SAHMs with no retirement or college savings

[Anonymous]

I was tracking in the first paragraph until I got to the second paragraph. Now I’m not sure if it’s a troll post or just not self-aware.

[Anonymous]

MYOB

[Anonymous]

I'd love to know of jobs which allow you to work 8/9-2/3 and only when your kids are in school. Aside from teaching or part time admin I can't think of anything.

I'd agree with you that it is selfish for someone to fritter away money all day so their kids have to take out college loans, but don't pretend there are tons of jobs with hours that align with parents who have chosen to make themselves available when their kids are out of school.

[Anonymous]

I'm a SAHM with a similar financial situation to yours and I would just say that it's easy to judge other people when you have such abundance in your own life.

[Anonymous]

You sound like a really shitty friend, OP. Would you say this to her directly? If not, don’t gossip about it elsewhere.

[Anonymous]

Why do you feel the need to judge others? Are you just insecure about the choices you have made for yourself? Maybe she is dealing with health issues of a parent or other family member. Especially in the area of mental health, people don’t always share that sort of thing. Maybe she felt like her mother didn’t spend enough time with her when she was growing up, and doesn’t want to make the same mistake with her own kids. Maybe she feels like her marriage will be more successful if both spouses aren’t stressed out all the time with work. Maybe, maybe, maybe…you have no idea why she has made the choices she has made, nor should you care.

[Anonymous]

If a woman had a high-powered career before having children, it can be difficult to get back into that line of work when the kids get older. And at that point, she and/or her husband might be embarrassed to have friends or former colleagues run into her working at the mall or some equally low-end part-time job.

[Anonymous]

OP, have you given the maid, nanny, housekeeper and gardener better wages so they can pay for college?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear you people are among the most gullible or the Internet. The OP is trolling. She made this up. Don’t people have better things to do with a Friday night?

+1

I think this is the same troll who started the thread in the college forum about why people haven’t saved for college.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I swear you people are among the most gullible or the Internet. The OP is trolling. She made this up. Don’t people have better things to do with a Friday night?

Op here. I did not make this up. I would not talk about this to other people in real life so I posted here. I have young kids I put to bed at 8.

I’m a sahm so I meet a lot of other SAHMs. It is one thing to be a sahm when your spouse is a high earner or your child has special needs. I don’t understand why a mother would not go back to work if your family needed the money.

[Anonymous]

I think you're a troll, but I'l answer why I probably won't go back to work even though I might not even be able to pay for tuition at a state school.

I have applied to many, many jobs, and I can't get any that will work with a flexible-ish schedule that would actually make a decent amount of money. I am being picky, I know, but I would like medical and maybe 60K. The only thing I can think of that would get me some marketable skills are going back to school (which would require money upfront) or doing something very low-paying in the hopes that it would eventually lead to something more. I'm not sure I'd be better off doing that than I would be focusing on saving money at home.

Right now, I like being able to do all my home tasks while the kids are at school so we can all just chill on the weekends, and I like spending after-school time with my kids since they are going to be gone so soon. At this point I'm not going to get a job that wouldn't let me do those things so they can go to a more expensive school. That is just my choice.

Also, some people don't realize just how expensive college has become. They think that the way to afford college is pretty much the same as what it was when they went, and that every single person complaining about student loans is just an idiot who went to a college that can change lives for a degree in gender studies.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:I think you're a troll, but I'l answer why I probably won't go back to work even though I might not even be able to pay for tuition at a state school.

I have applied to many, many jobs, and I can't get any that will work with a flexible-ish schedule that would actually make a decent amount of money. I am being picky, I know, but I would like medical and maybe 60K. The only thing I can think of that would get me some marketable skills are going back to school (which would require money upfront) or doing something very low-paying in the hopes that it would eventually lead to something more. I'm not sure I'd be better off doing that than I would be focusing on saving money at home.

Right now, I like being able to do all my home tasks while the kids are at school so we can all just chill on the weekends, and I like spending after-school time with my kids since they are going to be gone so soon. At this point I'm not going to get a job that wouldn't let me do those things so they can go to a more expensive school. That is just my choice.

Also, some people don't realize just how expensive college has become. They think that the way to afford college is pretty much the same as what it was when they went, and that every single person complaining about student loans is just an idiot who went to a college that can change lives for a degree in gender studies.

Going to an expensive private college is not worth it for 80% of people. Just attend in state college. If my parents saved 300k for me for college, I would ask them to give me 200k of that for a down payment on a first house. Forget paying 50-70k a year for college, that is BS.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:I think you're a troll, but I'l answer why I probably won't go back to work even though I might not even be able to pay for tuition at a state school.

I have applied to many, many jobs, and I can't get any that will work with a flexible-ish schedule that would actually make a decent amount of money. I am being picky, I know, but I would like medical and maybe 60K. The only thing I can think of that would get me some marketable skills are going back to school (which would require money upfront) or doing something very low-paying in the hopes that it would eventually lead to something more. I'm not sure I'd be better off doing that than I would be focusing on saving money at home.

Right now, I like being able to do all my home tasks while the kids are at school so we can all just chill on the weekends, and I like spending after-school time with my kids since they are going to be gone so soon. At this point I'm not going to get a job that wouldn't let me do those things so they can go to a more expensive school. That is just my choice.

Also, some people don't realize just how expensive college has become. They think that the way to afford college is pretty much the same as what it was when they went, and that every single person complaining about student loans is just an idiot who went to a college that can change lives for a degree in gender studies.

Going to an expensive private college is not worth it for 80% of people. Just attend in state college. If my parents saved 300k for me for college, I would ask them to give me 200k of that for a down payment on a first house. Forget paying 50-70k a year for college, that is BS.

MYOB

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

This is what they are not thinking about. I often have wondered that myself. My mother’s income paid for my heavy duty room and board bill while I had a full tuition scholarship. My room and board bill in the 1980s was only 2K less than what we are currently paying for a kid. I ended up with $1500K in loans that were in my parents’ names that I took over AFTER graduate school and it took me 9 months to pay it off. I now make 200K in a liberal arts field using my degree. It all hinges on going to graduate school right after undergrad.

[Anonymous]

^hinged for me on graduate school. Not saying it does for others necessarily.