Divorce when kids go to college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Being married or divorced has nothing to do with paying for college

Yes it does. When you're married, you're much more likely to cooperate about how much each parent should be compared to when you're divorced.

Because it’s not your kid anymore if you divorce your spouse?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

You don't understand the laws. Neither parent has to spend that money on the kids. So, Mom can collect child support and not spend it on the child as there is no accountability. If child is away at college, Mom should be using that money plus a portion of her income to pay for college. That is Dad's share of the child's expenses. If space is an issue, child can go stay with Dad for holidays/summer. Mom needs to pay for her own housing and stop expecting Dad to subsidize her. And, if she chooses to keep that money, don't complain when Dad is not paying extra for college when he's still paying her and she's refusing to financially support the child in any way with Dad's money. Child needs living expenses for college not in mom's home. This is why they need to stop child support at 18 as often it doesn't actually go to the child's needs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

You don't understand the laws. Neither parent has to spend that money on the kids. So, Mom can collect child support and not spend it on the child as there is no accountability. If child is away at college, Mom should be using that money plus a portion of her income to pay for college. That is Dad's share of the child's expenses. If space is an issue, child can go stay with Dad for holidays/summer. Mom needs to pay for her own housing and stop expecting Dad to subsidize her. And, if she chooses to keep that money, don't complain when Dad is not paying extra for college when he's still paying her and she's refusing to financially support the child in any way with Dad's money. Child needs living expenses for college not in mom's home. This is why they need to stop child support at 18 as often it doesn't actually go to the child's needs.

Nope. If kids spend 4 months out of 12 at moms place and also commute to her town, she buys them clothing and food this is money spent on their direct needs until age 21. Dad just need to pay for college, as mom who makes 100k can’t afford it anyway. It’s a poverty level in most states she is only obligated to pay 50% of community college tuition. If dad wants kids to be educated and makes more himself extra expenses on college is on him. CS only takes into account community college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

This woman is not living in a 1BR apartment. She is getting "pitiful" CS because she has a good income herself. She's just greedy and selfish.

But let's say she "needs" this CS for her mortgage so the kids can have a place to stay when they visit. What happens in 3 years when the kid graduates and CS ends? If she bought a house that absolutely requires the CS payment for her to make the mortgage, then she deserves to get thrown out into the street when CS ends. But the obvious fact is that she does not need that CS to make the mortgage, it's just extra play money for her and she should be putting that towards her kids college expenses.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

Different PP but it is abundantly obvious this money is not being spent on what the kids need. I have kids and I don't spend $1,000/mo on them.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

You don't understand the laws. Neither parent has to spend that money on the kids. So, Mom can collect child support and not spend it on the child as there is no accountability. If child is away at college, Mom should be using that money plus a portion of her income to pay for college. That is Dad's share of the child's expenses. If space is an issue, child can go stay with Dad for holidays/summer. Mom needs to pay for her own housing and stop expecting Dad to subsidize her. And, if she chooses to keep that money, don't complain when Dad is not paying extra for college when he's still paying her and she's refusing to financially support the child in any way with Dad's money. Child needs living expenses for college not in mom's home. This is why they need to stop child support at 18 as often it doesn't actually go to the child's needs.

Nope. If kids spend 4 months out of 12 at moms place and also commute to her town, she buys them clothing and food this is money spent on their direct needs until age 21. Dad just need to pay for college, as mom who makes 100k can’t afford it anyway. It’s a poverty level in most states she is only obligated to pay 50% of community college tuition. If dad wants kids to be educated and makes more himself extra expenses on college is on him. CS only takes into account community college.

Child can go stay with Dad if its a housing issue. Generally, kids have visits with their Dad's during holidays and summers. If Mom makes $100K, she has a good income and that's horrible to force a child into community college because she chooses to use it on herself and her needs vs. Dad's. $100K plus child support is far from the poverty level. https://www.healthcare.gov/glossary/federal-poverty-level-fpl/ Many families fully live on less than that. To demand Dad pay all tuition and college expenses PLUS pay child support that isn't going to the child is absurd. Just because you prefer to use child support on yourself doesn't make it right. You are hurting your child. On $100K plus child support you should have saved, and that child support is part of Dad's contribution. So, you use that money, pay half out of your income and ask Dad to contribute the other half or child can take loans. Your housing costs are your responsibility. Your child is now an adult. You aren't getting alimony on that income so its not yours to spend on your income. Dad has zero obligation to pay for college, just like you have zero obligation.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

