How do I tell my daughter's partner to back off?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

I'm not planning on saying anything to my daughter. She's done nothing wrong. She's the victim, here, and is too young to realize that. Her boyfriend's the one who oughta know better. It's HIS responsibility to end this inappropriate relationship. That's why I'm planning on talking to him, and him alone.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

I'm not planning on saying anything to my daughter. She's done nothing wrong. She's the victim, here, and is too young to realize that. Her boyfriend's the one who oughta know better. It's HIS responsibility to end this inappropriate relationship. That's why I'm planning on talking to him, and him alone.

When you do, pepper your speech with all kinds of "tough lady" talk like "Back off, buster! You're dealing with a fierce mama bear, mister, and I don't take no crap from the likes of you!!" And then record it and post the video here. It will be hilarious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I would not be happy if my 23 year old daughter was dating a 29 year old, but I wouldn't say anything. I would say something if a 33 year old tried to date my 19 year old daughter. My father and uncles certainly would have put a stop to it when I was 19 by taking the guy behind the woodshed for a good talking to.

You have no right to interfere. She is 19 and legally of age. Of course, we aren't talking about red neck, confederate flag waving, gun toting, front teeth missing, spitting tobacco juice, overall wearing cretins like your men folk.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

First your daughter is an adult and it's none of your business. Second why don't you tell your daughter to back off? I predict if they marry they'll cut off contact with uou right away.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

I'm not planning on saying anything to my daughter. She's done nothing wrong. She's the victim, here, and is too young to realize that. Her boyfriend's the one who oughta know better. It's HIS responsibility to end this inappropriate relationship. That's why I'm planning on talking to him, and him alone.

OK, but know that there is a 90% chance that conversation will get back to your daughter. So be prepared to deal with the consequences of that, whether they be positive or negative. And if the boyfriend does end it, your daughter may look at him as "the one that got away" and it will be your fault. I just don't see how it's worth it to get involved.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

First your daughter is an adult and it's none of your business. Second why don't you tell your daughter to back off? I predict if they marry they'll cut off contact with uou right away.

That would be completely unfair of me. She's too young to realize how inappropriate this relationship is. Her growna** boyfriend, on the other hand, knows full well that this is unacceptable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

First your daughter is an adult and it's none of your business. Second why don't you tell your daughter to back off? I predict if they marry they'll cut off contact with uou right away.

That would be completely unfair of me. She's too young to realize how inappropriate this relationship is. Her growna** boyfriend, on the other hand, knows full well that this is unacceptable.

Explain to me, like I'm 5, why this is an issue. Your daughter presumably went to college, graduated, has a job, and an apartment where she pays her own bills.

Help me understand how this growna** WOMAN is a victim of a man who is in the same decade of life as she is. I'll wait.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

First your daughter is an adult and it's none of your business. Second why don't you tell your daughter to back off? I predict if they marry they'll cut off contact with uou right away.

That would be completely unfair of me. She's too young to realize how inappropriate this relationship is. Her growna** boyfriend, on the other hand, knows full well that this is unacceptable.

Explain to me, like I'm 5, why this is an issue. Your daughter presumably went to college, graduated, has a job, and an apartment where she pays her own bills.

Help me understand how this growna** WOMAN is a victim of a man who is in the same decade of life as she is. I'll wait.

I'm not talking about her academic or financial achievements. I'm talking about the social and emotional immaturity of her and most women her age.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

First your daughter is an adult and it's none of your business. Second why don't you tell your daughter to back off? I predict if they marry they'll cut off contact with uou right away.

That would be completely unfair of me. She's too young to realize how inappropriate this relationship is. Her growna** boyfriend, on the other hand, knows full well that this is unacceptable.

Explain to me, like I'm 5, why this is an issue. Your daughter presumably went to college, graduated, has a job, and an apartment where she pays her own bills.

Help me understand how this growna** WOMAN is a victim of a man who is in the same decade of life as she is. I'll wait.

I'm not talking about her academic or financial achievements. I'm talking about the social and emotional immaturity of her and most women her age.

Yeah but most men are a few years behind maturity wise so they are essentially the same age

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

I'm not planning on saying anything to my daughter. She's done nothing wrong. She's the victim, here, and is too young to realize that. Her boyfriend's the one who oughta know better. It's HIS responsibility to end this inappropriate relationship. That's why I'm planning on talking to him, and him alone.

Let us know how it goes! And how your relationship with your daughter progresses!

