that answer while lacking specific info in the OP, which was a good idea.

Someone taking 5 years to graduate would be 22, not 23, upon graduation.

Maybe check your math. I started K at age 5 (turning 6 quite soon after the school year started) I graduated HS at 18 and graduated college, in 4 years, at age 22. I did have friends who were still 21 who had summer birthdays. It all has to do with when your birthday is and what the age cutoff is in your hometown school system.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't tell him anything; who the hell do you think you are? They are two adults who can do what they want. And also, I see nothing wrong with their age difference. They are both young adults.

Yes, my daughter is legally an adult. But what you have to understand is that 23 today is what 14 was when I was growing up.

What you have to understand is that who the adult daughter dates is her business and hers alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be happy if my 23 year old daughter was dating a 29 year old, but I wouldn't say anything. I would say something if a 33 year old tried to date my 19 year old daughter. My father and uncles certainly would have put a stop to it when I was 19 by taking the guy behind the woodshed for a good talking to.

What kind of Joh Deere Hillbilly YeeHaw nonsense is this?

If they tried doing that in 2023, they’d be arrested.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:A 23 year-old is either a senior or already graduated from college. The idea that her mother has any say in who she dates is hilarious.

But, go ahead and try OP, and get back to this thread on how it goes.

Yes, I'm definitely going to listen to someone who believes that 18 plus 3 is 23.

Can you actually not imagine that there might be some kids who are 23 when graduating college?

Gap years, mental health leave, COVID campus closures, 5 year plan--I know people in all those situations.

PP was being more inclusive in that answer while lacking specific info in the OP, which was a good idea.

Someone taking 5 years to graduate would be 22, not 23, upon graduation.

Uh, no. I was 22 when I graduated in four years and so were all my friends. 18-19, 19-20, 20-21, 21-22. I’m embarrassed for you that you needed this explained.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Honestly 23 year old men are pretty immature. What’s the real reason you don’t like him, OP?

He’s probably a different race. OP will deny it, of course, because anonymous message board, but there you go.

OP here. He is not of a different race, so there's that theory debunked.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:You don't tell him anything; who the hell do you think you are? They are two adults who can do what they want. And also, I see nothing wrong with their age difference. They are both young adults.

Yes, my daughter is legally an adult. But what you have to understand is that 23 today is what 14 was when I was growing up.

Hopefully, your "14" year-old daughter isn't voting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I would not be happy if my 23 year old daughter was dating a 29 year old, but I wouldn't say anything. I would say something if a 33 year old tried to date my 19 year old daughter. My father and uncles certainly would have put a stop to it when I was 19 by taking the guy behind the woodshed for a good talking to.

What kind of Joh Deere Hillbilly YeeHaw nonsense is this?

If they tried doing that in 2023, they’d be arrested.

Nobody would know.🤫

[Anonymous]

Op I agree with you. Why is a 29 yr old chasing a 22 yr old? Creep.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Op I agree with you. Why is a 29 yr old chasing a 22 yr old? Creep.

Think that or not, it’s not OP’s call but her daughter’s and she has no business saying anything.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a troll!! My mother encouraged me to date older guys when I was early 20s because she thought they'd have more money and be more ready to commit. I wasted time with guys my own age.

Not sure who's a worse troll, OP or you.

[Anonymous]

My DH is 8 years older than me AND a different race. Oh, the humanity.

I acted older than my age, he acted younger...so we had a good laugh and figured that we averaged mid-20s in maturity.

We also have a running joke that he was only dating me because I was under 21 and blonde and he hasn't gotten around to breaking up with me yet...that was 23 years ago.

Get over it OP.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 8 years older than me AND a different race. Oh, the humanity.

I acted older than my age, he acted younger...so we had a good laugh and figured that we averaged mid-20s in maturity.

We also have a running joke that he was only dating me because I was under 21 and blonde and he hasn't gotten around to breaking up with me yet...that was 23 years ago.

Get over it OP.

I get that women generally mature a litter faster than men, but not by SIX years. 26 should be the upper extreme for a 23-year-old.

[Anonymous]

OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

[Anonymous]

I can't believe that we're on page 7 and no one has mentioned the hard deck yet - age/2 + 7. OP's daughter is above the hard deck for her boyfriend. Plus, it's none of his business.

It's kind of a self-fulfilling prophecy, though. Any 23 yo woman who would listed to and be swayed by a parent on this issue really isn't mature enough to be dating someone older in the first place.