Divorce when kids go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I’m talking about make $100k or less and don’t want to spend it on their children period before 18 and after.

People who make 100k and less can’t afford elite colleges no matter married or divorced. They need to move into a state with decent schools for in state tuition and have their kids in sports to reduce living expenses. Or have kids reside with a parent throughout college - this is how it’s done in Europe.

Actually people making < $100K most likely will get full scholarship. It's the people making $125 that are screwed.

Living expenses are almost as much as tuition in elite colleges it’s much harder to get discounted. You must be doing something for college: competing, tutoring etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

When I met with my attorney they specifically said the reason my ex was fighting for 50/50 custody and no college was because he didn't want to pay anymore than the bare minimum. He didn't get 50/50 custody and had to pay more in CS but I don't get any college money from him. He is a blue-collar worker. I think this is more typical with the mid to lower classes than the upper classes, but that's just a guess.

There was no need for him to “fight” no college: no court in any state would obligate a parent to pay fir college beyond community college. You can only pressure in negotiations to sign it, if you have leverage on the ex spouse.
Of course even higher income dads don’t want to pay! See what they say above: why don’t you get your child a cheaper SAT prep? No I can’t. My child already passed 1500 threshold with online course after 2 months self prep, and to get 1550 (which gets him into his goal college) he must take the only existing in the area tailored tutorship service. Dad enrolled him into $99/month shitty class well below his level. I just paid $6k for a higher level SAT prep myself, it’s 6 months of CS
Dad makes over a $1mm/year; I make $300k/year

You think you somehow represent the middle and lower classes? No one cares about families making $300k and above. You can get whatever you need to be successful in America. Why are you on here if you have zero money problems?

300k is nothing in dmv after college expenses . The point is millionaire ex husbands couldn’t care less. I know several extremely high income dads (sold businesses etc) who didn’t pay or tried to shift college funding on much lower paid exes. Yes they’re exes are not poor but the point is dads used it as means of retaliation at ex wife who got assets in divorce they thought she didn’t deserve. All moms are know (lots of WB, IMF etc professional women) pay for colleges themselves and dads stepped aside.
And I do think that if a mom is making 100k and dad makes 300k college is on him and it is a separate financial obligation from CS which doesn’t account for it

No. He should pay 75% of the college expenses and she should pay 25%.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

When I met with my attorney they specifically said the reason my ex was fighting for 50/50 custody and no college was because he didn't want to pay anymore than the bare minimum. He didn't get 50/50 custody and had to pay more in CS but I don't get any college money from him. He is a blue-collar worker. I think this is more typical with the mid to lower classes than the upper classes, but that's just a guess.

There was no need for him to “fight” no college: no court in any state would obligate a parent to pay fir college beyond community college. You can only pressure in negotiations to sign it, if you have leverage on the ex spouse.
Of course even higher income dads don’t want to pay! See what they say above: why don’t you get your child a cheaper SAT prep? No I can’t. My child already passed 1500 threshold with online course after 2 months self prep, and to get 1550 (which gets him into his goal college) he must take the only existing in the area tailored tutorship service. Dad enrolled him into $99/month shitty class well below his level. I just paid $6k for a higher level SAT prep myself, it’s 6 months of CS
Dad makes over a $1mm/year; I make $300k/year

You think you somehow represent the middle and lower classes? No one cares about families making $300k and above. You can get whatever you need to be successful in America. Why are you on here if you have zero money problems?

300k is nothing in dmv after college expenses . The point is millionaire ex husbands couldn’t care less. I know several extremely high income dads (sold businesses etc) who didn’t pay or tried to shift college funding on much lower paid exes. Yes they’re exes are not poor but the point is dads used it as means of retaliation at ex wife who got assets in divorce they thought she didn’t deserve. All moms are know (lots of WB, IMF etc professional women) pay for colleges themselves and dads stepped aside.
And I do think that if a mom is making 100k and dad makes 300k college is on him and it is a separate financial obligation from CS which doesn’t account for it

No. He should pay 75% of the college expenses and she should pay 25%.

It depends on a college costs. If it’s $100k/year she can’t pay 30k after tax abs become homeless. He still can pay 100k and still have roof over his head

[Anonymous]

I would divorce atleast a year prior so you can include one income on the Fasfa and still try to get him to contribute

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

When I met with my attorney they specifically said the reason my ex was fighting for 50/50 custody and no college was because he didn't want to pay anymore than the bare minimum. He didn't get 50/50 custody and had to pay more in CS but I don't get any college money from him. He is a blue-collar worker. I think this is more typical with the mid to lower classes than the upper classes, but that's just a guess.

There was no need for him to “fight” no college: no court in any state would obligate a parent to pay fir college beyond community college. You can only pressure in negotiations to sign it, if you have leverage on the ex spouse.
Of course even higher income dads don’t want to pay! See what they say above: why don’t you get your child a cheaper SAT prep? No I can’t. My child already passed 1500 threshold with online course after 2 months self prep, and to get 1550 (which gets him into his goal college) he must take the only existing in the area tailored tutorship service. Dad enrolled him into $99/month shitty class well below his level. I just paid $6k for a higher level SAT prep myself, it’s 6 months of CS
Dad makes over a $1mm/year; I make $300k/year

You think you somehow represent the middle and lower classes? No one cares about families making $300k and above. You can get whatever you need to be successful in America. Why are you on here if you have zero money problems?

