How do your kids address their friends' parents?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I have a neighbor who doesn't like it when kids call her by her first name. No problem, we teach our kids to call adults by mr. or ms. first name unless told otherwise. But then the same woman does not say a word when her child calls me by my first name.

Did you ask the child to do that?

[Anonymous]

I am a teacher (and parent) and have taught in various parts of the country and have been FirstName or Mrs LastName. This is very regional. I do not think calling adults by first name is the cause of anything but I think it is part of the package of kids generally seeing themselves as equals to adults and parents having fewer boundaries with kids overall. Has pros and cons. It’s a very different parenting culture and style.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I strongly prefer Ms Firstname when they are younger and as they are older Mrs Lastname. That is what I teach my kids. I don’t want kids calling me by my first name. I think it sends a weird message that we are buddies hanging out and we’re not. Same as calling teachers Mrs or Lastname.

I would never make a scene about it though. My kid would probably just refrain from using your name if you insisted on first name.

It reminds me of when my MIL said I should call her mom. For those of you saying you should call a person what they want to be called. That felt deeply uncomfortable to me. I have a mom and it’s not you.

I’ve never understood in laws who do this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're all first name here. If a parent said that line about respect to me I would respond "the most respectful thing is to call someone what they want to be called. And I'd like to be called Sara."

I’d still tell my kid to call you Ms. So and So, which he/she would.

Then YOU are impolite and have terrible manners.

No, I’m not. We disagree on manners and ultimately I am the parent.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I strongly prefer Ms Firstname when they are younger and as they are older Mrs Lastname. That is what I teach my kids. I don’t want kids calling me by my first name. I think it sends a weird message that we are buddies hanging out and we’re not. Same as calling teachers Mrs or Lastname.

I would never make a scene about it though. My kid would probably just refrain from using your name if you insisted on first name.

It reminds me of when my MIL said I should call her mom. For those of you saying you should call a person what they want to be called. That felt deeply uncomfortable to me. I have a mom and it’s not you.

I went to a private school where we called all teachers and staff by first name. It didn’t make us think we were buddies hanging out, we still had tons of respect for them, and all was copacetic.

The beauty of private schools is that like minded people can find each other. The type of parents who want their kids to call adults by their last name likely aren’t choosing a school with this type of set up.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

No thanks.

Your feelings gonna be hurt Bugga boo?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

No thanks.

Your feelings gonna be hurt Bugga boo?

It’s not my child’s job to make assuage your adult feelings. It’s my child’s job to be respectful of adults and that’s the message I’m relaying to my kid. I find this insistence to make a child address you in a way that will make him feel uncomfortable, and go against his parent’s wishes, to be impolite. Let it go.

[Anonymous]

Growing up we called everyone Mr/Mrs Lastname. But there was one family who insisted we call them just First Name, or if we protested we were encouraged to call them Aunt/Uncle First Name. They were very much "not a regular mom but a cool mom."

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I have a neighbor who doesn't like it when kids call her by her first name. No problem, we teach our kids to call adults by mr. or ms. first name unless told otherwise. But then the same woman does not say a word when her child calls me by my first name.

Did you ask the child to do that?

The difference might be that you said to her child that it was ok and she didn’t say that to yours.

[Anonymous]

First name

My kids went to a progressive school. They called all adults at school by their first names. So it made sense that they called other kid's parents by their first name. I got used to it and it feels weird to be called Mrs. LastName by kids.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're all first name here. If a parent said that line about respect to me I would respond "the most respectful thing is to call someone what they want to be called. And I'd like to be called Sara."

I’d still tell my kid to call you Ms. So and So, which he/she would.

Then YOU are impolite and have terrible manners.

No, I’m not. We disagree on manners and ultimately I am the parent.

You're not MY parent. And *I* want to be called Rachel. Not Ms. Rachel. Not Mrs. DeStefano. Just ... Rachel. By everyone other than my OWN children. By my doctors, my clients, my neighbors (of all ages), my peers, etc.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

Please teach your kids to be polite by calling people what they want to be called. Even if that’s their first name.

No thanks.

Your feelings gonna be hurt Bugga boo?

It’s not my child’s job to make assuage your adult feelings. It’s my child’s job to be respectful of adults and that’s the message I’m relaying to my kid. I find this insistence to make a child address you in a way that will make him feel uncomfortable, and go against his parent’s wishes, to be impolite. Let it go.

Your kid can still act like a brat while calling someone Mr/Mrs. I've seen it often.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're all first name here. If a parent said that line about respect to me I would respond "the most respectful thing is to call someone what they want to be called. And I'd like to be called Sara."

I’d still tell my kid to call you Ms. So and So, which he/she would.

Then YOU are impolite and have terrible manners.

No, I’m not. We disagree on manners and ultimately I am the parent.

You're not MY parent. And *I* want to be called Rachel. Not Ms. Rachel. Not Mrs. DeStefano. Just ... Rachel. By everyone other than my OWN children. By my doctors, my clients, my neighbors (of all ages), my peers, etc.

Noice

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:We're all first name here. If a parent said that line about respect to me I would respond "the most respectful thing is to call someone what they want to be called. And I'd like to be called Sara."

I’d still tell my kid to call you Ms. So and So, which he/she would.

Then YOU are impolite and have terrible manners.

No, I’m not. We disagree on manners and ultimately I am the parent.

You're not MY parent. And *I* want to be called Rachel. Not Ms. Rachel. Not Mrs. DeStefano. Just ... Rachel. By everyone other than my OWN children. By my doctors, my clients, my neighbors (of all ages), my peers, etc.

This level of reaction is so weird. Who is this worked up over this?

I could give a shit what people's kids call me. I tell my own kid to call people Mrs/Mr LastName and I respond to all names that are generally appropriate. I'm not going to insist a child call me Martha because it makes me feel old to be called Mrs Dumptruck. Some weird power trip.

[Anonymous]

My kids go to a Friends school so they’ve been conditioned to call all adults by their first names. It will be interesting to see what happens when they go to public high school.