You don't understand the laws. Neither parent has to spend that money on the kids. So, Mom can collect child support and not spend it on the child as there is no accountability. If child is away at college, Mom should be using that money plus a portion of her income to pay for college. That is Dad's share of the child's expenses. If space is an issue, child can go stay with Dad for holidays/summer. Mom needs to pay for her own housing and stop expecting Dad to subsidize her. And, if she chooses to keep that money, don't complain when Dad is not paying extra for college when he's still paying her and she's refusing to financially support the child in any way with Dad's money. Child needs living expenses for college not in mom's home. This is why they need to stop child support at 18 as often it doesn't actually go to the child's needs.

Nope. If kids spend 4 months out of 12 at moms place and also commute to her town, she buys them clothing and food this is money spent on their direct needs until age 21. Dad just need to pay for college, as mom who makes 100k can’t afford it anyway. It’s a poverty level in most states she is only obligated to pay 50% of community college tuition. If dad wants kids to be educated and makes more himself extra expenses on college is on him. CS only takes into account community college.

Get outta here with this garbage. If she makes $100k she is perfectly capable of contributing to college costs and she should do so in proportion to the total income of both parents - e.g., if he makes $200k then she should pay one third of the total college costs, if he makes $300k then she should pay one quarter, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

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Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

Different PP but it is abundantly obvious this money is not being spent on what the kids need. I have kids and I don't spend $1,000/mo on them.

I spend more than that but it's because kids are in sports, private music lessons and other things. Those things are option and we wouldn't do them if we couldn't afford it. We have to have a house, so I don't include housing costs as that room would not be used if the child wasn't in it. Food isn't as much as most staples we buy for the family and it's only child-specific foods. And, if child is at college they'd be on a meal plan. We don't make a super high income and we still do all that and save for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

You don't understand the laws. Neither parent has to spend that money on the kids. So, Mom can collect child support and not spend it on the child as there is no accountability. If child is away at college, Mom should be using that money plus a portion of her income to pay for college. That is Dad's share of the child's expenses. If space is an issue, child can go stay with Dad for holidays/summer. Mom needs to pay for her own housing and stop expecting Dad to subsidize her. And, if she chooses to keep that money, don't complain when Dad is not paying extra for college when he's still paying her and she's refusing to financially support the child in any way with Dad's money. Child needs living expenses for college not in mom's home. This is why they need to stop child support at 18 as often it doesn't actually go to the child's needs.

Nope. If kids spend 4 months out of 12 at moms place and also commute to her town, she buys them clothing and food this is money spent on their direct needs until age 21. Dad just need to pay for college, as mom who makes 100k can’t afford it anyway. It’s a poverty level in most states she is only obligated to pay 50% of community college tuition. If dad wants kids to be educated and makes more himself extra expenses on college is on him. CS only takes into account community college.

Get outta here with this garbage. If she makes $100k she is perfectly capable of contributing to college costs and she should do so in proportion to the total income of both parents - e.g., if he makes $200k then she should pay one third of the total college costs, if he makes $300k then she should pay one quarter, etc.

No, it should not be proportional if Dad is already paying child support. All expenses are included in that child support calculation except if ordered otherwise. Its either child support or college expenses. Its absurd to expect Dad to pay child support PLUS college costs when mom could use the child support for her amount so that isn't close to it. And, normal would be Dad pay 1/3, which he is via child support, Mom pay 1/3, which she can use child support for and child pay 1/3. However, child is an adult and college is not mandatory so there is no obligation by either parent to pay. But, bottomline is DAD is paying child support for an adult and that money should be used for his portion of college. If mom refuses to use it on the child, that's on her, not him.

[Anonymous]

Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:How would that be different from staying married? Its parent's choice to pay. You can always pay.

For whatever reason, divorced dads are statistically less likely to pay for their kids' college than married ones.

Isn't it because they are now paying alimony to the their formerly non working ex-SAHM wife, and often child support too while having to pay for their new apartment/house as well?

This occurs even when the SAHW was responsible--cheating, etc.

Your children have nothing to do with your wrong choice to marry a no career woman who stayed at home.

I would hope she would get a job to help contribute to the college fund. I mean, it's not like she can use taking care of kids anymore once she's in empty nest..and divorced so truly only herself to look after.

And in retaliation you left your kids without college education. Now your kids and grandkids will be blue collar workers: are you happier?