300k is nothing in dmv after college expenses . The point is millionaire ex husbands couldn’t care less. I know several extremely high income dads (sold businesses etc) who didn’t pay or tried to shift college funding on much lower paid exes. Yes they’re exes are not poor but the point is dads used it as means of retaliation at ex wife who got assets in divorce they thought she didn’t deserve. All moms are know (lots of WB, IMF etc professional women) pay for colleges themselves and dads stepped aside.
And I do think that if a mom is making 100k and dad makes 300k college is on him and it is a separate financial obligation from CS which doesn’t account for it

No. He should pay 75% of the college expenses and she should pay 25%.

No, it should be all voluntary BUT, if Mom is getting child support that is his contribution. There are so many factors to it but you shouldn't get child support and expect dad to pay for college and expenses. Married parents aren't obligated to pay for college, neither should divorce.

If you do a 75/25 split, she gets child support he's paying 100%

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:The people I’m talking about make $100k or less and don’t want to spend it on their children period before 18 and after.

People who make 100k and less can’t afford elite colleges no matter married or divorced. They need to move into a state with decent schools for in state tuition and have their kids in sports to reduce living expenses. Or have kids reside with a parent throughout college - this is how it’s done in Europe.

Actually people making < $100K most likely will get full scholarship. It's the people making $125 that are screwed.

Living expenses are almost as much as tuition in elite colleges it’s much harder to get discounted. You must be doing something for college: competing, tutoring etc.

Child can go to the state school.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

When I met with my attorney they specifically said the reason my ex was fighting for 50/50 custody and no college was because he didn't want to pay anymore than the bare minimum. He didn't get 50/50 custody and had to pay more in CS but I don't get any college money from him. He is a blue-collar worker. I think this is more typical with the mid to lower classes than the upper classes, but that's just a guess.

There was no need for him to “fight” no college: no court in any state would obligate a parent to pay fir college beyond community college. You can only pressure in negotiations to sign it, if you have leverage on the ex spouse.
Of course even higher income dads don’t want to pay! See what they say above: why don’t you get your child a cheaper SAT prep? No I can’t. My child already passed 1500 threshold with online course after 2 months self prep, and to get 1550 (which gets him into his goal college) he must take the only existing in the area tailored tutorship service. Dad enrolled him into $99/month shitty class well below his level. I just paid $6k for a higher level SAT prep myself, it’s 6 months of CS
Dad makes over a $1mm/year; I make $300k/year

You make $300K and can afford it all. Dad paid for a class, it wasn't good enough for you so you choose to pay more. You are looking for drama and to complain when there is nothing to complain about. What Dad did was reasonable.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college

Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.

Because it’s not your kid anymore if you divorce your spouse?

No, because when you're married, finances for both parents are easier (they are sharing a home rather than paying for two homes), there is no feeling (or much less feeling) of anger about who pays what (as opposed to divorce when one party thinks they're paying too much and the other party thinks they're not receiving enough), and last but not least, when you're married you are partners working for each other's mutual benefit - everyone can be a winner - whereas when you're divorced you are adversaries and there is a winner and a loser.

Not all divorces are adversaries with no winners and no losers. Some want the best for the kids and continue to be 50/50. I suspect those that were never 50/50 are the ones with an issue, when 1 person expects the other person to continue to foot the bill 100%.

Not true. My ex still insists on son staying with him 50% although we fight over all expenses . He infect threatens son that if he moves 100% to me then dad won’t pay for the late year of private school. He uses lack of certain provisions in MSA to enforce custody schedule

Sounds like you are trying to sabotage Dad and you are the problem. If child chooses not to have a relationship with Dad and you support it, you can pay for those extra's.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

When I met with my attorney they specifically said the reason my ex was fighting for 50/50 custody and no college was because he didn't want to pay anymore than the bare minimum. He didn't get 50/50 custody and had to pay more in CS but I don't get any college money from him. He is a blue-collar worker. I think this is more typical with the mid to lower classes than the upper classes, but that's just a guess.

There was no need for him to “fight” no college: no court in any state would obligate a parent to pay fir college beyond community college. You can only pressure in negotiations to sign it, if you have leverage on the ex spouse.
Of course even higher income dads don’t want to pay! See what they say above: why don’t you get your child a cheaper SAT prep? No I can’t. My child already passed 1500 threshold with online course after 2 months self prep, and to get 1550 (which gets him into his goal college) he must take the only existing in the area tailored tutorship service. Dad enrolled him into $99/month shitty class well below his level. I just paid $6k for a higher level SAT prep myself, it’s 6 months of CS
Dad makes over a $1mm/year; I make $300k/year

You think you somehow represent the middle and lower classes? No one cares about families making $300k and above. You can get whatever you need to be successful in America. Why are you on here if you have zero money problems?

300k is nothing in dmv after college expenses . The point is millionaire ex husbands couldn’t care less. I know several extremely high income dads (sold businesses etc) who didn’t pay or tried to shift college funding on much lower paid exes. Yes they’re exes are not poor but the point is dads used it as means of retaliation at ex wife who got assets in divorce they thought she didn’t deserve. All moms are know (lots of WB, IMF etc professional women) pay for colleges themselves and dads stepped aside.
And I do think that if a mom is making 100k and dad makes 300k college is on him and it is a separate financial obligation from CS which doesn’t account for it

No. He should pay 75% of the college expenses and she should pay 25%.

It depends on a college costs. If it’s $100k/year she can’t pay 30k after tax abs become homeless. He still can pay 100k and still have roof over his head

Even if the kid goes to a stupidly expensive school that doesn't mean she should pay nothing.