How do your kids address their friends' parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

+1000

I hate being called Ms. X.

[Anonymous]

Ms. Larla and Mr. Larlo.

New Yorker living in New England.

[Anonymous]

They generally call me “Ms. [my first name]” but I would respond to Mrs. [my last name]. This is in Nova.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:This is a common thing, at least in our social circles. Would just let it be.

We teach our kids to use Mr lastname or Mrs lastname. Please let it be if they do this.

[Anonymous]

Ugh OP you are lucky! It’s the other way around for me, kids’ friends insist on calling me by first name. I don’t want to be called by my first name by them. Why shouldn’t I be allowed to ask that they call me Ms. First Name?

[Anonymous]

^sorry I forgot the OP after reading all the comments. I think a kid insisting on skewing towards being respectful in a way that you’re maybe not the most comfortable with, is still better than a kid who insists on being disrespectful

[Anonymous]

I will let kids call me anything they want… but I prefer my first name. The worst was this one kid who used to call out “um Larla’s Mom!” I said, you can call me Mary. She seemed to alternate between Larla’s mom and nothing at all. Now, she doesn’t come over much. I don’t easily feel disrespected. They just need to follow any explicit rules I bother to give them… and stop bad behavior when I ask them to stop.

[Anonymous]

We try to get him to say “Mr Smith” or “Mrs. Tam.” But usually he doesn’t always think of the last name right away so he just says “Larlo’s Mom” or “Larlita’s Dad.” He is friends with our neighbor’s son and at age 6 or 7 once called the neighbor by his first name. I was mortified.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will let kids call me anything they want… but I prefer my first name. The worst was this one kid who used to call out “um Larla’s Mom!” I said, you can call me Mary. She seemed to alternate between Larla’s mom and nothing at all. Now, she doesn’t come over much. I don’t easily feel disrespected. They just need to follow any explicit rules I bother to give them… and stop bad behavior when I ask them to stop.

I’m in my 40s and I still want to call my MIL “Larlo’s Mom.” It’s weird to think of calling her “Mrs. Johnson” and I can’t call her by her first name! FIL calls his MIL “mom” and I think that’s weird too.

[Anonymous]

We're all first names over here. When referring to a friend's family we refer to them as "The Gemmas" or "The Ethans." Nobody in our circles is putting on airs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Ms. Larla and Mr. Larlo.

New Yorker living in New England.

Poop

[Anonymous]

I want to teach my kid respect, and in my view, calling someone by what they would like to be called (whether it’s Mrs or first name or whatever) is a way of practicing this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I will let kids call me anything they want… but I prefer my first name. The worst was this one kid who used to call out “um Larla’s Mom!” I said, you can call me Mary. She seemed to alternate between Larla’s mom and nothing at all. Now, she doesn’t come over much. I don’t easily feel disrespected. They just need to follow any explicit rules I bother to give them… and stop bad behavior when I ask them to stop.

That's... weird. You feel disrespected and seem happy this friend doesn't come over much now... all because she would call you "Larla's Mom"? It's not like she called you "Sally." Did she break any of your other rules or was she generally rude and disrespectful? In many cultures, the norm is to call someone "Larla's Mom." Adults and children both do this. I wouldn't say it is disrespectful.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're all first names over here. When referring to a friend's family we refer to them as "The Gemmas" or "The Ethans." Nobody in our circles is putting on airs.

We definitely do "the Ethans" unless our kid is close with more than one kid.

We model "Ms. First Name" style address, but I have no idea what my kid actually calls anyone, because I'm usually not there. Friends tell us she's polite, which is what really matters.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Wondering how your kids typically address their friends' parents (and how your kids' friends address you)?

My kids are 8 and 10. Their friends address me and my husband by our first names. And within our immediate kid-friend group this is the norm.

However, when my kids are meeting "new parents" initially, I will push Mr. & Mrs/Ms. unless they've previously initiated first name introductions (and my kids are still at an age when they're not really engaging with other parents that I haven't previously met).

i had a slight strange (to me) situation crop up recently where a friend of my son kept calling me Mrs. X (even after I said call me 'Y"). I emphasized this in front of the kid's mother and she said, that in their family "respect is important" (yes, she actually said that) and their children *always* address other parents by Mr./Mrs. But now it's kind of weird...because this kid was over last week with a couple of other friends of my son and the kid kept calling me Mrs. X while the other kids were calling me Y.

I guess I just leave it? It's awkward for me for the kid to be calling me Mrs. X (especially in the presence of other kids who just call me Y) but I don't want to cause problems with the other parent.

What's other people's experience on all of this. I'm used to first name usage - but maybe that's just our own social group????

Umm I still call people older than me with the proper Mrs., Ms. Mr. I am 40. When I wave to our elderly neighbor, I say Hi Miss X,
My kid is expected to follow that.
I do not use this with peers and/or coworkers.