Divorce when kids go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This totally f*d up up one of my dearest friends and his siblings for life. He felt like his entire life had been a sham an has had an extreme amount of difficulty with relationships and trust, 20 years later.

Why? Because his mom finally left the terrible situation after launching the children?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This totally f*d up up one of my dearest friends and his siblings for life. He felt like his entire life had been a sham an has had an extreme amount of difficulty with relationships and trust, 20 years later.

Why? Because his mom finally left the terrible situation after launching the children?

Well, yes.

He would have rather his mother actually *be* pretending to be happy.

He felt like he and his siblings were the burden of his parents unhappiness, as if they hadn’t been there, they would have split. “I was unhappy and put my entire life and actualize riot on hold for you” is a huge burden for a person who never asked for that.

His parents never let them know there was any unhappiness in their relationship. It was all a big farce, and now he feels he can not judge happiness, or his instincts about his relationships.

When asked, he says he would have much rather them divorce and coparent amicably, which he thinks they could have done as they did the rest of the charade.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you wait until the child needs to focus on study and then you are going to rip apart their life and potentially cause them to fail due to all the family drama.

You sound very selfish.

Your question is very telling about your own thoughts and motivation.
You are concerned that your husband would choose not to help his child because of your behavior/choice to divorce him.
Why would you think that other people would punish a child to get back at the other parent unless, you yourself, are the type person to do that.

Just go ahead a rip apart the family now. Maybe by the time the kid(s) go to college he/she will be able to focus and study.

Grow up. Stop the threats. A terrible marriage isn’t good for anyone or the kids. It’s not an easy decision to divorce but it’s usually very thought out by the time someone files. Sure it’s the best worst option, but it needs to happen. So you do it.

Most kids move away for college and know which adult they go to with what questions or emotional support. They’re 18 or older.
If parents communicate they’re there for them, holidays, long weekends, talking, support, brainstorming, etc. All the normal parenting stuff that hopefully was always happening for 18 years- at least by one parent…

DP - the bolded is exactly why many of us, often speaking from personal experience, are telling people NOT to wait to divorce. While you're biding your time, you're also subjecting your kids to a lot of unhappiness for... what, exactly?

Stop pretending that this is about preventing the kids from seeing an unhappy marriage and thereby subjecting them to unhappiness. This is about what YOU want and what's good for YOU not them.

If you wanted to, you could live together amicably and co-parent such that the kids never noticed the "terrible marriage" but you won't do that because you only think of yourself.

Not with mentally disordered coparent or abuser or addict plus the current state and view of family courts (dysfunctional parents rights trumps the healthy and safety of a child).

Which is a minute fraction of all divorces, but you're pretending they're all like that when the vast majority are really just one parent saying, "I'm bored and I want out".

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

No that is not an honest accounting. If any CS is received when your kid is at college, a decent parent would apply ALL of it (100%) to college costs (tuition, room, board, expenses, travel).

Charging your kid a fraction of the mortgage and living expenses when they're home from college, GTFO with that nonsense. That's just you trying to chisel more money out of your ex. You are a disgusting human being if you do that.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

No that is not an honest accounting. If any CS is received when your kid is at college, a decent parent would apply ALL of it (100%) to college costs (tuition, room, board, expenses, travel).

Charging your kid a fraction of the mortgage and living expenses when they're home from college, GTFO with that nonsense. That's just you trying to chisel more money out of your ex. You are a disgusting human being if you do that.

The ex who is making a lot should be paying extra from his pocket, not try to divert CS legit expenses from mother of his child, if she's much lower paid. That is what disgusting.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you wait until the child needs to focus on study and then you are going to rip apart their life and potentially cause them to fail due to all the family drama.

You sound very selfish.

Your question is very telling about your own thoughts and motivation.
You are concerned that your husband would choose not to help his child because of your behavior/choice to divorce him.
Why would you think that other people would punish a child to get back at the other parent unless, you yourself, are the type person to do that.

Just go ahead a rip apart the family now. Maybe by the time the kid(s) go to college he/she will be able to focus and study.

Grow up. Stop the threats. A terrible marriage isn’t good for anyone or the kids. It’s not an easy decision to divorce but it’s usually very thought out by the time someone files. Sure it’s the best worst option, but it needs to happen. So you do it.

Most kids move away for college and know which adult they go to with what questions or emotional support. They’re 18 or older.
If parents communicate they’re there for them, holidays, long weekends, talking, support, brainstorming, etc. All the normal parenting stuff that hopefully was always happening for 18 years- at least by one parent…

DP - the bolded is exactly why many of us, often speaking from personal experience, are telling people NOT to wait to divorce. While you're biding your time, you're also subjecting your kids to a lot of unhappiness for... what, exactly?

Stop pretending that this is about preventing the kids from seeing an unhappy marriage and thereby subjecting them to unhappiness. This is about what YOU want and what's good for YOU not them.

