SAHMs with no retirement or college savings

[Anonymous]

My friend was telling me about how her sister is stressed about her high school children and college tuition. The husband makes enough to maintain their everyday lifestyle but they have no college savings. The mom doesn’t work. She has 2 high school kids and all the time in the world and basically hasn’t worked since having kids. This just seems selfish and irresponsible.

I’m a sahm but my Dh earns a seven figure income. If Dh didn’t earn enough for our kids’ college, I absolutely 100% work.

Doesn’t it seem irresponsible and lazy to not work if your family needs the money?

[Anonymous]

Do you think that when your kids are in school you have “all the time in the world?”

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that when your kids are in school you have “all the time in the world?”

I do think if you have two teenagers who are of driving age, the parents can work when kids are in school or if they are home.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that when your kids are in school you have “all the time in the world?”

I do think if you have two teenagers who are of driving age, the parents can work when kids are in school or if they are home.

Well, two parents can work regardless of the kids’ ages. That wasn’t my question.

[Anonymous]

We’ll, people just prioritize different things. Your friend prioritizes being home with kids over paying for college. I don’t think it’s selfish or not. I definitely don’t personally find any good reason why a woman would stay home bar a child with severe disabilities (even the ones w 7 figure husbands, but it doesn’t matter what I think. Every person gets to make their own life choices and set their own priorities.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ll, people just prioritize different things. Your friend prioritizes being home with kids over paying for college. I don’t think it’s selfish or not. I definitely don’t personally find any good reason why a woman would stay home bar a child with severe disabilities (even the ones w 7 figure husbands, but it doesn’t matter what I think. Every person gets to make their own life choices and set their own priorities.

I still have young kids so I stay home. My Dh works an inflexible job and long hours to earn that seven figures.

I plan to go back to work in some capacity when kids are in school full time.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:We’ll, people just prioritize different things. Your friend prioritizes being home with kids over paying for college. I don’t think it’s selfish or not. I definitely don’t personally find any good reason why a woman would stay home bar a child with severe disabilities (even the ones w 7 figure husbands, but it doesn’t matter what I think. Every person gets to make their own life choices and set their own priorities.

Is it really being home with kids when you have teenagers going to college in 1-2 years?

This is very different from staying home with a baby or toddler.

[Anonymous]

My mom was like this. It was really annoying. They then refused to pay for college but I had to pick up their tab due to the expected family contribution and due to my dad's income, I could not get grants. My dad was not loaded but had enough that I was not grant eligible. I took out private loans at 9% and had 70k in debt from undergrad in 1999.

It really derailed my adult life. I did okay but I could have done better if I did not have that debt because I felt I could not consider professional school. It took all the joy out of my 20s...I worked 3 jobs until 33 to pay it off.

I felt my mom was lazy and had no excuse.

I will never every do that to my kids.

I work full time and have since they were born.

[Anonymous]

You seem judgmental. You have no concept of how someone else might live given your income. It may not pay for her to work and earn minimum wage. After taxes, its not going to make a huge dent in college savings and may hurt with financial aid.

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:Do you think that when your kids are in school you have “all the time in the world?”

Yes

[Anonymous]

I swear you people are among the most gullible or the Internet. The OP is trolling. She made this up. Don’t people have better things to do with a Friday night?

[Anonymous]

Anonymous wrote:You seem judgmental. You have no concept of how someone else might live given your income. It may not pay for her to work and earn minimum wage. After taxes, its not going to make a huge dent in college savings and may hurt with financial aid.

Actually she just doesn’t realize she probably has no skills to earn money.

[Anonymous]

What would they be retiring from? Retirement is for people who work.

[Anonymous]

I know a few women like this. They leaned out to SAH with babies and then did soccer and such for ES aged kids. But then never...work again. HS kids don't need you to be there for them when they get home from school - they have their own lives. These moms get used to a semi-cushy life of yoga and tennis and just hanging out at home. They don't have husbands with the type of jobs where corporate level entertaining or travel are in the mix, not to mention the salaries that go along with that.

Even with outdated resumes they could get some type of not-horrible work in retail or admin, but choose not to. Then they wring their hands over looming college expenses and retirement.

[Anonymous]

Why is it parent's responsibility to keep their kids on the payroll into adulthood?

How is this other family's choices your business at all?

Sounds like you just want confirmation in your judgments about them verified by a bunch of strangers. WtF is wrong with you?