Reply to Divorce when kids go to college?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]So you wait until the child needs to focus on study and then you are going to rip apart their life and potentially cause them to fail due to all the family drama.

You sound very selfish.

Your question is very telling about your own thoughts and motivation.
You are concerned that your husband would choose not to help his child because of your behavior/choice to divorce him.
Why would you think that other people would punish a child to get back at the other parent unless, you yourself, are the type person to do that.

Just go ahead a rip apart the family now. Maybe by the time the kid(s) go to college he/she will be able to focus and study.
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Grow up. Stop the threats. [b]A terrible marriage isn’t good for anyone or the kids.[/b] It’s not an easy decision to divorce but it’s usually very thought out by the time someone files. Sure it’s the best worst option, but it needs to happen. So you do it.

Most kids move away for college and know which adult they go to with what questions or emotional support. They’re 18 or older. 
If parents communicate they’re there for them, holidays, long weekends, talking, support, brainstorming, etc. All the normal parenting stuff that hopefully was always happening for 18 years- at least by one parent…

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DP - the bolded is exactly why many of us, often speaking from personal experience, are telling people NOT to wait to divorce.  While you're biding your time, you're also subjecting your kids to a lot of unhappiness for... what, exactly?[/quote]

Stop pretending that this is about preventing the kids from seeing an unhappy marriage and thereby subjecting them to unhappiness. This is about what YOU want and what's good for YOU not them.

If you wanted to, you could live together amicably and co-parent such that the kids never noticed the "terrible marriage" but you won't do that because you only think of yourself.[/quote]

Not with mentally disordered coparent or abuser or addict plus the current state and view of family courts (dysfunctional parents rights trumps the healthy and safety of a child). [/quote]

Which is a minute fraction of all divorces, but you're pretending they're all like that when the vast majority are really just one parent saying, "I'm bored and I want out".[/quote]

Lady. The person who is bored and wants out is the one who leaves the kids with the other spouse. They are the problem. You know nothing about divorce. It’s obvious. [/quote]

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