SAHMs with no retirement or college savings

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

SAHM can contribute to IRAs and should. I stopped working 16 years ago but still have more money in my 401ks and IRAs than my husband because I contributed more in my 20s and 30s.

Stop spreading lies. It’s to a Roth which is limited to a small dollar amount each year. Compared to a lot more if you’re employed with a 401k and match.

If she's telling the truth, her H is a loser with a low salary.

NP. I thought only middle schoolers and Trump called people losers.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:The problem here is the ludicrous cost of college.

It’s not lazy and selfish to fail to prepare for this. We shouldn’t turn an economic problem into a moral issue.

This is the best post on the thread.

I would only add that we should prepare for the system we have, it's magical thinking not to. But it's a flawed, failed system of unregulated capitalism that puts profits over people and communities, like so many sectors in the U.S.

[Anonymous]

Wow. OP....Time to mind your own business and let other people mind theirs.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Haters gonna hate. I’m a SAHM of teenagers and have been for years. It works well for my family and our lifestyle.

I don’t give a flip about what strangers on the internet think I should be doing.

I have a small pension from the years that I worked, as well as a 457 plan, Vanguard IRA, and stocks. My kids each have a prepaid college tuition plan.

You do you.

People and their reading comprehension. OP is discussing a SAHM who doesn't have either of these things and worries about it. You have taken care of these things so this doesn't apply to you.

Maybe her so-called haters are in no way envious of her life. I deeply disliked not working. It was good in the very early years to stay home, it felt like my purpose. After that I needed a paid purpose and to be on equal footing with my DH, as well as save for college. I love earning money, love doing my actual work, love being challenged to improve my skills and communication through work, love being recognized for my work. Did not like feeling aimless.

[Anonymous]

There are lots of people who are doing poorly in this country. Why should anyone care if someone is stupid with their finances? Everyone does not need to go to college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a working mom, what pisses me off is that all the sahms want to come back to work at 40 making the same income as everyone else who has 15 years of experience. No way. You have to start from the bottom and work your way up like the rest of us did.

I guess this could be industry specific, but I certainly understand why someone with 10-15 years of experience before SAH wouldn't want to start all over at the bottom. Or if they did that, I'd think it reasonable that they move up quicker the second time around they did the first time. As a SAH I've been pleasantly surprised how much I've used my organizational, project management, networking, and writing skills for PTA and other school and civic association activities. There were a few SAHP up thread interested in $40K/ year for 35 hours a week, flexibility, and potential tuition. $40K is less than I earned at my first job as a fed but I'd apply for that now.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

This isn’t the SAHM fault. Why isn’t it a law that married people can share their names on a 401k? All other assets from the marriage are usually considered joint property.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:As a working mom, what pisses me off is that all the sahms want to come back to work at 40 making the same income as everyone else who has 15 years of experience. No way. You have to start from the bottom and work your way up like the rest of us did.

I don’t think anyone really expects the same pay as someone who stayed in the entire time, but they also have some previous experience so they shouldn’t have to start from the bottom. Also most women these day do have 10 or 15 years experience before they have kids and SAH.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

This isn’t the SAHM fault. Why isn’t it a law that married people can share their names on a 401k? All other assets from the marriage are usually considered joint property.

I don't see what the big deal is with the 401K being in the husband's name. in the case of divorce the 401K is a marital asset and split.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

This isn’t the SAHM fault. Why isn’t it a law that married people can share their names on a 401k? All other assets from the marriage are usually considered joint property.

I don't see what the big deal is with the 401K being in the husband's name. in the case of divorce the 401K is a marital asset and split.

It’s not a huge deal. It’s more the principle of the matter. Would you want your primary residence only in the name of your spouse? Sure, your husband can give you the log in and you can perform trades, transfer money etc. But it’s not your money. To make it your money, you’d need to get divorced and have the assets transferred into your name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

This isn’t the SAHM fault. Why isn’t it a law that married people can share their names on a 401k? All other assets from the marriage are usually considered joint property.

I don't see what the big deal is with the 401K being in the husband's name. in the case of divorce the 401K is a marital asset and split.

It’s not a huge deal. It’s more the principle of the matter. Would you want your primary residence only in the name of your spouse? Sure, your husband can give you the log in and you can perform trades, transfer money etc. But it’s not your money. To make it your money, you’d need to get divorced and have the assets transferred into your name.

I agree its inconvenient, annoying, and 1950s-esque. I was responding to the idea that SAHPs don't have retirement when it's all in their partner's name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:What’s interesting to me is that a lot of SAHMs don’t seem to realize they aren’t contributing to retirement. They will often say their husband is saving in other accounts, but they don’t recognize how the benefit of a 401k is bankruptcy, tax deferred etc. They also don’t seem to understand that their husband’s 401k is only in his name. My own mother stayed home and I have power of attorney for my dad. She can’t even call up the brokerage firm to make a transaction since her name isn’t on the account. SAHms are truly screwed on the retirement front.

This isn’t the SAHM fault. Why isn’t it a law that married people can share their names on a 401k? All other assets from the marriage are usually considered joint property.

I don't see what the big deal is with the 401K being in the husband's name. in the case of divorce the 401K is a marital asset and split.

It’s not a huge deal. It’s more the principle of the matter. Would you want your primary residence only in the name of your spouse? Sure, your husband can give you the log in and you can perform trades, transfer money etc. But it’s not your money. To make it your money, you’d need to get divorced and have the assets transferred into your name.

I agree its inconvenient, annoying, and 1950s-esque. I was responding to the idea that SAHPs don't have retirement when it's all in their partner's name.

I mean they kind of don’t have retirement. They are relying on their spouse’s retirement. Technically the spouse could have all of the minimum distributions sent to a bank account in his name and the DW would have no legal claim to prevent this. Really the only way to truly have control over a spouse’s retirement is to get divorced.

Personally I wouldn’t be thrilled if I stayed home and raised his kids and supported a man’s career to later discover his retirement funds are only in his name.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I'm that SAHM of high school students, and I keep busy. I am in my mid 50s. My industry collapsed with the Great Recession when our kids were small and we suddenly didn't have $2500/month for childcare. We have relocated more than once for my husband's job. It was cheaper to be at home. The kids needed me there.

Our oldest is a freshman at a terrific university, and has a small student loan for this year. Parenting a well-adjusted child who launches successfully doesn't just happen; it is hard work. The transition to college has been seamless so far, she has embraced the opportunity and is happy and doing the work. Go, girl, go!

I was outside yesterday with a saw, trimming big trees. That one task would cost us $3,000 to hire that out (yes, I priced it). I cook dinners from scratch six days a week. I don't look at myself as selfish, or irresponsible at all. I am always moving, always doing, volunteering and living life. My husband of nearly 30 years tells me every day how he couldn't do this without me, and thanks me (no really).

I will have a pretty nice 401(k) in my own name in addition to other retirement funds since I manage my own stock trades on the regular, too. I log in, and get it done.

A lot of us are, OP.

See your post would have made perfect sense but you had to throw in that dig. I am a working parent. I get fulfillment from work, it's not all about the money. But I have no issues with SAHPs because I can understand that people make decisions based on what they feel is best for their families. I see no need to disparage you about your decisions to make me feel better about mine. The fact that you do says a lot.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem judgmental. You have no concept of how someone else might live given your income. It may not pay for her to work and earn minimum wage. After taxes, its not going to make a huge dent in college savings and may hurt with financial aid.

+1. Exactly this.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I swear you people are among the most gullible or the Internet. The OP is trolling. She made this up. Don’t people have better things to do with a Friday night?

Omg. You are so right. I fell for it!!

Ughhh me too