How do your kids address their friends' parents?

[Anonymous]

My kids’ friends when in elementary and even now in MS have always addressed me as “DC’s mom”. I am afraid my kids do same.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:For the people who think that a parent who prefers to be addressed by her first name ought to defer to a parent who wants her children to address other parents by Mr/Mrs X...do you think that a parent who prefers to be addressed as Mrs. X ought to defer to the parent who wants her children to address other adults by their first name?

In other words, there seem to be a lot of people who believe that if Sally Smith wants to be addressed as Sally but Donna Dunmore wants her kids to address Sally as Mrs. Smith then Sally should accept this. If Donna wants Sally's kids to address her as Mrs. Dunmore but Sally's thinks her kids should just call her Donna, are you as accepting it ought to be Sally's right to decide how her children address other adults?

Reading this thread, I'm surprised at how many people use Ms. Firstname - how is it i've never encountered it before. Not growing up or at my kids' schools, either...including pre-school or daycare. I didn't even know it was a thing. Calling an adult Miss Donna or Miss Sally makes me envision people prancing around a plantation or something.

Learn how to write concise articulate sentences

I understood the post perfectly; work on improving your reading comprehension.

And the point is a valid one—if parents are the final arbiter of how their child addresses other adults, then parents who insist on their kids calling other parents Mrs. Smith will have to tolerate being called Donna by parents who have taught their children to use first names. Otherwise they are circumventing the other parents’ teachings, and would be hypocritical.

I instill formal/semi-formal names for MY kids to follow, but if another kid calls me Sally I dont object. Because their parents have different rules for them. It doesnt bother me that their kids are uncouth. Aint my circus! I am also not easily offended by children and their norms.

[Anonymous]

Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

[Anonymous]

Yeah I mean, half the time they call me "[Friend]'s Mom."

I'm get called Ms. FirstName, or Mrs. LastName - almost never just FirstName. I encourage my kids to use Ms./Mr. FirstName. But when it comes to how I am addressed, I don't care at all.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

Do you really not see any difference in the situation you described and PP’s?

[Anonymous]

Mom is "toots" and Dad is "bub"

[Anonymous]

They address them however they have been asked to address them.

[Anonymous]

Default to start with is Mrs. or Mr. Last Name, then if the adult says they prefer something else we use whatever the adult requests.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

Do you really not see any difference in the situation you described and PP’s?

The student teacher is TOLD by the school what to have students call them. It's not their choice. The situation was that he CHOSE to ask teen girls for their pager numbers. It has nothing to do with him using his first name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Anything but first name is fine with me, and I teach my kids not to call adults by their first names. If an adult insisted on being called Bobby I would have that conversation with my kid when it came up.

In my view, if an adult is fine with being called by their first name, that could just be a regional thing or how they were raised. But if an adult absolutely INSISTS on being called by their first name by children, there is something off - trying to erase boundaries, be "one of the cool moms," something like that. I had one student teacher in high school who insisted we call him Greg and he also asked several 15/16 year old girls for their pager numbers, so my antennae are up for stuff like this.

You're a little overboard with your paranoia. I went to a private HS where everyone was on a first name basis. My principal was Kevin. I didn't even KNOW the last names of most of my teachers. They were all professional yet we also all felt close with them. Having everyone (of all ages) call me by my first name is not about being cool. It's about being approachable and inviting and not feeling formal and standoff-ish.

Do you really not see any difference in the situation you described and PP’s?

The student teacher is TOLD by the school what to have students call them. It's not their choice. The situation was that he CHOSE to ask teen girls for their pager numbers. It has nothing to do with him using his first name.

Incorrect. We had more. Than one student teacher and only one who wanted to inappropriately erase boundaries between adults and kids, or, as we're calling it in this thread, "be[ing] approachable and inviting and ... not standoff-ish."

[Anonymous]

Okay respect is important but I think it's pretty disrespectful of the mom to tell you you will be called what she says instead of what you say

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We're all first names over here. When referring to a friend's family we refer to them as "The Gemmas" or "The Ethans." Nobody in our circles is putting on airs.

lol it’s only putting on airs if you were raised without these manners and they don’t come naturally to you. I would very much prefer Mrs [last name] so I am already meeting people more than halfway with Ms [first name], especially since I continue to feel so disrespected when called it

[Anonymous]

I prefer to be called by my first name, and my children call adults by their first names. This is fully accepted in my community. It’s not disrespectful to use a name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I don’t allow my kids to call adults by their first name. Please don’t try to override the parents on this.

+1000

This.

My kids were taught to politely say no thank you to the offer of first name use, and stick to Mrs LastName. I did not allow anyone's child to call me by my first name. Kids are adaptable that way. I also really hate the Mrs FirstName--and in my case my last name is much easier for young kids to say than my first name anyway.

Okay but you understands this is pretty rude - there's no way to tell a person "politely" they won't call you by what is asked? I just find it ironic that people think they are teaching their kids to be polite by going against the expressed preferences of an adult - it's terrible etiquette