If you wanted to, you could live together amicably and co-parent such that the kids never noticed the "terrible marriage" but you won't do that because you only think of yourself.

+1

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you wait until the child needs to focus on study and then you are going to rip apart their life and potentially cause them to fail due to all the family drama.

You sound very selfish.

Your question is very telling about your own thoughts and motivation.
You are concerned that your husband would choose not to help his child because of your behavior/choice to divorce him.
Why would you think that other people would punish a child to get back at the other parent unless, you yourself, are the type person to do that.

Just go ahead a rip apart the family now. Maybe by the time the kid(s) go to college he/she will be able to focus and study.

Grow up. Stop the threats. A terrible marriage isn’t good for anyone or the kids. It’s not an easy decision to divorce but it’s usually very thought out by the time someone files. Sure it’s the best worst option, but it needs to happen. So you do it.

Most kids move away for college and know which adult they go to with what questions or emotional support. They’re 18 or older.
If parents communicate they’re there for them, holidays, long weekends, talking, support, brainstorming, etc. All the normal parenting stuff that hopefully was always happening for 18 years- at least by one parent…

DP - the bolded is exactly why many of us, often speaking from personal experience, are telling people NOT to wait to divorce. While you're biding your time, you're also subjecting your kids to a lot of unhappiness for... what, exactly?

Stop pretending that this is about preventing the kids from seeing an unhappy marriage and thereby subjecting them to unhappiness. This is about what YOU want and what's good for YOU not them.

If you wanted to, you could live together amicably and co-parent such that the kids never noticed the "terrible marriage" but you won't do that because you only think of yourself.

Not with mentally disordered coparent or abuser or addict plus the current state and view of family courts (dysfunctional parents rights trumps the healthy and safety of a child).

Which is a minute fraction of all divorces, but you're pretending they're all like that when the vast majority are really just one parent saying, "I'm bored and I want out".

Lady. The person who is bored and wants out is the one who leaves the kids with the other spouse. They are the problem. You know nothing about divorce. It’s obvious.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

It's my XW who is the jerk who thinks she shouldn't have to pay anything - and in fact refuses to pay for the things she explicitly agreed to pay in the separation agreement. That's the unfortunate truth.

Then you should take her to court and request reimbursement. She will owe your attorneys' fees as well. But it's a responsible parent obligation to maintain kids financially as you're figuring all this out

No, it doesn't work that way in reality. With my latest issue--ex-W won't take the kids to the doctor or dentist, and won't let the kids be on my better and cheaper health and dental insurance, my lawyer tells me to prepare to spend $50,000 going to court, and then it's a roll of the dice that I win, and even worse odds that I am awarded legal costs.

Previous times when my ex was found in contempt of court I was not awarded any lawyer fees at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:This totally f*d up up one of my dearest friends and his siblings for life. He felt like his entire life had been a sham an has had an extreme amount of difficulty with relationships and trust, 20 years later.

Why? Because his mom finally left the terrible situation after launching the children?

Well, yes.

He would have rather his mother actually *be* pretending to be happy.

He felt like he and his siblings were the burden of his parents unhappiness, as if they hadn’t been there, they would have split. “I was unhappy and put my entire life and actualize riot on hold for you” is a huge burden for a person who never asked for that.

His parents never let them know there was any unhappiness in their relationship. It was all a big farce, and now he feels he can not judge happiness, or his instincts about his relationships.

When asked, he says he would have much rather them divorce and coparent amicably, which he thinks they could have done as they did the rest of the charade.

So nothing seemed wrong to him about their marriage? No arguments, household roles issues, no addictions, no money problems, no adultery, no neglect…?.

Hmm. Has he ever asked each of them what happened? Or is communication bad all the way around?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:So you wait until the child needs to focus on study and then you are going to rip apart their life and potentially cause them to fail due to all the family drama.

You sound very selfish.

Your question is very telling about your own thoughts and motivation.
You are concerned that your husband would choose not to help his child because of your behavior/choice to divorce him.
Why would you think that other people would punish a child to get back at the other parent unless, you yourself, are the type person to do that.

Just go ahead a rip apart the family now. Maybe by the time the kid(s) go to college he/she will be able to focus and study.

Grow up. Stop the threats. A terrible marriage isn’t good for anyone or the kids. It’s not an easy decision to divorce but it’s usually very thought out by the time someone files. Sure it’s the best worst option, but it needs to happen. So you do it.

Most kids move away for college and know which adult they go to with what questions or emotional support. They’re 18 or older.
If parents communicate they’re there for them, holidays, long weekends, talking, support, brainstorming, etc. All the normal parenting stuff that hopefully was always happening for 18 years- at least by one parent…

DP - the bolded is exactly why many of us, often speaking from personal experience, are telling people NOT to wait to divorce. While you're biding your time, you're also subjecting your kids to a lot of unhappiness for... what, exactly?