Bachelors is new GED. Most people in this area have PhDs

It's not him retaliating. It's her being selfish. If he's paying alimony and CS to a non-working XW who could work, and thus he can't afford to pay for his kids college, it is her decision that is ruining his kids lives, not his. His money is finite, and if men with guns force him to give his money to his XW, with the best will in the world he can't come up with more money for his kids college.

I am talking about a situation when dad who makes $300k is being petty over his $1000 CS spent by lower paid exW on kids staying with her during winter breaks. That’s obviously not enough. Such men don’t pay for college

That absolutely isn't true however, that $1K should be used for college and living expenses. A child visiting with mom on winter break is a visit, not living here and Mom is being greedy by demanding Dad pay her child support and still pay all expenses and college tuition/room/board. That's not how it works. The $1K goes as part of Dad's share, Mom pays a share, and then the parents can discuss with the child the remaining balance. $12K a year is a lot of money given mom should also be paying part of her income to expenses. Child support is not alimony. Mom needs to move into housing she can afford alone and child can stay with Dad during the holiday if space is an issue. If he's paying $1K a month in child support after 18, that is his contribution to college.

That's not what the law is, you are wrong. CS is not a college ear marked expense. Court system doesn't recognize college obligation beyond community colleges. Mom receives CS to equalize her household living conditions with exH to make children equally comfortable on college visits at both homes. She has the right to spend the CS on child's clothing, meals, presents, air fare and the pro-rated mortgage while kids are with her (and in particular when kids are with her all 4 months out of college).

We’re talking about what decent honest people would do, not what the court says, PP is exactly right - if she is keeping CS to herself “because kids coming home from college cost money” instead of using that to contribute to tuition then she is a disgusting and dishonest human being. You know full well she’s just bilking her XH for play money, she’s not spending it on the kid.

Kids need stable households on both sides: mom and dad. Mom shouldn't be packing her kids in a one bedroom apartment when they visit her for summer out of college. Kids have many expenses, and she has full right to spend this pitiful child support on their needs when they visit her, including housing.

That’s not pitiful child support and mom also has an obligation. Kids can stay with dad on breaks. Mom needs to move to housing she can afford. Alimony is for her needs. This money should be for the child. Neither parent has to pay for college. If mom will not, why should dad when he’s paying child support.

That’s not correct understanding of child support purposes and laws. Mom is not obligated to transfer CS money to child when in college. So don’t pay anything out of your bitterness for $12000/year that went for your kids needs at exW household

Different PP but it is abundantly obvious this money is not being spent on what the kids need. I have kids and I don't spend $1,000/mo on them.

I spend more than that but it's because kids are in sports, private music lessons and other things. Those things are option and we wouldn't do them if we couldn't afford it. We have to have a house, so I don't include housing costs as that room would not be used if the child wasn't in it. Food isn't as much as most staples we buy for the family and it's only child-specific foods. And, if child is at college they'd be on a meal plan. We don't make a super high income and we still do all that and save for college.

Same PP. My kids are also in sports and music lessons and I'm still not spending $1,000/mo.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

If Dad is paying the child support after the age of 18, then they are paying their fair share. That is what the courts determined is their share.

And, you could have found much cheaper class.

The discussion is about a college student who is living at college and visiting both parents in their homes. If mom no longer has the same housing, child can stay at Dad's and visit mom.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Well, I am paying well beyond my CS on my child expenses. One SAT prep courses for high score is $3690. It’s 4 months of CS. Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread. Parents housing expenses are included in CS calculation - check Maryland CS application form. It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability.

Anyone divorcing when kids are about to start college should think twice if that decision would leave kids without a good college education

My separation agreement says we have to split college prep costs but I bet that'll be another thing XW says I should pay for all by myself.

"Dads don’t feel like paying for college which is obvious from this thread" -- it's just the usual "all men suck" garbage you find in DCUM Relationships but I see no particular reason to believe it.

"It’s targeted to even out the income level at both households to provide kids stability" -- that's gotta end sometime and I would argue it should very obviously end when the kids leave home for college. The arguments in this thread that kids need or deserve parents who have "equal" homes when they come home for holidays or summers is total nonsense. A kid who comes home from a dorm to stay with her mom is not deprived if her mom has a smaller home than her dad.

Or, kids can go stay with Dad during breaks. Problem solved. Usually Dad's get holidays and summers so that is their normal time with Dad.