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My 23-year-old daughter has been dating this man for a month now and I just found out that he's 29. Now, I know that he's not legally doing anything wrong, but for him to date a woman that much younger than him is still pretty gross, and he should know better. By the time I was 29, 23 already seemed very juvenile to me, and I wouldn't have even dared to considered dating someone so young.

Now, I already know what you're going to say; that most women his age are already married, so he has no choice but to date substantially younger women. To that I just have to say that that's kind of his own fault. If getting married was so important to him, he should've started looking for potential spouses in his early 20s. That said, single women his age do exist, and he can find them using online dating apps.

First your daughter is an adult and it's none of your business. Second why don't you tell your daughter to back off? I predict if they marry they'll cut off contact with uou right away.

That would be completely unfair of me. She's too young to realize how inappropriate this relationship is. Her growna** boyfriend, on the other hand, knows full well that this is unacceptable.

Explain to me, like I'm 5, why this is an issue. Your daughter presumably went to college, graduated, has a job, and an apartment where she pays her own bills.

Help me understand how this growna** WOMAN is a victim of a man who is in the same decade of life as she is. I'll wait.

I'm not talking about her academic or financial achievements. I'm talking about the social and emotional immaturity of her and most women her age.

Yeah but most men are a few years behind maturity wise so they are essentially the same age

That's odd. I don't know any young men who blow half their earnings on clothes and makeup.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

I'm not planning on saying anything to my daughter. She's done nothing wrong. She's the victim, here, and is too young to realize that. Her boyfriend's the one who oughta know better. It's HIS responsibility to end this inappropriate relationship. That's why I'm planning on talking to him, and him alone.

Let us know how it goes! And how your relationship with your daughter progresses!

I'll understand if she's mad at me now. But when she's about 26 or 27, she'll understand that I was just doing my job as her father.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:My DH is 8 years older than me AND a different race. Oh, the humanity.

I acted older than my age, he acted younger...so we had a good laugh and figured that we averaged mid-20s in maturity.

We also have a running joke that he was only dating me because I was under 21 and blonde and he hasn't gotten around to breaking up with me yet...that was 23 years ago.

Get over it OP.

I get that women generally mature a litter faster than men, but not by SIX years. 26 should be the upper extreme for a 23-year-old.

These are ADULTS. That logic works for like, a 15 year old girl and a 17 year old boy but people in their mid twenties…. Like…. No

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP can not like the situation, but she really shouldn't do anything about it. Her daughter is an adult. After college, I moved in with my boyfriend, I was 22. I'm sure my parents weren't thrilled, but they didn't say anything, and anyway what could they say? I had a job and was paying all my own rent and bills, I was completely supporting myself. I'm glad they didn't share reservations if they had any, because 30 years later that boyfriend is my husband and we have children. So if OP does say something, and the relationship becomes long term, she could potentially be shooting herself in the foot.

I'm not planning on saying anything to my daughter. She's done nothing wrong. She's the victim, here, and is too young to realize that. Her boyfriend's the one who oughta know better. It's HIS responsibility to end this inappropriate relationship. That's why I'm planning on talking to him, and him alone.

Let us know how it goes! And how your relationship with your daughter progresses!

I'll understand if she's mad at me now. But when she's about 26 or 27, she'll understand that I was just doing my job as her father.

Oh you’re her FATHER???? I just visibly shuddered. Stay out of your adult daughters sex life for the love of god.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you need to ground your daughter and give her a good talking to. Take her to church more and arrange some playdates with her same age peers. Maybe ask her advisor if she's still in college, or check with her boss if she already graduated and has a job. I'm sure they can tell you the names of some of the people she gets along with during lunchtime or at recess. Oops, I don't think they call it recess anymore after they're adults. Well, whatever the adult equivalent of recess is, I'm sure they can tell you whose moms to contact and make arrangements with.

The point is, when she starts meeting some good young men you approve of, under your direction and of course while you chaperone, she'll probably forget about this old dude she's dating. You might want to alert the police about him via the nonemergency number, because everyone knows that late twenty somethings who date early twenty somethings are practically pedophiles.

That is, I believe, going out on Friday night, getting hammered, and bl0wing her 29 yo boyfriend in the bar's bathroom.

Is this OP? If so, this is so bizarre. You’re her father. And you’re talking about her blowing her boyfriend in a bar bathroom?? This cannot be real. Do you have a fetish about your own daughter?