Stop pretending that this is about preventing the kids from seeing an unhappy marriage and thereby subjecting them to unhappiness. This is about what YOU want and what's good for YOU not them.

If you wanted to, you could live together amicably and co-parent such that the kids never noticed the "terrible marriage" but you won't do that because you only think of yourself.

Not with mentally disordered coparent or abuser or addict plus the current state and view of family courts (dysfunctional parents rights trumps the healthy and safety of a child).

Which is a minute fraction of all divorces, but you're pretending they're all like that when the vast majority are really just one parent saying, "I'm bored and I want out".

Holy moly, you are misinformed and uninformed.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

No that is not an honest accounting. If any CS is received when your kid is at college, a decent parent would apply ALL of it (100%) to college costs (tuition, room, board, expenses, travel).

Charging your kid a fraction of the mortgage and living expenses when they're home from college, GTFO with that nonsense. That's just you trying to chisel more money out of your ex. You are a disgusting human being if you do that.

The ex who is making a lot should be paying extra from his pocket, not try to divert CS legit expenses from mother of his child, if she's much lower paid. That is what disgusting.

Or, he can help with college and expenses directly vs paying mom plus all those expenses because mom refuses to use the money on the child. Kid can stay with dad breaks and holidays.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

It's my XW who is the jerk who thinks she shouldn't have to pay anything - and in fact refuses to pay for the things she explicitly agreed to pay in the separation agreement. That's the unfortunate truth.

Then you should take her to court and request reimbursement. She will owe your attorneys' fees as well. But it's a responsible parent obligation to maintain kids financially as you're figuring all this out

No, it doesn't work that way in reality. With my latest issue--ex-W won't take the kids to the doctor or dentist, and won't let the kids be on my better and cheaper health and dental insurance, my lawyer tells me to prepare to spend $50,000 going to court, and then it's a roll of the dice that I win, and even worse odds that I am awarded legal costs.

Previous times when my ex was found in contempt of court I was not awarded any lawyer fees at all.

You can add kids to your insurance. This has nothing to do with your ex. The kids will be double insured. He should not have to pay for your insurance if he is providing it.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

No that is not an honest accounting. If any CS is received when your kid is at college, a decent parent would apply ALL of it (100%) to college costs (tuition, room, board, expenses, travel).

Charging your kid a fraction of the mortgage and living expenses when they're home from college, GTFO with that nonsense. That's just you trying to chisel more money out of your ex. You are a disgusting human being if you do that.

The ex who is making a lot should be paying extra from his pocket, not try to divert CS legit expenses from mother of his child, if she's much lower paid. That is what disgusting.

Child support is for the child’s expenses not the mothers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Really? At one point I was paying $2,100/mo in Maryland. So a year's tuition at UVA was being paid in CS by me.

If your kid was a MD resident, $2100 is not even close to enough to cover a year of college at UVA. Also, many parents pay for college and still cover their kids’ other expenses (college is only 8 months a year) - paying cs is the bare minimum for a parent.

Exactly - UVA is what, 30k/year? The guy is a jerk. It's the parent with most assets (not the one who cheated) should pay. Children are not guilty for their mother or father cheating. But it's usually cheating dads who think CS is all they owe to kids

Any woman who considers having kids should have minimum expectations from men and rely only on her financials for kids' college. That's the unfortunate truth. My exH is a millionaire, he doesn't want even to pay $50 for private lessons couple times a month for our special needs child. I pay

If one is paying child support that covers their obligation. The receiving parent can choose to use the money for the child or themselves as their is no accountability. $30k a year covers a state school. If child and mom choose differently mom can cover costs or child can take loans. That is post tax money for dad. Moms often cheat and don’t use the money on the kids.

If pp is getting child support, private lessons are included in child support or use your income.

No CS covers only the child's living expenses (which include the mom's 50% of mortgage, food and clothing). It does not include college: parents should agree separately on this additional financial obligation when getting divorced, if they care for kids. You basically waive any obligation on your part for your child's college obligation. I feel sorry for the woman who married you and birthed your kids: you are irresponsible jerk. SUch guys don't pay even when they cheat. And how a parent cheating even relate to kids future? I can see why she left you.

No it is not 50% of mortgage and it covers that parents share of full expenses. If you get child support and your kid is away at college that money is for them not your mortgage.

In most states child support is over at 18. Just like married parents there is no requirement to pay for college.

While the child still resides with parent the mortgage is absolutely counted in. Kids when in college also reside with parents 4 months out of 12, parents also have right to use CS for any of kid living expenses including avia tickets to college. CS is for the child but it’s sent to parent who can decide the direction how it’s spent it. An honest parent would count in 50% of mortgage and all living expenses for the months child spent at home, air fare to college abs any child independent travel, transfer the rest to university for rent. It won’t be enough for tuition in 90% cases

Actually it’s not. It is a percentage of dads income. Child can go sta6 with dad. Child is not a roommate. It does not cost 50% for child. When child moves out, then what?